Thinking of My Mom Today

Today marks 37 years since my mom died. That's a long time ago, but I still think of her - and often talk to her - every single day. 

I love this picture. She said she was probably about 4 years old here, and that people used to bring ponies around the neighborhood when she was a little girl and parents would have their kids photographed on the ponies. When I was a little kid, I used to think my life was supremely lacking and unfair because no one brought a pony - or any other animal - around the neighborhood for any reason, ever. To be 100 percent perfectly honest, if someone brought a pony or a horse or a donkey, or any other out-of-the-ordinary animal to the neighborhood today, I would want a picture with it - even if, for the animal's sake, I wasn't *on* it. 

WHERE HAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD PONIES GONE???

Anyway, my mother was a lot of fun. After my dad died, and my middle sister finished college and got married and moved away, it was just the two of us for about 10 years. They weren't easy, since we didn't have a lot of money, and she had health issues, but we did have a good time, and I have the best memories of spending time with her. 

This is, I think, her high school graduation photo. It's nice to think of her being so happy and having so much ahead of her, before things that come with adulthood had actually arrived. 

She pretty much always looked like a version of this photo, so I could always recognize her in the bazillion pictures she had from friends and family. 

Though towards the end of her life, when she was probably about a year or so from dying, she had lost a LOT of weight and though she still had all of her hair, it was cut very short so that she didn't have to fool with it much. At the time, she lived with my sister and brother-in-law, and their four kids. She was confined to a wheelchair, so didn't get out as much as she had for all of her life. 

My sister and brother-in-law were invited to a barbecue at a country club where their friends were members during this one particular summer. The friends knew my mother as well, and told my sister to bring her along, since there would be people there that she knew, and it would be a chance for her to get out, etc. So they all got ready and headed to the country club, and for a while at least, things went well. Then a woman who knew my brother-in-law through his work (he is a labor lawyer) came up to talk to him, and he introduced my mother. Well, apparently this woman was one of those types who sees elderly people - particularly those in wheelchairs - as infantile. So she started talking to my mom like she was a little kid - you know, "Oh how ARE you sweetie? Is this fun for you?" And my sister could tell my mom was getting annoyed. 

Then the woman said, "Oh I know who you remind me of - Nancy Reagan!" and my mother responded, "Well that's not good." To which the other woman said, "Oh that's a compliment, I love her and think she is so beautiful." To which my mother said, "Well, then you're a damn fool."

And then they went home. Like, *right* after that. 😂😂😂

That, my friends, is a perfect story about my mother. She could be perfectly nice, and pleasant to anyone and everyone. But she did not suffer fools gladly. When my sister told us about this, none of us were surprised even one small bit. And she had always been like that, it's not something that developed as she got older. 

Yeah, I've got a million stories, and of course she also had a bazillion sayings and expressions, some of which I've shared here. So although I miss her every day and would love for her to be here still (but she'd be over 100 years old, and The Tim said he doesn't think he could take that, LOL), most of my memories are happy ones, or of fun things we did together. She believed that life was to be enjoyed, and as far as I can tell, she enjoyed her life for the most part. 

I know I am like her in a lot of ways, as are my sisters. But there was only one person who was actually her. So raise a glass today and do a "goddam toast" in her honor. 

That is, if you can bear it, since it's "hotter than Billy be damned." 😉

It's All in the Translation

Hi all - first of all, if you usually hear from me, and have not - in response to comments you left on any recent posts - I apologize.  My e-mail has been all wonky again and returned ALL of them to me as undeliverable, and I have no idea why.  It has to be something on their end, because I double-checked all of the addresses.  Sigh.

In any event, I got a charge out the comments people made, and the private e-mail messages I got regarding my Friday Letters post and the term "nebshit."  I tend to forget that it's a regionalism, from Western Pennsylvania and the area where I spent most of my growing up years (Wheeling, WV, about 40 minutes from Pittsburgh).  It describes someone who is always nosing into others' business, aka being "nebby" or a "neb-nose."  Which you probably got from the context.

