Many years ago, in a different life, The Tim and I lived in Washington, DC, and we both worked jobs that had 8-5 hours, Monday through Fridays. So we often did our grocery shopping early on Sunday mornings, because most of the grocery stores were not crowded at that time, and then we also had the rest of the day to do other things.
The two primary grocery stores at the time were Giant and Safeway. There were no Giant stores that near to us, so we would most often go to Safeway.* A friend let us in on the secret that the Safeway in Georgetown was especially nice, and had really great produce, since "it's where the maids shop." So we tried it out, and she was right - all of the produce looked nice, it was a clean store, and just overall much much nicer than our "regular" Safeway.
One Sunday morning at the Georgetown Safeway, we had gotten the stuff we wanted, and headed for the checkout lines. There was only one lane open (it was that quiet in the store), and a guy got there a millisecond before me with his cart. And then, even though I had made no comment or gesture indicating that I should have been before him, he said - in the most prissy way possible - "I was here first. And if you don't believe me, you can ask the manager," pointing towards the room where the manager was sitting, which had windows out onto the store.
Me (in my brain); What is your problem? Also, I'm sure the manager spends all of his time keeping track of who should be first in what lane ...
Anyway, no big deal. But then, when the cashier starting ringing up his order, he said to her, "I was in line first, no matter what SHE says" (pointing to me, again being REALLY prissy). As you might well imagine, the cashier was uninterested.
I noticed that everything he was buying was super organic, healthy food. And I was annoyed that he was making a big deal out of something that didn't even happen. So, I scanned the shelves at the checkout, and chose a king size bag of M&M peanut candies, and a small carton of Ex-Lax and added it to his order. When he saw them and said, "Wait, I didn't buy those!" and pointed at me, I was going to say, "Well, *I* didn't put them there. If you don't believe me, you can ask the manager."
The glee that was building in me was immense. No one was ever happier at a grocery store checkout lane, Georgetown Safeway or not. I kept giving The Tim meaningfully amused looks. He had a poker face.
So, you are possibly wondering - what ended up happening?
Well, he didn't notice the extra items, and therefore paid for them, and was likely infuriated to find them in his bag when he unpacked his groceries at home. I'm hoping took them back for a refund and talked to the MANAGER!
I was amused and pleased for the whole day, that I had gotten my revenge on someone who was such a twit.
The Tim had missed the entire series of events, and had no idea why I looked so pleased with myself. When I regaled him with the entire tale, he just shook his head. Apparently he does not find whimsical revenge amusing.
Oh well, that is his loss.
**Note: All these years later, this story still pleases and amuses me.
12 comments:
Oh yes... we are truly kindred spirits...
My brother and I called that game "shopping for others" and we used it on people like him, or people who hogged the aisle with their carts, and gave you dirty looks/comments when you politely said "excuse me". It's especially fun when you're in the pharmacy aisle and can throw things like condoms and lube in their cart without them noticing....
Great story Bridget! I can just see what that person looked like while in the store and can only imagine his horror when he got home and unpacked his items. Hahahahaha
Love this story! The joke was on him! Take care, Pat
Ah, the Social Safeway. It's even fancier now, if you can believe it, I suspect to pull back some of the clients they were losing to Whole Foods. I've never had a bad experience there (or at any of the less fancy grocery stores in D.C.), but Rudi has run into the type of person you mention (who in the story I can recall claimed diplomatic privilege), who jumped the line and demanded to be treated specially. I believe Rudi and the cashier shared an eye-roll after the "diplomat" left.
I think your whimsical revenge was brilliant! You have added a fun and exciting dimension to my future checkout behavior.
Whimsical Revenge FTW!
Nice job. Subtle, yet effective. And the fact that it still provides you with Profound Satisfaction years later proves that it was Worth It.
I agree with Tim. Not funny, just childish and mean-spirited.
LOVE THIS!!! I live in that area-as you know and have had my fair share of those types of encounters in, yes....the Giant or the Safeway which is where I still do most of my shopping. I have to say since moving out to the more rural suburbs things are much calmer. Whole Foods? Now that is a whole other matter. I avoid it at all costs.
you sly devil and aren't you clever? I always wonder why some people are just mean and rotten...honestly it's not very fun to be around those types.
Bridget- Love it!
I worship at Coronation Street.
I am so glad you told us that story because you put a smile on my face this morning. Well done Bridget!
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