How Easily I Forget

It's the time of year when "Year in Review" things are everywhere, and just like every year when they do them, I realize how much I forgot even happened at all; or someone will have died, and I'll remember thinking they had already been dead for years.  Does that happen to you?

I mean, not all of it is worth making the effort to remember, but there are some things that were SO big when they happened, and I at least apparently moved right on.

Case in point:

I remembered the inauguration and the insurrection, but until someone posted this photo, I forgot all about Bernie Sanders and his mittens:

(Source: New York Times)

And then remember how people were so anxious to knit a pair?  I mean, that was all pretty popular at the time.  Left my brain completely.

And this - completely forgot that it happened this past year - the ship stuck in the Suez Canal:

(Source: New York Times)

When it was happening, I found it weirdly fascinating, and wondered how they would be able to get it to move so they could get it out of the way.  Now it feels like it happened 20 years ago.

Rush Limbaugh died.  I forgot all about that, but was pleased to realize it again when reminded.  Same with anything Kardashian-adjacent (divorces, show cancellations) that happened that I had to hear about even when I didn't try.

Bill Cosby was let out of prison. Ugh.

On the plus side, a vaccine for Covid-19 was approved and available, but of course some people didn't get it due to their "freedoms" and so we are still in the pandemic.  Ugh.  But seriously, I forgot that at this time in 2020, we were all still hoping it would be a reality (the vaccine, not the stupidity).

Remember the approximately 2-week period when we were told that things were under control enough that we didn't have to constantly wear masks, even outside?  Again, I would have sworn that was 20 years ago.

Time is weird.  Fascinating, but weird.  Who knows what I'll have forgotten about by this time next year??

Some "Aha!" Moments

Hi all - I thought I'd write a quick post before taking Hamlet out for a walk.  Happily, the sun is out today, so we will not have to slog through puddles and downpours.

Yesterday afternoon, I was finishing a project, and realized something that was an "Aha!" moment - so of course I had to go beyond that and consider other things, and had some interesting realizations about myself.

1.  I am a worrier and I panic easily - but apparently, not about big things.  Unlike most people I know, the idea that I could possibly get sick with COVID-19 has not been an obsession.  I realize I'm in a group that has a more likely chance, but I'm doing what I can to avoid it, so I'm neither worried nor panicked over that.  Rather, I'm worried/panicked - as usual - over what most people would consider small or insignificant things, or even better, things that have not, nor may ever happen (that last one is a lifelong superpower, btw).

2.  I realized that by not having to go to work and be around my co-workers all day every day that a) I have been sleeping really well at night, b) I have not been stress eating, and c) I have not had a feeling of dread following me around all of the time.  This must be what it's like to have a better work environment or be retired.  (Note: I did find a project to work on from home for at least a few hours a day, so now I don't have to use up all of my leave time and/or not get paid. YAY!)

3.  I have been getting a lot more done.  Not just on my previously mentioned project, but on other things around home as well.  See: no feeling of dread - I had not realized how that was exhausting me.

4.  Someone from our craft group at work e-mailed me to ask if we could do a craft-together this coming Friday, since one was originally scheduled for that day.  I realized that since we have a work account with Zoom, we could do it, and got it set up for Friday at lunchtime.  The funniest thing is that nearly every person has responded that they will "attend," and I'm guessing a lot of it is because no one will be commenting something like, "Oh I can't usually take a lunch break, I'm so busy."  One woman wrote back and thanked me because "I need this SO much - spending so much time with my husband will surely be the end of our marriage!"  That just cracked me up!  I realized that it will be fun to have those interactions with others at my workplace.

5.  I realized that it was easy to set up a system to automatically dump the junk mail that we receive without having to handle it several times.  The Tim gets really annoyed when I bring in the mail and automatically put the junk mail in the recycling - he wants to see whatever we got, even if it's not something he would ever care about or that applies to him.  So now I bring the mail in, and he has 24 hours to peruse things.  If he does, then anything not wanted goes straight to the recycling bin.  If he does not, I add it to the teetering pile of things next to the chair where he usually sits.  Then at some point, it will either fall over, or start to actually bug him, he'll sort through everything, and then HE has to deal with it.  Perfect?  No.  But much less annoying for me.

Some of these were not necessarily life-changing revelations, nor were they complete news to me, but still revelatory in their own way.

Have you had any "Aha!" moments recently?

Thinking

The past week has been one of those where I have done just too much thinking - not that thinking is bad, but I get into these spells of thinking too hard and too long over things, and I drive myself insane!  These are not things like, "Can I pay the bills?" or "What should I fix for dinner?"

Instead, I think about when/where/how I will die.

Or what will happen to my pets in that event.

Will I die first?

Why do people - myself included - judge others so easily?

Have I done anything worthwhile for anyone while I've been on this earth?

What could I have done?

What can I do?

Why don't we have any chocolate in the house?

Does God really exist?  (I think so, for what that is worth.)

And on and on and on.  Big things, small things, unanswerable things.  Some things that are entirely too self-absorbed.

Does anyone else have times like this?  I think I deal with them well, but in my case, I also find it exhausting.

Then this week, I seem to have caught the cold that The Tim had last week.

I tell you, it's like my mother used to say, "It's either an a** or an elbow with you, isn't it?"

Have a good week - and try not to do more any more thinking than you have to!  :-)

Christmastime Traditions

It's time for Ten on Tuesday again, and this week the topic is:

10  Cultural Traditions You Observe For the Holidays

My background - as you may have guessed - is Irish American, and when my grandparents came here, the idea at the time was to become as American as possible, so you didn't "stick out."  Especially if you were Irish, which was not considered a good thing.  As a result, a lot of the Irish traditions were put aside, so that they could celebrate American Christmas.

