In Which I Am Clearly Confused; And, A Friday Funny

As you may have noticed, the post for Week 3 of Christmas in July went up yesterday instead of today, when it was supposed to happen. Whoops! Not that it's a problem, since it just gives anyone interested an extra day to enter the giveaway, but it is just another case of me confusing the days of the week.

When I originally started my part-time job, the days I worked were Sunday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday was added, and that was easy enough to keep track of, since it was just an add-on after my regular days.

Then last month, my schedule was changed again - now I work on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Which is nice because then I get four days off in a row. BUT, I'm still not there in my brain. So every Wednesday, I think it's Thursday, and every Thursday, I think it's Friday. Inevitably, at some point on each of those days, I'll remember that I'm just getting things confused, but clearly it's gonna take a bit longer until it "sticks" in my brain and I am clear on what day of the week is actually happening. 😉

What can I say, I'm a creature of habit!

Anyway, it gives me a chance to share this cartoon that I saw the other day. I really like it, but I have to admit that it took me a minute to "get" it. Enjoy, and remember if you want to enter the giveaway, it's on yesterday's post.

Some Friday Letters

Today seems like a good day for some letters, don't you think?

Dear Summer People: 

Well, you've had more than what you wished for this summer, haven't you? Heat, heat, humidity, humidity. You know, what you love and can't wait to celebrate. I hope you soaked in every second, and I hope you enjoyed it, since you love it so much. But let's agree that we're all ready to move along, OK?

Dear People Who Are Having Babies:

If having a baby means you need to take your pet or pets to a shelter, or even worse, just abandon them, maybe you should never have a pet - or even a baby - in the first place. You, my friends, are the worst of us. I am curious - when you have a second baby, are you going to take the first one to a shelter because you "won't have the time" to care for it?

Dear Louis de Joy:

May you die a long, painful, terrible death, unable to get the medication you need because it is being delivered through the USPS, and you have ruined it so much, people are lucky if they even get their bills on time. You're welcome.

Dear Guy Who Sings While Walking Down the Street Every Afternoon:

You do you. Your singing is terrible and too loud, but you are clearly so happy, just keep going. The world needs more terrible, loud, happy singers.

Dear People Driving Cars:

You do realize that some people actually walk around, right? And that you can't move until the light turns green? So maybe don't honk at people who you think are moving too slow through the crosswalk, while the light is still red. Particularly you, guy in the green Lexus, who also added a "Hurry up" yell to an elderly man who was crossing the street. May someone key your precious Lexus accidentally on purpose one day.

Dear Bees and Butterflies:

Please hang in there. Our asters didn't do as well this summer because we couldn't keep them from frying in the sun. Hopefully they will be back and do better next summer, and I'm also going to try to plant more flowers that you like next year. 

Dear Fall Weather:

Anytime you feel like showing up, I'll be here - and more than happy to see you!

******

It's a long Labor Day weekend here in the U.S., so if you have plans, enjoy!  We have no specific plans, which is fine with us. Hopefully we can have our picnic dinner that we missed having on July 4th since Covid came to visit for that holiday.

In any case, no matter where you are or what you do/do not celebrate, just enjoy the time however you can.

To Whom It May Concern

 

You know what I haven't done for a long time? Friday letters.  So what the heck, let's give it a try.

Dear Milo the Koodle,

I know you have only lived with us now for TEN YEARS, but do you think you might be able to learn to keep your claws in?  I realize that your mother was a feral cat, and so she probably kept her claws out, and nice and sharp, because she actually needed to do that. But seriously, there is no reason you have to always have your claws ready for attack. I cannot remember a single incident during your life with us that required such defenses.  Signed, Most of My Sweaters, All of My Arms, and Some of My Face

***

Dear Phillies,

Today is Opening Day for baseball. I hope you have a winning season for a change. But if at all possible, could you not have another season where you are seemingly on fire, winning most games, and then all of a sudden, seem to forget how to play baseball altogether and tank for the rest of the season. That's just rude.

Signed, Most Baseball Fans in Philadelphia

***

Dear Basketball-Playing Kid in Front of Our House,

Good for you for having something you'd rather do than beating others up and/or shooting them. And I'm glad the next-door neighbors have no problems with you using their hoop to shoot baskets now that their kids have all moved out. But I would like to request that you stop at 11:00 p.m. or sooner on nights that the weather is nice, because particularly on nights when I have to get up early for work the next day, it's hard to fall asleep with the sound of bouncing basketballs right outside.  

Having said that, if you feel your only other option is crime, bounce away!

Signed, Your Neighbor Who Is Really Trying To Be Nice About It

***

Dear the 53 Senators Who Voted to Confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson,

Thank you.

Signed, A Citizen

***

Dear the 47 Senators Who Voted Against Her Confirmation,

Words cannot express what I hope happens to you someday. Telling you to go to h**l would be too kind.

