23 September 2009

Falling Forward

Every leaf speaks bliss to me,
Fluttering from the autumn tree.
-Emily Bronte

I have to admit that I love this time of year. The change in the weather (today's temperature notwithstanding), the anticipation of the fall and winter holidays, and even the shorter hours of daylight. Unlike most people, I welcome the days when the darkness comes earlier, because to me that is part of the change of seasons. When spring and summer come and the days stay lighter later, I am just as happy about that.

This is also the time of year when I tend to make plans for myself, much more so than in January when everyone else does. Maybe it's a left over mindset from all the years that fall meant the beginning of the school year, I'm not entirely certain. I've spent the past couple of days going over all sorts of knitting projects, sewing projects, and things I want to get done in the house and outside in the garden.

Over the years, I have learned that I have a tendency to get carried away with such things. This means one of two things happens: a) I feel overwhelmed, and don't even get things started, or b) I feel like a failure because I haven't been able to complete everything in the time frame I have set for myself. So this year I am working on lowering my expectations. Because I am the only one who is creating these deadlines for myself, so after years of angst, it has finally occurred to me that I'm the one who can make the decision to change the way I do things and make plans.

As a result, I'm feeling hopeful instead of already a little bit wary. I have made myself a very general list of projects, and put them into different broad categories. (I may not be working at the moment as a cataloger, but some things don't go away ...) I have decided that getting any of the items on the list accomplished will mean success, regardless of whether or not the entire list is tackled.

See? Already, it's better.

Now, if I could only force people to call me for interviews for jobs and then hire me ... sadly, there is only a certain amount of control I have over that aspect of my life. I can only hope that there will be some leftover good karma floating around in the universe that will make a stop at our house before too long ...

12 comments:

Carrie K said...

Sending good employment thoughts your way!

I'm one of those that love the early nightfalls.

mary said...

What's that silly saying from a rock and roll song, 'change your mind and change your life'. I love making plans and setting goals myself, but you are so right, accomplishing any will mean success.

Sending many good thoughts on the job situation!

Lorraine said...

Bridget- Sending you lots of good Karma- and thereby, keeping some for myself.

Happy Fall!

Marie said...

You go, girl.

Channon said...

Sending good job thoughts your way!

handeyecrafts said...

For you, I can only imagine lots of Good Karma.

Brigitte said...

Always sending good karma your way!
This is my favourite time of year too - I love everything about the fall. Especially the cooler weather, which makes for the best knitting.

Kathleen said...

Sending good karma your way, particularly the job variety. I know just what you mean about forcing people to interview and then hire you!

Mr Puffy's Knitting Blog: said...

I wonder if knitting a Clapotis is on that list ;) You ought to really give it another whirl, but with different yarn. It really is one of my favorite scarfs.

Like you I am delighted when the days end earlier - but I'm not happy to see the longer days in the Spring. The less sunshine I see, the happier I am.

I do hope that you are able to return to the profession you enjoy most. But I think your time at the pen has been very amusing. Wouldn't you miss it?

craftivore said...

I with you totally on "b". I love the fall weather but always get anxious, particularly career-wise. Fall unsettles me somehow.

Tracy said...

Happy Autumn, Bridget! Hoping very much the Universe will be favoring you very highly very soon! Wishing you all the best... :o)

Lorette said...

You and I might be sisters in another universe. This is the time of year that I round up all the books I want to read, set up the medical education stuff I want to do, get my pencils and pens in order. I also tend to make these impossible, unachievable lists of things to do in September and October. Here's to better karma for the coming year!