31 December 2020

Perspective on 2020

Well, to hear everyone else talk, the entire universe is anxious for 2020 to be over, and people are already celebrating today as much as tomorrow.  

Not me.  I think it's disingenuous to write off an entire year as terrible, because first of all, if you can do that, it means that you made it through the year.  Secondly, I don't want to live my life focusing on only what comes next.  If you only live in the future, you miss the good in the present.

(Also - remember people who kept saying "Oh my God, I can't wait for 2019 to be over - bring on 2020!  Well, watch what you wish for.)

In the overarching sense of time and this past year, of course it was tough.   And heartbreaking.  And frustrating.  And in so many ways, not good at all.  I don't know anyone who wanted the Covid-19 pandemic to happen, or who wants it to continue.  I'm not talking about that, because that is something that required a whole 'nother level of thought, behavior, and caring (or none, if you are certain people who shall not be named here because we all know who they are).

But guess what?  People still had birthdays.  Babies were still born.  Things could still be funny.  You were free to keep loving your family and your life.  Even at the worst of times, being around to experience all of it was better than the alternative.

At the beginning of the year, I choose the word "Attend" as my One Little Word.  Not in the sense of attending a party or a concert or whatever.  In the sense of pay attention, attend to the world and your life.  If anything, the lockdown and the pandemic only helped me with all of this.

When dear friends lost loved ones to Covid-19, I was able to feel their sorrow and do what I could through words, prayers, and actions to help.  It likely didn't help that much, but paying attention to their grief gave me the chance to know that they needed love and friendship more than ever.

Because none of us could really go anywhere, I learned to pay more attention to my everyday surroundings.  I noticed the true sweetness of not just my husband and our pets, and how we all *attended* to each other, but how the world outside, in our garden, or our neighborhood all attended to each other.  The birds sang no matter what, the squirrels chased each other up and down and all around for God knows what reasons.  Geese and sea gulls still flew past, making noise and headed someplace where they felt they needed to go.  Bugs and insects still flew around, to plants, flowers, and into the dirt to do all they things they need to do (even mosquitoes, my archenemies, goddammit!).  I spent more time walking around than ever before, *attending* to more because I wasn't involved in so much else that didn't and shouldn't really matter so much.

I appreciated the nice days when I could get outside for a nice walk.  I despaired of all the rainy days (there were way too many around here, while other places that needed it got none).  I still hated heat and humidity, and still wish(ed) for a decent winter with some snow.  I celebrated my birthday the first weekend of shutdown, and found ways to celebrate everything else as time continued.  

I learned that I disliked certain things and certain people even more than I believed I did.  (I won't go into that here, because a) you probably can guess some things, and b) knowing the others won't change your life for the better.)  I found truth in the feeling I always had that if I could ever retire, I'd be pretty darn content (nice to know, but unlikely to happen anytime, especially anytime soon).  It was frustrating to not be able to just say, "I think I'll go to ____" tomorrow and be able to do it, but it was/is rewarding to know that not only am I not sick from Covid, but that hopefully I didn't contribute to anyone else getting it.  

And don't forget - we voted and got rid of Donald Trump - a true highlight for me!

Don't get me wrong, it will be nice to be able to see my family who are all out-of-town sometime again, or spend a day at the shore in the summer, or even just decide that I'll walk into Center City and meet a friend for lunch.  But I have to be perfectly honest - I'm not sorry that the world slowed down and even if forced, other people had to start "attending."  

To paraphrase one of the songs from the musical "Wicked"

Who can say if I've been changed for the better ... but because this happened ... I have been changed for good.

Congratulate yourself because you made it to today.  Let yourself be sad for the losses, and happy for the good, no matter how small.  Thank whatever/whoever you believe in that 2020 is on its last day, and you are here for it.  Do it today, because when tomorrow comes, this will be the past.

