01 August 2019

Hardy Har Har

Sometimes everyone's inner 10-year-old boy surfaces, and stupid/rude things strike you as just simply hilarious.  I haven't done Three on Thursday for a while, so I decided this was as good a week as any.


So I am sharing Three Stupid Things That I Found Amusing This Week.

1. Dogs for Sale.  This one isn't really part of the 10-year-old boy oeuvre (that's the next two), but I still got a heavy duty laugh out of it.  My niece Annie posted on Facebook that she had seen "The Muppet Movie" in the theater the other night as part of the 40th anniversary of its release.  She wasn't even born when it came out, but she loves the Muppets and wanted to see it in the theater as opposed to on television.

The Tim and I went with another couple, and about 5 minutes before the movie started, one of the ushers came down the aisle of the theater and made some kind of announcement which none of us heard all that well.  But Kenny, the husband in the other couple, said as the usher left, "Well that was a crazy thing."  We all kind of looked at him in a puzzled fashion, and found out that what he heard was that the usher had "dogs for sale."  (The guy sitting in front of us turned around and said, "No, he was saying that they were having trouble with the projector, so the movie would start a bit late."  It was just so ridiculous, that the rest of us laughed until we cried, and thinking of it still makes me laugh pretty hard.

2.  Unfortunate Names.  Today on the morning news, they showed a photo of a man who had been arrested for something, and his name is Dick Wang.   Which of course we found hilarious.  But that reminded me of a former co-worker who had a classmate in elementary school whose name was Sheldon Fartslinger.  For real. 

3.  Famous Family Quotes.  This coming weekend, we will be in Baltimore (you know, that rat-infested place where no human being wants to live) visiting with some family and probably doing a lot of laughing.  I was thinking of the one time when The Tim and I went to visit when my one sister's family were in Bethany Beach for a vacation, and we went to spend the night.  All of my nieces were pretty young, and Annie, the youngest, was probably about 8 years old.  We arrived really late at night, and my brother-in-law had set out a plate of cheese and crackers.  But instead the cheese was just a block, and he put a knife on the plate.

Everyone was chatting, and The Tim picked up the knife.  Annie wanted to be part of the conversation, so she said loudly "Stop everyone and look!  Uncle Tim is cutting the cheese."  Of course, we all started laughing, and she realized what she had said, so she tried to improve on it by saying, "No, what I meant was he is slicing the hard milk product."  Which seemed so much funnier.

Poor Annie, she is almost 40 years old now, and whenever anyone puts out a cheese plate, someone says, "Who is the one who's going to slice the hard milk product?"

Because we cannot ever let things go.  Ever.

10 comments:

Dee said...

From now on cheese will be "hard-milk product", cottage cheese will be "some-what jiggly milk product" and yogurt will be what it always was "milk slop"!

Wanderingcatstudio said...

Unfortunate names....
When I was a teen, I worked at New York Fries in the mall food court. A fellow work at the A&W next to was called Harold Butts.... No one was allowed to call him Harry. EVER. Poor guy. Why would parents do that to their child.

And my family is the same as yours... When I was about six years old we lived in the country. There was a large field between us and the next neighbour. One day I was out there and a deer appeared. I ran inside to tell every one I saw Bambi... but I also told them Bambi let me pet and ride him.... to this day, if I say something they don't believe, I get "yeah, well you rode Bambi."

Vera said...

Hard Milk Product - hysterical!

Bonny said...

I have never been a 10-year old boy, but apparently my inner child is alive and well. I may even watch the news tonight in hopes of seeing Dick Wang. John has trouble hearing (because he won't wear his hearing aids) so the next time he asks me what someone said, I'm just going to reply "dogs for sale". I'll be able to laugh to myself and he'll just wonder. Have a good weekend in "rat and rodent infested" Baltimore!

Kim in Oregon said...

Totally LOLed at Sheldon Fartslinger. Reminded me that I worked with a guy at my first job named Michael Growcock. Now i have to go goole him.

Araignee said...

Thanks for the laugh....I had a girl in my class once that was named Oma Bawls. I couldn't call roll without snickering behind my roll book. Thankfully first graders did not get the joke.

AsKatKnits said...

I am dying... or should I say we are at this brilliantly funny post. From Wang, to Fartslinger, to cutting the cheese. My inner 12 year old is gloriously happy!

Anonymous said...

I guess I never grew up. This was hilarious! Thanks!

Polly

WendyKnits said...

A number of years ago I was in Cornwall in the U.K. on holiday and we were watching the local news on telly. When the anchor wrapped up a story saying "This is Sarah Lillicrap, reporting live from (wherever she was" we laughed until we cried. I just googled her -- she is now director of communications for Truro High School in Cornwall. Bless her heart!

Nance said...

Oh, this kind of stuff is always funny! Thanks for the laughs.

And I love Bonny's idea: anytime anyone says "What did they say?", I'm going to say "Dogs for sale". So great!