10 June 2011


No matter how much I have tried this past week, I haven't been able to talk myself into feeling better/happy/OK/content/whatever.  It's not that I'm terribly depressed, just sad and in one of those kind of funks where you feel like you could burst into tears at any moment. 

I'm sure the weather is part of it - you probably recall that I am not a hot weather person, and hot weather with humidity added is only insult added to injury for me.  It's supposed to be more pleasant for the next few days, and that can only help.

Another thing is that Ben, Halden, and James (Doughboy's parents and little brother) are moving to Colorado next week.  Ben is from Colorado, and I know he has always wanted to go back if he could.  His parents are there, and although they won't be living in the same town, they won't be as far away, which will be particularly nice for James.  (Halden's mother lives in DC, so she's been lucky enough to be nearby while they were here and in NYC.)  They were lucky enough to find good jobs at the University hospital, and they sold their house here without much of a problem.  Though I will miss them terribly, I am happy for them, and know they will enjoy the change.  I just feel like them moving away adds to my sadness over Doughboy's death - like while they were still close, a true link to him was as well.  They are having a goodbye barbecue next Saturday, and we can't go, because we are going to The Tim's oldest brother's third wedding. 

(If you are keeping score, The Tim's middle brother got married for the third time last June.  Now the eldest brother is marrying #3 this June.  Though at least this one is the first one who is, shall we say, age-appropriate.  Also, our eldest niece on that side of the family, who is 30, will be there with her new [second] husband.  We've met him and like him a lot, so it will be nice to congratulate them.  But seriously, we're missing a farewell barbecue for this???)

I'm getting over my pneumonia, and feel considerably better, but it's still frustrating to not have my usual level of energy back yet.  Not that I'm a ball of fire, but at least I'm usually a step above slug!

All of the above fall into the category that my sister Mary Ellen calls "White Man's Troubles."  And I am EXTREMELY aware that these are by no means the most awful thing that can happen to a person.  But sometimes, you just feel bad anyway, you know?

I am however, determined to feel the best that I can, and I can say that Jetsam and Pip help with that.  I will also use my reading and knitting to move along.  And tomorrow I hope to take my bicycle for a check before much more time goes by.  When the weather is not so extreme, I do love riding my bike, especially along the Schuylkill River Trail.

I'll live.  :-)

Here's to a nice weekend for all of us!

Sunrise, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico


Kim said...

Hey, even if they're "only" White People Troubles, they're STILL troubles. Hang in there.

Kathleen Dames said...

Oh, sweetie, you will live (and the stories you'll have to share from next weekend's wedding? oy!). Sorry you're feeling down. The weather here has been awful, too. Thankfully, I finished the big sweater and am working on smaller projects 'cause it's been disgusting here in NYC this week. A big meow for you, Pip, and Jetsam from me, George, and Henry!

Lisa said...

There is something in the air. Chin up, Bridget!

SissySees said...

You're doing a better job of sounding happy for the movers than I am for Wondervet. Boohoohoo...

She's our vet for pete's sake. Yeah, she's become a friend and we've been through a lot with Sissy, but... I need to get over myself. I do have her cell phone number, so she's not gone for good.

Doesn't make for a gloriously happy June though.

Lorraine said...

Bridget- If you're sad, you're sad. I perk up when the cold weather comes.

Just because Queen Elizabeth lives in Buckingham Palace, it doesn't mean she doesn't have her off days.

Anonymous said...

I am a huge foe of "other people have it worse, so who am I to complain." Yes, first-world problems are nothing compared to third-world problems, but we live in an intense, pressure-cooker world. And sometimes it gets to us.

Personally, I think serial monogamists should get one real wedding and the rest should be quiet, private affairs. I hatehatehate societal/familial pressure to do what you're supposed to do rather than something that will give you actual pleasure/have value. I'm not advocating hedonism, but in this case, the barbeque sounds like the better use of your time.

Not that you asked! :)

Lorette said...

I had to laugh at Lorraine's comment above about QE2.

One other thing to consider, from my medical experience. Even though it was "just" pneumonia, you've survived a very serious illness. A lot of people can take weeks or months to get over the emotional fall out from that. Something like that smacks us right upside the head with the realization that we are indeed mortal. Give yourself some time.

Quilting Mama said...

Glad to hear you are feeling better though it stinks that it is slow going.
I think you should have a "relapse" on Friday and not make the wedding - then head out to see Baby James. He'll help you feel better where the other event probably won't be as much fun.

Lynn said...

Sometimes you just have to feel sad. You have alot going on and you have reason. Yes you will live and that's a good thing!!!! Meanwhile can you go to the wedding and instead of the reception can you go the bbq late?

Carrie#K said...

I think you have plenty of reasons to feel sad, sadly. While it's good to take a look around you and see what blessings you do have, it's not proof against the trouble that life will send you.

Gah. I'd hate to be attending the 3rd wedding too when there was another milestone I'd much rather attend. Families.