Signed, A Citizen

***

Dear Whiny People Who Actually Have Nothing Whine About,

STFU.

Signed, Myself and Mostly Everyone I Know

***

And that's it.  I hope you have a lovely weekend, full of what you want it to be.

Time for Some Friday Letters

It's been a while, and I haven't shared any Friday letters, so let's give it a go.

Dear Woman Behind Me in Line At Starbucks,

I was already happy because I was stopping there for a treat in the form of a Cranberry Bliss Bar, but it was even better when you gave me the lovely compliment about my coat.  I especially appreciated it since it's a coat I've had for about 6 years that I hope every year will make it through another season.  And then when I thanked you, and you said, "You are very welcome.  I enjoy giving people compliments - they are free, and I feel just as good as they do."  That was not just a wonderful reminder, but it also reminded me that younger people are not all terrible like the ones that work in my dept.  So thank YOU for brightening my morning!

*****

Dear Elevator Repair Guy at Work,

I think you must be one of the most pleasant workmen who ever comes into our workspace.  You always say hello and have a pleasant thing to say.  Even if others don't appreciate it, I do, and thank you for your good will.

*****

Dear Hamlet,

I know.  Since "Hamilton" is currently playing here, everyone thinks that is your name.  Take it from me, after the first couple of reminders, it's easier to just go with it, and doesn't hurt anyone.  They are still stopping to say hello (which you love) and at least their mistake is somewhat close to your actual name.  (Take it from someone who has spent most of her life having people call her Gretchen.)

*****

Dear November,

Thank you for being actually seasonal!  I have been enjoying the sunny, crisp days.  I'm sure everyone else will complain because it is supposed to be extra cold this weekend, but I will definitely be enjoying it.  If you could be seasonal especially on Thanksgiving, that would be the best.

*****

Dear Yarn I'm Waiting to Arrive,

Could you hustle and get here already?  It's bad enough I had to order more, but I'd like to finish the two projects I need you for, and be able to start something else.  I'm sure one of you will arrive soon, but to the other of you, it's been a while and we're running out of the time frame during which you were supposed to be here.

*****

Dear Neighbor Nobody Likes,

This time around I'm writing because I want you to know that I will sweep the walk in front of our house when I'm good and ready to do it.  It's not currently dangerous in any way, it's none of your beeswax, and if you are so worked up about it, feel free to sweep it yourself.  No one likes a nebshit.

*****

Dear Administration at Work,

Do you really think that no one has found out that you laid off 20 people, decimating two depts?  It's kind of hard for people who had no warning to keep quiet about being laid off by the end of the year.  And good luck with having volunteers and consultants do those jobs moving forward.  Also, good luck getting the rest of us to believe this will be an isolated occurrence.  If you would just announce that it was happening, you'd at least get some credit for being honest with the rest of us.

*****

Dear Weekend,

I have no specific plans for you, and let's hope it stays that way.  I really don't feel like dealing with anyone else's drama on my days off.  :-)

*****

Here's hoping your weekend will be lovely and also drama-free!

This Post Brought to You By Letter Writing

Hello and happy Friday!  It certainly seemed to take its time getting here, but as long as it arrived, that's what mattered.  Today seems like a good day for some letters.

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Dear People Ahead of Me In Line at Wawa:

None of you have an overwhelming amount of things that you are buying.  And though the wait is normally not that long, it's long enough for you to be prepared when it is your turn to check out.  So how about being ready?  You know, have your wallet/card/cash easily reachable and ready to go, so that you are not holding up things by a) digging around in your bag and/or b) looking to see what cash you can dig out of a pocket.  And by extension, do your fellow bus riders/subway riders a favor and have your card ready for that too.  It's not like you are running to catch the bus and haven't had time.  Most of you are the types that complain when it's someone else doing the same thing, so work on some self-awareness, why don't you?

******

Dear Guy Spraying the Sidewalk in Front of the Bank:

I know you want to just get it done and move on, but please remember that people are walking by, and don't just randomly pull the hose.  Yesterday you nearly knocked a guy down, and he was even trying to be careful!

*******

Dear People on Social Media:

Stop complaining.  No one is forcing you to a) use social media, or b) follow everyone and everything.  So your continual whining about how terrible and toxic it is gets old really fast.  I am not an expert, nor am I a paragon of what is right, but I am a sensible person.  I do look at Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.  However, if something/someone bothers me a lot, I don't follow them, or I block them.  Problem solved.  And since the world is still the world no matter how you try to control it, I don't look at any social media after 8 p.m.  Why get yourself upset/worked up/overwhelmed to the point where, by the time you go to sleep, you can't get to sleep?  Also, no one is making you look at/use social media all the time, so your "vacations" seem awfully made up to me.  If you are spending too much of your day on social media, it isn't social media's fault.  Geez.

