OK, well, time is weird to start with - I mean, today is the very last day of November, which I knew intellectually, but still found surprising when I thought about it.
But specifically, it struck me on Thanksgiving. I was remembering my dad, not only because he was a crazy holiday person (I've apparently inherited that gene), but because the date of Thanksgiving this year - November 24 - fell on the anniversary of his death. The year he died, it was the Monday of Thanksgiving week, so it's always around that holiday, but there have only been a few times it falls on the same day.
Then I was thinking about how he was only 53 years old when he died. And how, from my perspective now, that's so young. (As a kid of course, I always thought my parents were REALLY old.) I was gifted with 13 of those years, and though I would have loved more, I'm glad I was given at least that much of a sliver of his existence on earth.
But what really put me on the "Time Is Weird" train was when I realized that he has been dead for 53 years. So he has been dead for as long as he was alive, and I have to be honest, that kind of blew my mind.
But then you know what was really nice? I was pointing this out to The Tim, who agreed with me that yes, it was a weird thing to think about. But then he said to me "But he is well served by your memories of him."
I think that is one of the nicest things he's ever said to me.
5 comments:
My brain works the same way. My mother died right before Thanksgiving also and it was 20 years ago this year. She was 66 and I will be 69 in two weeks. I count every year that I outlived her not as a win but as a loss since I didn't get to see her grow old. This is how your brain works when you are still grieving. They should be called the YEARS of magical thinking because in my experience it never ends. It just changes.
You are lucky to have found The Tim to share your life with. You two seem to get along so well. I am glad you have sweet memories of your Dad to comfort you.
This post has me doing all kinds of Math in my head.
It is strange, yes, to think about our memories and how they are so context dependent. I know exactly what you mean when you say that 53 seemed OLD as a kid but now it seems so very, very young, especially to lose a father (mine was around the same age, but I hadn't seen him for a dozen years, so it was a very different type of loss).
Time IS weird. But Tim . . . he's a keeper. XO
And he made your friend tear up.
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