Enjoy your New Year's Eve - drink a toast to this past year, and then look ahead and drink another one to 2021.  We can't know what it will be, but we'll all be there anyway.

12 comments:

Vera said...

Amen! As I said on Val's blog, I'm so tired of everyone dwelling on the bad and ugly of 2020. There was still plenty of good things that happened. I just find it tiresome and foolish to focus on the negative.

Happy New Year Bridget! Looking forward to getting together with you some time in 2021!!

Caffeine Girl said...

I agree with you! My son and daughter moved and started new lives in 2020. I did a lot of artwork in 2020. Our country had an important election, that is surviving anti-democratic pressures.

Sadly, for me 2021 looks grimmer than 2020 due to the pressure from affluent parents to reopen schools without considering community spread, ICU capacity, or any other scientific measures. My district isn't even planning to provide PPE for staff! I don't think 2020 will end for me until June 11, 2021, when I retire!

Nance said...

A very thoughtful post, Bridget, and so true. Most of the restrictions caused by this terrible pandemic have, to me, been inconveniences overall. And for that, I'm grateful. SO grateful! My family are all essential workers, so they did not lose their employment; they have also been strict and careful about COVID protocols, and have been healthy and virus-free thus far.

Many good things happened for me this year: I now have three wonderful grandchildren. Rick got a new job that will save wear and tear on his reconstructed back. My mother turned 90, and although Alzheimer's has tightened its grip, she is still living a good life. There is more, but suffice it to say, having more time to reflect during this year has made me see how full and joyful my life is.

2021 will see us with a more compassionate and sane leadership with President Biden and Vice President Harris. We did a great thing by sending that message loudly and clearly with our votes. Help is on the way.

Happy New Year, my friend. Maybe 2021 will be the year we've been waiting for.

Martha said...

You summed everything up perfectly Bridget. Most of the year wasn't horrible for me personally, it was actually a nice year to just take things slow and appreciate the little things. My husband and I stayed healthy and so did our children, I'm so thankful for that. Voting Trump out made my year! I'll be celebrating the day he is finally out of the white house and our country can finally begin to heal. On the other hand, so many horrible things happened across the world this year, and of course the loss of my sweet little Missy last week has me so sad that I still really want to give 2020 a swift kick on the way out the door!

My word for the year is Hope.

Wishing all the best to you and your family in the coming year!

teabird said...

"Attend" is such a good word.

Ellen D. said...

What a great post! It is important to stay positive and look for the good around us. I am lucky to be here, safe in my home, with family and friends to keep in touch with and lots of blogs to enjoy!
Thanks for your blog and best wishes for a happy, healthy 2021!

KSD said...

Absolutely beautiful, Bridget. As in so many other years, your friendship, humor and wisdom gave me reasons to be happy this year.

Wanderingcatstudio said...

Very well said! Happy New Year!

Araignee said...

There was much not to like about this year but I got a new Grand out of it. I can't see him or hold him yet but he's doing great and for that I am grateful. I think the lesson I learned the hardest this year is that it's not all about me. The world goes right on whether I participate or not. It's weirdly comforting at my age to know my kids will do just fine without me.

Dee said...

What a great post.

I'll be re-reading it when I need to just to remind myself that among the thorns there are roses.

Wishing you all the best in 2021, even if it doesn't look like we hoped it would. We are all resilient and have learned how to make the best of all the changes 2020 brought.

kathy b said...

So many great thoughts on 2020. Yes I am counting the days to the inaugural. Will this nightmare end? I fully expect no miracles, but a concrete plan of action by Joe Biden to move the vaccines along and step towards slowing this spread.

I think my garden got so much attention this year due to not being able to go to the barn . I had echinacea everywhere and Lots of butterflies! I had fun making a garden for my neighbor and am considering doing it again for my neighbor. She is much better now but she enjoyed it so much. we had a dry summer, so it required so much watering. Still, i enjoyed it all.

Happy New Year!

andrea said...

well said!