******

Dear People with Cell Phones:

Look up.  Pay attention.  And unless the call is REALLY important, don't take it in the middle of spending time with someone else.  It's rude.  Before cell phones, people had no compunction about saying "I'm busy right now, I'll call you back," and the world still kept turning.

******

Dear a Large Number of Men:

Get over yourselves.

******

Dear a Large Number of Women:

See above.

******

Dear Fall:

I see you, waiting in the wings.  Let's get together soon, OK?

******

Dear Cardinal Family Who Live in the Garden:

Wow you guys eat a lot!  But I'm glad you seem to think our garden is the best restaurant in town.  Feel free to stay as long as you like, we are more than happy to have you in the family so to speak.

******

Dear Oliver Who Lives Down the Street:

I am so glad that even if you are scared of most dogs, that you and Hamlet have become friends.  He is just as excited to see you as you are to see him.  I would apologize for his bad breath when he kisses you, but you don't seem to mind.  I hope you two stay friends for a long time.

******

Dear Perry The World's Most Annoying Neighbor:

Yep, you're likely the only one who doesn't call yourself that.  Just so you know.

******

Dear Blog Friends:

Have  good weekend, and thanks for reading!  Hope you get in a lot of knitting, reading, cooking, exercising, or whatever makes you happy.  I'm hoping to actually spend some time outside willingly, since the weather is supposed to be pleasant.  YAY!

It's Time for Some Friday Letters

I'm in the mood to "send" some letters today, so I'm sharing them with you.  Because Friday letters can help you get things off your chest and start the weekend with a better outlook.  :-)

*****

Dear Koodle:

I deeply apologize for going to the bathroom this morning before I went downstairs to feed you.  However, I do not feel that your retaliatory peeing on my pillow was deserved.  How can you be such a good boy (in a manner of speaking) most of the time, and such a terrible awful brat on occasion?  Also, I would like to remind you that you have two parents, and could have just as easily peed on the other one's pillow just as easily, if that was something that just *had* to be done ...

*****

Dear Toll Brothers:

Admittedly, I find you despicable all of the time.  But did you have to add to my negative feelings towards you by numbering the new block of houses the way you did?  ALL of the other houses in the neighborhood -and the city - follow this kind of numbering:  2100, 2102, 2104, 2106, etc.  In what universe does your numbering system make sense???  You have numbered these houses in the following manner:  2404, 2402, 2408, 2406, etc.  THIS MAKES ME STABBY BEYOND BELIEF.  I can no longer walk on the 2400 block of South Street because the way you have numbered things makes me twitch.  Plus, it makes no sense.  This is further proof that you are pure evil.

*****

Dear Guy in Rittenhouse Square singing "Hot-Blooded" this morning:

Thank you for being amusing while also not being threatening or seeming like a nutjob.  Your obvious pleasure in singing out loud was a really nice thing.  My only request for the future is that you sing a variety of songs, rather than sticking with just that one.

*****

Dear Toll Brothers, Again:

See above.  STOP IT.

*****

Dear Amoroso Bread Delivery Guy:

Hamlet and I see you every morning on our early walk, and I appreciate that you pay enough attention to ask me how I am doing, since you had been on vacation last week, and "was worried something had happened" when you didn't see us the week before.  It's nice to know that even though we are basically strangers, you are paying attention to what is going on around you as far as people you see regularly.  I hope it didn't creep you out when I said that *I* wondered where you were last week!

*****

Dear Toll Brothers, 3rd Time:

DUDES.

*****

Dear Bird in the Tree on the Deck:

I hope your singing is because you are as happy and joyful as you sound.  It makes my morning so much nicer to hear you, and your song is so lovely.  (Keep away from any neighborhood kitties, please.)

*****

Dear Universe and Whoever/Whatever Is In Charge:

Thank you for letting me be here.  Fourteen years ago today, I had my first cancer surgery, and though I had every assurance from my wonderful doctors that all would go well and be OK, I was scared about it all.  It was a long haul, but I'm still here to rant against things and appreciate the birds, so my gratitude is eternal.

*****

What about you?  Do you have any letters to send today? 

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.  Ours is supposed to be spotted with rain showers the whole time, but as long as it's not continual, I can deal with it.  My plan is to stay put, knit, read, and hope I can feel better.  Take care!

Let's Begin a New Month with Some Letters

The first day of March, which is one of my most favorite months of the year!  It's snowy and becoming slushier by the moment here in Philadelphia, but it's Friday, and it's the first of March, so as far as I'm concerned, it's all good.

Having said that, I have decided to start the month off with some Friday letters.