I will admit that it's one of my fave words, because it so accurately describes the person being talked to or described.  It's also one of the classic words in Western Pennsylvania English (from Wikipedia):

Western Pennsylvania English, known more narrowly as Pittsburgh English or popularly as Pittsburghese, is a dialect of American English native primarily to the western half of Pennsylvania, centered on the city of Pittsburgh, but potentially appearing as far north as Erie County and Limestone, New York (north of Bradford), as far east as Sunbury, Pennsylvania, as far west as Youngstown, Ohio, and as far south as Clarksburg, West Virginia.

One of the things we never said/did (maybe because we moved around a lot, who knows), was call bologna "jumbo" as in, "Would you like a jumbo sandwich for lunch?"  The Tim's sister Kathy went to college in Cleveland, and when she said to her roomate that she was going to fix herself a "jumbo and ketchup sandwich," her roommate said, "That's not elephant meat, RIGHT?"  Which still makes me laugh to this day.  My mother did however, call rubber bands "gumbands." 

I love this kind of thing - regional words and phrases.  "Yinz" is a real fave as well - it's the plural version of "you."  And the Pittsburgh Steelers are often called the "Stillers." 

But my all time fave - maybe because as a kid it was considered the epitome of impolite - is "jagoff."  That's someone who can be a variety of things, a jerk, an a**hole, really stupid, or just annoying. 

I guess you could say that one of the worst things that could happen would be if yinz had a nebshit neighbor, who never shared a jumbo sandwich at a Stillers game - what a jagoff, right???

There's a million of them, everywhere.  And I love finding out about them!  I think it's sad that so many local expressions are being lost, because people move around a lot, or don't want to seem to be/sound uneducated.  I get it, but I also think we lose a lot of what makes it interesting to go from one place to another and meet people.

Words to live by. :-)

Once Again, My Mother Was Right

If you have read my blog for any length of time, you have been subjected to many of my mother's favorite sayings.  One of the ones we would hear most often growing up was "It's either an a** or an elbow with you, isn't it?"  This was said when for instance you just got over a cold and then sprained an ankle, or some combination like that. 

She was right.  

Of course, you all know of my long and varied times of getting over one illness or injury, just to have another show up.  It happens to everyone at one point or another, but in my most self-pitying moments, I feel like it only happens to me.  The day in October that I finally felt like I was truly recovered from pneumonia was the day I feel and broke my wrist.  A**, meet elbow.

At the moment, it's not *exactly* the same, but close enough.  When I fell and broke my wrist, I also broke two front teeth.  One had been previously broken a few years ago when I fell (I guess) and ended up with kidney cancer.  Last month, I was eating yogurt, and the temporary replacement that had been put on the one tooth in October came off.  Since I had maxed out my dental insurance, I was waiting until now for them to be able to do two crowns:  one for the broken tooth, and one for the implant in progress.  The dentist temporarily fixed the tooth, and all was well.  I have an appt this coming Thursday afternoon for the crown over the implant site.

And now that appt will also include temporarily fixing that same tooth, yet again.  Tonight I was eating soup and guess what?  Ugh.  I called to see if they wanted me to come in right away, or wait until Thursday.  (It will get a crown, but they can only do one at a time with my insurance and the implant is overdue.)  Which is fine, but it means that I have to spend a couple of very uncomfortable and self-conscious days until then.  And I have to give a tour on Wednesday at work, which makes it even more annoying.  Plus, the broken tooth keeps catching on my gum and that really hurts!

I know I'm lucky to have dental insurance, and the original crown on the tooth that broke off again would still be in place if I hadn't fallen in October, but really???  I'm so tired of all of this stuff, and I was just starting to feel like I was getting back to normal. 

An a** or an elbow.  Once again, my mother was right.  ;-)