As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I haven't been around much because of: 1) life, and b) being sick. Life, needless to say, goes on as we all know. As for being sick, I had that not-Covid-not-RSV respiratory thing that has been going around, and it was pretty miserable. Having said that, I'm glad it was neither of the "nots" mentioned previously.
Now I have to say that before to those things came along, I had been starting the year pretty well. I had some ideas of what I wanted to do, how I wanted to do it, etc. Nothing in stone, and nothing that couldn't be adjusted or even deleted. But I knew how I wanted to get started at least. That was then.
Right now, my brain is like a plate of scrambled eggs. It looks like it's ready to serve, but nothing is how it started out. I'm in one of those situations where everything has been mixed up, moved around, and thrown in different directions. Where it was somewhat organized, now it's like a junk room where you just throw things in to get them out of the way, but pay no attention to where things actually are. Then one day you go in that room and you wonder what happened, and how it will ever be possible to get things back in order.
My first thoughts - as they are when actually talking about a physical room in such a state - were that there was no way I could get things back the way I wanted them to be. And right now, I'm still trying to wrap my brain around how to even start "cleaning up." But I also know that all I need to do is start on one small thing, and others will follow, even if they look different than they did in the beginning.
But it's all exhausting, you know? I am by nature a fairly organized person. And whenever things get really messy, my first reaction is to retreat and leave it alone, before figuring out what needs to happen. Right now, I'm in that mode, and though I know it's part of my process, I don't enjoy it. But if I ignore this part, it only gets messier, and then I get stressed, and more depressed, and it's an unpleasant spiral.
So my plan for today? Well, it's pretty exciting. I have some laundry to finish (towels, etc.); I want to walk to Target to buy some deodorant (those who spend time around me will thank me); I'll read my book for a while (it's a good one); and I will re-start the first of a sock I cast on yesterday (I thought I had a great idea for the pattern on the leg, but my last thought last night in bed was "Just rip it out and start over, you'll be happier with a plain sock").
I feel like those things will make me feel like I accomplished something (first two activities), and also took some time to enjoy my day (last two activities). And that's a good way to go forward.
What about you? Do you get brain scrambles from time to time, and how do you move forward? I hope you have a way to deal with it that works for you.
The weekend is here, and I'm looking forward to The Tim not having to go to work, even if I have to on Sunday. No special plans, other than a trip to Petsmart tomorrow to get some special treats for Pip's birthday on Valentine's Day. I know The Tim has some spring cleaning projects he is in the midst of finishing, so I'll happily leave him to that, while I do whatever I decide to do.
In any case, I hope your weekend is a good one. I'll check in again next week. Here's a picture of Esme and Alfie, after I inadvertently interrupted their nap yesterday (fortunately, they seem to have forgiven me).