10 December 2008

Christmastime Reality Check

Hi Everyone ~

It's me, Tess. You may remember me from various blog posts that my Ma has written, and/or from my letter to Santa last year. Well, if you have read this blog for even two days, you know that my Ma is a fanatic about holidays, and in particular, goes crazy over Christmas. As a matter of fact, the other day she said to me, "Tess, what is your favorite Christmas decoration?"

Honestly.

Don't get me wrong, I think Christmas is a lot of fun. Ma and Da bring a TREE into the house, and put all kinds of decorations on it, some at the bottom, so that we can rearrange them as we see fit. (And trust me - they *need* to be rearranged - those two have a poor sense of composition!) We get extra treats, the house usually is warm and smells good, and Santa brings us some surprises.

But a favorite decoration? Me? I really have much better things to do with my time than think about things like this. (The Kitty Jihad and World Domination Plan (KJWDP) website is going well, by the way, thanks for asking.) On top of which, look at this:

Dressed up cats caroling??? Oh, I think not. This is clearly the creation of someone who either has never had a cat, or has only had cats like my lame-o brothers, who will do just about anything for people to think they are "cute," or "funny." No self-respecting cat would allow themselves to be caught in such a get-up for even a photograph, much less to model for a "sculpture."

Now if these were dogs caroling, that would be different - dogs have no real self-respect, and will do just about anything when asked. Sure, some of them might be cute, or I guess there are even nice ones, but they are just so obvious in their intentions, don't you think?

Now don't get me wrong, the decoration above is festive-looking, and it does tend to make people smile when they see it, which is what a Christmas decoration should do. Little children in particular seem to like it. But as we know, they have undeveloped brains and therefore, cannot grasp the ridiculousness of the whole scenario. And in our house, which is - shall we say - very decorated, this decoration is one of the few that is not in my way most of the time.

Plus, the cats do sort of look like the original group of us in the family, so that's kind of nice ...

And, thinking about it a little more, Christmas carols are awfully pretty to hear, even when you don't hear as well as you used to, like me ...

I also have to say that whoever created this decoration did a pretty decent job, making the cats' markings look pretty authentic ...

It almost reminds me of the one Christmas about three years ago, when my Ma and Da put a pretty gold ribbon around my neck and I wore it all day ...

Wait! What was I saying???

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh,Tess, you take such a pretty picture.You are SO lucky that your Ma puts out festive decorations. My mom only puts up a stinking old FAKE tinsel tree and NO lights.
I do,however, have my own "Hello,Kitty" stocking.Why doesn't she have a mouth?
Love,
Lucy
a.k.a. "Sister of Seb"

P.S. I'd love to help you out with your KJWDP but I'm not allowed out of the house..

Jenn said...

What, you don't wear hats, Tess?

"dogs have no real self-respect," truer words have never been spoken. Someday I'm going to shoot a video of Rufus flailing around doing every trick he knows for a dog cookie. This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time.

balladofyoko said...

I think my dog was caroling the other day-- no wait, that was him howling at my practicing.

Lorraine said...

Tess- What an amazing puss you are, wearing a ribbon just to keep mama happy.

I can see why you would be insulted by kitty carol singers.

Mr Puffy's Knitting Blog: said...

Hi Tess. I understand about all the decorating but you have the right attitute - if it makes your Mom happy - you have a willing heart. Now you go find that gold ribbon and wear it with pride!

KSD said...

Poor Tess. We are embarrassed for you.
--- Gable, Erin, Lily and Esme Dean

Brigitte said...

Hi Tess, I would gladly bow before you, 'cause you're cute and stuff. Can I join your KJWDP? I promise to be content as an underling.

Love, Atticus

PS - Although if you admit to wearing a gold ribbon in print again, we may have issues.

Carrie K said...

Tess, my mother made me wear a bow on my head last Christmas, so the gold ribbon sounds vastly better to me. You get a real tree? Ours is fake, but MY village is under it and I like to hang out and lord over my subjects.

Caroling sounds fun though.

-Hezekiah