Though I will admit that things have improved as an adult, I still have a terrible temper. I mean, like a really awful one. And to make things worse, I also have a quick temper. As I've said, it's all gotten better under control as I've grown up/aged/choose-your-own-adjective here. I remember the only time I lost my temper at work - years ago - and for the rest of the day, everyone gave me LOTS of space, as in not coming near me or even making eye contact. On the one hand, I was mortified that I had lost my temper at work, but it do I think made people realize that I actually had a tipping point, so I guess that part was good.
Anyway, I can remember that as a kid, one of my most favorite things to do was to play dominoes with my father. He was really good at it, and my goal was to win a game against him, which was nearly impossible.
Of course, being that I was six years old and he was eleventy-hundred years old (to me), and had played dominoes a lot longer, he knew things like strategy, what to look for based on the tiles the opponent played, etc. This angered me to no end. I knew he wasn't a cheater, but I would still get so incredibly angry when he would win yet again! I remember one time when I was kicking up a particular fuss, my mother said to him, "Why can't you just let her win a few times," and he responded, "Because that isn't fair. You don't always get to win, and you need to learn that. If you can't be a good loser, maybe you don't deserve to win."
Well. I can recall at the time that even my six-year-old infuriated brain knew that he was on to something. I realized that at home, I seldom got my own way, unless I was playing by myself and ordering my toys around. And certainly at school, I wasn't doing just what I wanted to do, I did what the teachers wanted us to do. Revelation!
Going forward after that, my challenge was always to be a good loser - at least on the outside - because frankly, it was just better. For instance, it caused much less drama all the way around. And it also allowed the other person/team to enjoy their victory, which should happen when you are the winner.
So why am I going on about this? Because I wonder why it's OK for some people to be sore losers just because of their amazing talents. Take the case of Tom Brady, the talented football quarterback who has become a living legend. I do not deny that he is talented at what he does, in a way that leaves others in the dust. He has an ability and a longevity that few athletes in any sport can match. And yet, whenever things don't go his way, he is a really sore loser. A few weeks ago, his team lost a game, not even scoring. Every TV station showed him smashing an electronic tablet on the sidelines because he was so angry. He said that it was because he is a "fierce competitor" - so taking that to its logical conclusion, people who don't throw or break things are not competitive enough? This is just one example of his behavior when things don't go his way. Yesterday, his team beat the Eagles (by a lot!) in a playoff game, and I didn't see any of the Eagles pitching fits on the sidelines (spoiler alert: that's for the fans to do, and they weren't playing at home, LOL. It's a joke, people, move on).
And then of course, Novak Djokovic, the tennis player. Again, someone with absolutely amazing physical capability, who has racked up so many victories that he is considered really hard to beat. He refused to be vaccinated against Covid-19, caught the virus but failed to report it, and after a long and wearying fight, was deported from Australia where he had traveled to play in the Australian Open. And yes, there was a lot of back and forth and issues surrounding the whole event, but in the end, he didn't follow the rules and it's his own fault that he was sent home. Yet, he insists that he is the victim. And this is not a single incident of bad behavior - he makes my tantrums as a kid look like they were thrown by Pollyanna herself. But again, he is an "elite athlete," a "true competitor," and somehow that allows his actions to be tolerated a lot of the time.
Of course, I could give you a million other examples in all areas, but these two are the ones currently at the front of my brain. I hope that even six-year-old, terrible-tempered me would see this behavior as inappropriate.
But clearly the two people above, and many others in the world, should have had the experience of playing dominoes against my dad. They'd be different people now.😊