Anticipation and Celebration

December is all about anticipation for me.  Christmastime is my favorite time of the year, and I think part of it is that it's nearly an entire month of happy anticipation, followed by celebration.

A lot of people don't enjoy December, Christmastime, or anything about it. Which is up to them, though it really annoys me when they have to tell you every single time you see them or talk to them.  We all know someone who falls into this category, and we all have to listen to them, regardless of our feelings about things.

It occurred to me today that for a lot of aspects of my life, I have decided for myself the way things are, and I work hard to follow my patterns and beliefs that I have devised.  I am also good at compartmentalizing things.  For instance, when Christmas decorations go up at stores immediately after Halloween, I have no trouble ignoring them altogether.  Because Thanksgiving comes first, and should never be eclipsed by Christmas, as far as my beliefs go, so those way-too-early decorations are compartmentalized in a place where they are completely ignored.  I can then easily enjoy Halloween, anticipate and enjoy Thanksgiving, and only then give any serious attention to Christmastime.

It's all part of my own "rules" and it works for me.  I guess I enjoy holidays so much, that I don't want any of them to be cheated out of their special-ness.

This year, I'm not going to go out of my way to be rude, but I'm going to ignore the  holiday grouches.  They can be miserable, angry, frustrated, or morally superior to their hearts' content, and I am not going to stick around for it.  Life is too short to allow others with no Christmas spirit to decide the atmosphere for everyone.

Christmastime only comes around once a year.  And every bit of it is worth my time.

What Can I Say?

Sometimes I just suck.  Sigh.  Oh well.

Happy [belated] first day of Spring!  Which to be honest, has not been all that different from our alleged Winter here in Philadelphia.  Other than knowing it was officially here, the weather has not been as different as usual, so the first day of Spring just sort of came long.  And then went.

Anyway, I didn't mean to disappear for so long.  But at least I had things going on - a trip to WV to hang out with the family for St. Patrick's Day weekend, enjoying a zeppole for St. Joseph's Day on Monday, and then my last quilting class this past Tuesday.

Our trip was a blast.  And Dug came with us, meaning that as The Tim said, "He expanded his fan base westward."  He was a perfect traveler in the car, and a well-behaved guest at my sister's house.  Of course, he loved all of the extra attention and new smells.  We spent a lot of time just hanging out on the porch, and Dug thought that was pretty great.  The cats stayed home, and I told The Tim that they probably spent the time partying like it was November 2011 ...

My last quilting class was spent adding the binding and then learning how to finish it by hand sewing it, which I hope to do this weekend.  I'm very glad I finally took the class, I enjoyed it, and can see more quilts in my future.  At the moment, I am not feeling as obsessed as I felt when I first learned to knit, so maybe I can be more reasonable with quilting.  Who knows?

I had a couple of days off from work last week before we went away, and I realized that I have missed a lot of things, and that I often suck as a friend.  Even as a cyber-friend.  Both Marji and Kim tagged me in a meme that has been going around, and I missed that altogether.  I have missed several birthdays, anniversaries, and written notes.  Once this knowledge hit me, I tried to figure out what I was doing instead of all the things I feel that I missed or just failed to do.  I was willing to admit that the pneumonia in January threw me off, and until recently, I felt like I was playing catch up.  But I could not think of anything else that kept me from doing things for the past few months.  I'd like to say I was living in the moment, or treasuring the time I spent at home, etc.   But - I.Have.No.Idea.  And it is also not lost on me that this is not that kind, during a year when I have pledged to try and be more kind.

So I am recommitting myself to being more aware of time - my own, the universe's, whatever.  Because time is really all any of us have, and I don't want to fritter the bulk of mine away!  I know from experience that I do need to be conscious of the here and now, because life can change in an instant.

I would therefore like to apologize to anyone I've neglected, or has found me to be incommunicado, or that I seem to have forgotten about.  I can honestly say it was not a conscious decision on my part.

In other news, I do have some pictures to share.  And I promise to do so, if I ever get them out of my camera ... !

International Women's Day

If you have looked at other blogs, Twitter, or Facebook, you know it's International Women's Day.

I just don't know.  Don't get me wrong, I consider myself a true feminist, and I think that A LOT still needs to be done for women everywhere.  But I am also troubled about the whole Motherhood, Sisterhood, and Wonderfulness thing.

For one thing, I get really really really really tired hearing about Mothers As Heroines.  No, I don't have children.  Lots of people do, and good for them.  However, I don't feel that because they gave birth, they are in any way inherently better than anyone else.  Being a mother doesn't automatically make you the answer to all of the world's problems.  I don't envy my mother her experiences putting up with me after my father died, when my older sisters were already on their own.  I was thirteen, and though my mother and I were good friends and got along really well, I am 99% sure that I was a PITA most of the time.  And you know what?  Even though I loved her immensely and miss her terribly every single day, she was no prize either.  True, she was my heroine, but that's about it.  She also drove me as crazy as I drove her.  And I don't think that she cared that she wasn't being held up as The Perfect Mother - she loved us and took care of us, and I'm sure it was just as much because when she got up every day that needed to be done, as it was because she was A Mother.

Also, I am often embarrassed by the Women Are Completely Superior approach to life - you know, the God Men Are Stupid/Useless/Whatever group.  I know plenty of men who fall into that category.  Sadly, I know plenty of women who do as well.  My father, The Tim, my brothers-in-law, my nephew, and my nieces' husbands - they were/are all pretty amazing guys, who tried/try every single day to be decent human beings.  They love their families, they work hard, and they count on being able to laugh and enjoy their lives at least every once in a while.   I can think of plenty of men AND women who are great, funny, smart people that I always enjoy being around.

And oh my holy God - Sisterhood!  Don't get me started.  I would do anything for my actual sisters, friends, and some other females that I know.  I hope that they would say the same about me.  I try to encourage people to support equal rights for women, and to fight for justice for women here in the U.S. and also abroad.  I would LOVE to live in a world where women didn't have to be baby-machines, sex slaves, or servants to anyone.  Where any accomplishments, educational opportunities, or personal decisions were not dismissed or "corrected" by others (male or otherwise).  So you might think I have a strong sense of Sisterhood.  But I don't.  I am a person who will work with any group for anything I believe in, but that doesn't mean I am just like them, and want to be like them.  Particularly when I had cancer, I was expected to become part of the Sisterhood - of patients, survivors, advocates for care, whatever.   And when I would not immediately respond "Oh that's great, count me in!," people were taken aback.

I'm reading this post, and I fear that it sounds a) negative, b) anti-female, and c) preachy.  If you have read this far, please let me tell you that I don't mean it to sound like any of those things - particularly the last two (I know myself well enough to know that I can often seem negative even when I don't think I do).  I'm just trying to say that International Women's Day should be a day when we can celebrate the accomplishments of all women - those who we know made a difference in the world, and those who get up every day and live their lives because they don't have the luxury of a lot of other choices.  Plenty of well-known women weren't nice people. But every woman is just as important as every man and/or child. Because every person is important.

We are fortunate to have this day that asks/reminds us to think about women and their lives.  But it also reminds me of when I was a little kid, and would complain about Mother's Day and Father's Day, and adults would say "That's because every day is 'Children's Day'," which is of course a crock.  Every day should be everyone's day.  No matter where they are or who they are.  And it will take women AND men to accomplish that.  Every. Day.