******

Dear Bryce Harper:

So you are now one of the Phillies.  Good for you.  I do think you have talent, but I gotta say, I'm not a fan on a personal level.  You strike me as grand example of a douchebag bro.  I doubth that - or you - will change, but at least I hope you help the Phillies win.  However, should you turn a team that seems to be a bunch of relatively nice sporting nerds into other douchebag bros, I'm the least of your worries, because other Philadelphia residents will straighten you out with no hesitation.  Welcome to Philadelphia - the City of Brotherly Love that is not in any way for the faint of heart.

******

Dear Bernie Sanders:

Jesus Christ on a snowmobile, WHY do you feel the need to run for president again?  Look, I agree with a lot of your concerns and ideas, but seriously, dude.  Just stop.

******

Dear Hamlet:

I love you beyond words, but I wish you could understand that when you are allowed on the bed for a few minutes in the morning before we get up to go for a walk, that it would be more fun for me if you didn't feel the need to park on top of my chest.  I enjoy being able to breathe, and 80 pounds of you makes it quite challenging.

******

Dear Knitting Podcasters:

Thank you for your company these past few months when I couldn't knit.  It was nice to have you around, particularly on the days I was stuck at home and didn't feel like reading.

******

And that's it for me.  Do you you have any letters you'd like to share??

Have a good weekend!

Let's Write Some Friday Letters

I had forgotten all about Friday Letters (were they originally Kym's idea?), until I looked at Bonny's blog today.  I enjoyed her post, and since I was in the mood to write today but was uninspired, I thought I'd do a few letters of my own.

**********

Dear Pantsuit Politics,

Thank you for your podcast!  Not only is it interesting and lively, but it provides a calming influence in the current political climate.  Why can't the rest of the country talk about things reasonably like you do, and like we used to do?  In any event, you give me hope that we will somehow be able to move forward.  Keep up the good work.

**********

Dear Camille Cosby,

WOW.  Really?  I mean, I'm all for loyalty to one's partner, but comparing your husband's conviction to what happened to Emmett Till?  And wanting the legal team involved on the prosecution side investigated for misconduct?  Wow.  Personally, I would have already dumped him, but in any case, I'd just keep quiet.  But you decided speaking out was the answer.  And ... WOW.

**********

Dear Paul Ryan,

Admittedly, even on your best days, I think you are a tool.  But clearly you have never ever spent any time with Jesuits, or if you did, you *really* were not paying attention.  Thanks though, for the high level of amusement you have provided.

**********

Dear Puerto Rico,

I know.  It's been 255 days and counting and still you are not really any better off in most areas where you were.  And hurricane season is getting ready to start again.  I love you, but right now that isn't helping much.  And I'm doing what I can to help, but I'm sure by now you have realized that since you are neither wealthy nor lily-white, and have only limited voting rights, the Orange Monster and his ilk can't be bothered.  I hope you get even a tiny bit of comfort from knowing that someday, somehow, it will come back to bite them all in the posterior.  In the meantime, God bless all of you.

**********

Dear Springtime,

I've been told that you will be coming back, starting this weekend.  Please do.  You're the only thing standing between me and a too early, too long, summer!

**********

Happy Weekend!  I  hope it's a good one for everyone.

Friday Letters

Hello there!  I've seen this on various other blogs over the past couple of months, and it has amused me.  Since I am in the mood to post something, but have nothing particular planned, I thought I'd give it a try.

***

Dear Hair ~ Tomorrow we are going to get you cut, and maybe even colored.  Perhaps you could work with the stylist so that what I tell him and what you actually do within 10 minutes of leaving the salon will be the same story, and how I look when I leave there will be roughly how I look until I go for another cut.

***

Dear Douchebag Neighbor ~ No, I do not want to sign your latest petition.  Partly due to your douchbag-ness, but partly because I feel that, if you want to make it "more like the suburbs," that you should move to the suburbs.  Many problems would be solved by this approach.

***

Dear Sweet Dug the Doodle Dog ~ Please try not to get explosive diarrhea again anytime soon.  And if you must (because face it, you're a dog), maybe wait until we are actually awake, instead of at 3:00 a.m. on a weekday when we have to go to work.

***

Dear Administration at Work ~ You must think we are all beyond dim if you truly believe that we think we have gotten "raises," when the only reason we are getting higher salaries is because you have increased our hours in a major way.  It still wouldn't be a popular decision, but if you would just admit the truth, you might be able to save a modicum of respect.  Though given your track record, maybe not ...

***

Dear Guy with the 10-month old Pit Bull Puppy Named Carmen ~ Thank you for letting me pet and cuddle your puppy, and be the recipient of so many puppy kisses!  It made my day.

***

Dear Samantha the Cat ~ Thank you for letting Dug sniff noses with you whenever we walk past your house and you are outside.  He is always puzzled when other cats just run away, so you make his walk an extra good one when we run into you.

***

Do you have any letters you'd like to write?

Have a good weekend!