I am excited because after work today, I have a three-day weekend, and few things in life are better than that, at least at this moment. As far as I know, the only thing I *have* to do is show up tomorrow for my haircut appt, so I have no plans and a million plans, if you know what I mean.
And I'm on board with that. Lately, I'm feeling tired of the world. Mostly because I find it tiring these days when everyone is worked up about everything. When nothing and no one is good enough, active enough, smart enough, sincere enough, feminist enough, and on and on.
I am of the firm belief that most people try their best most of the time. That may be naive, but I truly do believe it. It's hard enough to get up every day and face the universe. Even people who seem to lead charmed lives still have something that is a struggle for them - maybe it's internal, or maybe they are just good at keeping it in the undertow.
In addition, everyone chooses their own battles to fight more intensely than others. This is what seems to me to be what has been lost. And you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. For example, I have a close friend who works non-stop to prevent hunger. She has decided that for her, that is the focus of her existence. I admire her commitment, and I know that she sacrifices time with her family to help others. And as far as I know, they understand and are OK with it. Recently, she was asked by someone in her kids' school PTA group to run for office in the PTA, and she explained that she felt that would be overextending herself. Now she is getting all kinds of blowback from other parents and some of the school faculty, asking why she cares more for strangers than her own children and their friends and their well-being. Someone told her she "doesn't care enough" about kids at one of the PTA meetings. She got up and explained her reasoning, and that she *does* care, but felt that her current efforts with the organization where she volunteers would suffer if she cut back on her time, and that would have a direct effect on those they try to help. Apparently, she was then criticized and mocked for thinking she was "so incredibly important."
And that is just one example of the kind of thing that is making me tired. What business of anyone else is it if we decide that we prefer A to B? Unless A is serial killing, and B is fighting for women's rights? How is it up to others to decide how much we do, how much we care, if we are "enough"? And if they don't like our explanation, why does that deserve to be criticized and mocked as well?
I feel very strongly about certain things. That doesn't mean I ignore everything else. I will do whatever I can to stand up for what I think is right or wrong, I will defend others until the cows come home if I feel they are worth it (and I will defend the cows if they decide not to come home, if someone is mistreating them!). Like everyone else, I have a certain amount of energy, certain things I have to do, and a certain number of hours in a day. Unlike most people that I know, I have a very low tolerance level for double standards and crap.
So this weekend, other than getting my hair cut, I'm gonna be gentle with myself. Because I'm tired, and I haven't done anything wrong. My way is not your way, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong, or that I don't care. And I hope that you will treat yourself gently as well. Know that not only can we not be everything to everyone, but that it's fine. Most people try their best most of the time. If you are like most people, give yourself a break. Smile and enjoy what you are lucky enough to have, for those around you that you care about. Don't worry if you are "enough" of anything. Just be. Do. Think. Laugh. Help. Look. Be gentle.
We deserve it.
Have a gentle weekend, my friends.