02 May 2019

Just Don't Tell Me About These Things If You Know Me

One of my co-workers is having twins in a few weeks.  She already has a 2 1/2 year old little boy, and was not planning to have any more children, so she is not very happy about the whole thing.  You might think, well, there are ways to prevent that from happening, but she admittedly was not paying attention.

To her credit, even with her first child, she was not super into being pregnant, and did not talk about it all day every day.  She clearly loves her little boy, and we all like hearing stories about him, mostly because she also discusses other topics.  So she is actually fine.  It's everyone else that is talking about it all of the time, and driving everyone in our department crazy (even the one woman whose "true goal" in life is to be pregnant at least four times).

And during this time of having to listen to everyone question her about things even if/when she clearly doesn't want to talk about it, I have been reminded of a few things that people say/do that make me want to scream (at a minimum).


In honor of Three on Thursday, here we go.

1.  Baby bump.  I think it's supposed to be cutesy, but it's not.  It's really just annoying.  Especially when the person having the baby hates the term but has to hear it over and over.  My co-worker cringes every time someone says it to her, and I do not blame her one bit.

2.  Babymoon. This is apparently something prospective parents just absolutely must do.  It's a trip for just the two of them  before the baby comes - their last time to spend together as a couple.  When the aforementioned co-worker was asked with her first baby if they were taking a babymoon, she first asked what it was, and then answered that they couldn't afford it.  The person who asked then responded, "Well, can't either of your parents pay for it?"  Which only made it more obnoxious to me.  I don't care if people take such a trip, but call it that - a trip, vacation, getaway, etc.

3.  Gender reveal parties.  OH MY GOD PLEASE SPARE ME.  This is when people have a party to reveal whether they are having a boy or a girl.  There are various permutations, but often an envelope is given to a baker with a note from the doctor's office saying the gender of the baby (even the parents don't know!), who then makes the cake with pink or blue filling.  Then the parents find out at the same time that their guests do whether it's a boy or a girl, and festivities ensue!  I thought wedding and baby showers were annoying, but this pushes them way out of contention.  I have been invited to two of these in the last couple of years, and have sent regrets each time because I. Just. Cannot.

As I said, I have been invited to two gender reveal parties, and one of my very own nieces and her husband have gone on a babymoon.  I know plenty of people think this is all just the best stuff in the world, and so whimsical, and fun, etc., etc.  And I know I'm a weirdo, because when I was getting married if anyone told me they wanted to throw me a shower, I told them I would not be attending, because I absolutely hate them - this caused much consternation, and people kept asking my mother if something was wrong with me ("Just what's been wrong with her for her entire life, I guess," was usually her answer).  So it's not like I haven't been exposed to any of this stuff before, it's just that I think it's stupid, and so, if you are planning to say or do any of these things at all, just please don't tell me. 

In this case, ignorance really IS bliss.  :-)

15 comments:

Patty said...

Babymoon...ugh. Can't your parents pay for it? Ugh. What your mom said...absolutely the best!

Nance said...

Yes, Yes, Yes! I am irked, annoyed, and irritated by all of these three. And not just because I Am Old. And that these stupidities all occurred AFTER I had my children.

It's because they are Dumb. And in the case of the Gender Reveal and Babymoon, more self-aggrandizement and PinTwitFacery. And in the case of the Bump term, simply Terrible Language Ruination. And Cutification/Infantilization of a Very Important Adult Female Job.

Sigh. Now you got me started.

Kym said...

I see it all as an extension of The Wedding Industry. Very tedious, indeed. (I had not yet heard the term "babymoon.") (What will they think of next?)

Kim in Oregon said...

Agreeing with you on all of this.

kathy b said...

Agree agree agree. How about we just hope and pray for a healthy baby. . Those who walk around with their hands on their big bellies, (including the royals) are apparently very proud that they can have sex and get pregnant, like a mouse or a gerbil.....
Gender reveals, PUSH Presents, OH please, the baby is the present, and public marriage proposals drive Fireman and I Nuts. I love baby showers. But I hate weddings and wedding showers. SAVE THE DATE! sent out 6 months ahead of the event, .........means we are more important than anything in your life. I m about to send a wedding invite back with a polite, NOT ATTENDING. and no explanation.

kmkat said...

Hear, hear yo all three!

Dee said...

All of it!!!! And Nance's comment too.

Could people GET any more self involved??????

Wanderingcatstudio said...

I think gender reveal parties are absolutely ridiculous because no one beyond the parents, and maybe the grandparent/other immediate family really care one way or another. To me it's all just another part of the pretentious "look-at-me" tendencies of these last few generations (my generation included, sadly) - the selfie culture, if you will.
The only reason I ever care about the gender is if I'm making a gift... because while I personally feel that colours shouldn't have genders, the entire world is not there yet, and I won't force my ideals on someone else's kid.


Babymoon - especially to someone who can't afford one - is just so bloody pretentious. It's right up there with "push presents" (a term which just makes me gag). If you'd hadn't heard of it... it's when Mom gets a big blingy diamond or something equally expensive and ridiculous from husband or parents for squeezing out a kid... I don't really understand the point... incentive to help get you through the pain? Once you're to that point, it's not like you can just hold the kid in indefinitely.

I don't mind the idea of baby showers, I just really, really hate having to play stupid games at them. Can't we just get together, eat, drink and be merry, and ooh and awww over the cute little baby shoes you get?

Anonymous said...

Colossal waste of money and resources for these things, plus the cutesyness makes me gag.

As to preventing pregnancy, there isn’t a foolproof method, barring abortion —maybe. I personally knew a family whose fifth child was born years after a tubal ligation. And I believe it’s not the only time that’s happened. My own daughter was the result of spermicide.

Brenda said...

In my opinion, the biggest issue here is that people don't understand boundaries. The people you work with are co-workers. They are NOT your family and they are NOT friends. It is not appropriate to celebrate the birth of a child, holidays, birthdays, or other personal events in the workplace---save that for your family and friends, who really do care. I worked in a large organization and the hat was passed for every birth and bridal shower. That was great for the people that got all of the gifts, but not so wonderful for the people who felt forced to contribute and never received or asked for anything in return.

Lilly's Mom said...

Hi Bridget I agree with everything you said 100%! There's a few more odd things that could be added to the list..haha. enjoy your day! Pat 🤗

Araignee said...

Agree, agree and agree. I would beat up my Daughter if she even thought of those things.

WendyKnits said...

I 100% agree with what Brenda said about people not understanding boundaries. I recently had a major haircut (got 18" cut off) and I had total strangers who only know me by sight come up to me in the hall at work and ask "Did you donate it?" What possible business is it of ANYONE what happened to my discarded hair?

Not to end on a bad note, my colleague who suffered a brain aneurysm in November and made a miraculous almost 100% recovery (he was given a 10% change of living) just became a grandfather yesterday! So happy for him! And the baby's parents did NOT go on a Babymoon. ;-)

Jeannie Gray Knits said...

100% agreement here! Except I'm fine with baby showers. Don't like the ridiculous games, but like the idea of helping the new mom prepare for the little one's arrival. I'd never heard of a baby moon. Sounds like you're going to sacrifice the baby under a full moon.

karen said...

I am so with you on all three! it's like they invented pregnancy....