However, in the spirit of things, Carole has said that if we do not have a lot of ethnic traditions of our own, we should list 10 Traditions You Observe For The Holidays.  That is what I am going to do, listing a mishmash of family traditions, as well as ones that The Tim and I have created for our own little family.

1.  The definition of Christmastime.  We observe Christmastime beginning December 1 through January 6.  This is something that I have done since childhood.  My mother's birthday was December 2, so we didn't put up any decorations until after that, but we could play Christmas music starting December 1.  And the last day of Christmastime is January 6, the Epiphany, when the Wise Men arrived at the manger.  Decorations never even think of being put away before then.

2.  Christmas Eve.  This has always been a big deal in my family.  It's kind of the ultimate day of anticipation and preparation.  The Tim usually has to work on Christmas Eve, and doesn't usually get home until 7:00 pm or so.  I spend the day doing any last-minute preparations around the house, and making our dinner for that evening, Christmas Eve risotto.  If it's not pouring rain, I like to go out for a little while and walk around enjoying the hustle and bustle.  Once he gets home, we have our dinner, then put on our pjs and watch "It's a Wonderful Life," while having a gin and tonic, then put the gifts under the tree, fill the stockings, and sit in the dark by just the Christmas tree lights until it's time to go to bed.

3.  Christmas Eve Risotto.  A few years back, The Tim found the recipe, and we always have it on Christmas Eve because it has broccoli rabe and red peppers in it - thus red and green!

4.  Baby Jesus gets placed into the manger.  At midnight, our baby Jesus gets placed into the manger, after all of us kiss him and say "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus."

5.  "It's a Wonderful Life."  This must be watched on Christmas Eve, while having a gin and tonic, and you must be wearing your pajamas.

6.  "The Night Before Christmas" - we always read this aloud on Christmas Eve.

7.  Turnips and holly.  At least one turnip hollowed out to hold a lit candle, and with a sprig of holly next to it must be in one window of the house, so that the Holy Family will know where to stop if they need shelter.  (And don't worry, the candle does not stay lit after we go to bed!)

8.  A too-small dish for the cranberry sauce at Christmas dinner.  This goes for Thanksgiving too, but the cranberry sauce for dinner must be in a dish that is too small.  This is something that we always did growing up, and I found out as an adult that it was just because when my parents were first married, they didn't have a dish large enough for the cranberry sauce!

9.  Holiday cheeseball.  As long as I can remember, my mother would make holiday cheeseball, and for whatever reason, it should only be made between December 22 and 24.  (I have a feeling that this is a case of when she would finally get to it, but I still do it then.)

10.  Kielbasa.  My father's sister married a man from Poland, and they always had a big party on Christmas Eve, which was also my aunt's birthday.  They always had kielbasa, so my father would always fix some for us at our house as well.  Now we make vegetarian kielbasa at Christmastime.  (I will admit that "real" kielbasa is the only meat I actually ever miss, and only at Christmastime ...)

There are other things we do, and that I have always done, but these are the things that came to mind first.  As I said, some are family things, and some we have created ourselves.  They make the whole Christmastime experience better, if you ask me!

Things I Don't Understand

Not all of them, of course, but there are so many all at once over the last few weeks, I'm hoping to get them out of my brain  ...

1.  Why, after writing about starting new projects when there are so many unfinished, I have not knit a stitch in over a week?

2.  Why anyone could possibly care about Olympic gymnastics champion Gabby Douglas' hair, when she has accomplished something that not even 10% of all humankind will even come close to doing?

3.  Why people like hot and humid weather?  I was dismayed at the wimpy winter we had (I know other parts of the country had a terrible winter, though), but then the summer came along with a vengeance.  Oh well, who needs to breathe, right?

4.  What is the deal with guns?  I don't think anyone should have a gun (well, OK I guess if you have an army you need to have guns), much less several.  And NO ONE needs assault weapons if you ask me.  I know this is not always a popular opinion, but if anyone reading this is offended, I am expressing my own opinion.  Whereas, I would like everyone to think like I do, I am not so naive as to think they do.

5.  Why people have to kill other people because they are different?  I am not by any stretch of the imagination the world's most noble, perfectly tolerant person.  But I learned that from a very early age that a) not everyone was just like me, and b) if they were not, and I didn't like it, that was my problem, and c) if I felt it was just so terrible as to be unbearable, I should stay away from them, move, or anything other than even think of harming them.  My parents were not necessarily enlightened, they were however, quite practical, and did not suffer fools gladly.  (In which case, Apple meet Tree ...)

6.  Why it's considered so weird/unnatural/selfish/fill-in-the-blank not to want to have children?  The world has plenty of people, and isn't it actually better not to have children if you don't want them, than to have them because it's the societal norm?

7.  Why the assumption is that if you don't want children, you will want to hurt them?  Plenty of people who have children they wanted do that, thank you very much.

8.  Why it is OK to answer a call on your cell phone while either talking to someone else in person, or ordering your food and drink while others are behind you in line?

9.  Why people who have been waiting to check out of the grocery store or for the bus for more than 5 minutes suddenly have to rifle through their purses/bags/pockets for the money or tokens to pay?  Really?  Did they think that somehow, it would be free??

10.  Why it is a bad thing in America to be smart?  If you show any intelligence at all - about anything - you are suddenly a snob, or elitist, or live in an ivory tower.  Which always amuses me, because you don't need to be smart at all to fall into those categories.  And yet, smart people are apologetic, as if it's a failing.  Don't we want smart people to be doing things, leading us, making discoveries?  Stupid people do plenty every single day, and some of them are famous for it.

OK, I'll shut up and move on with my life.  I do, however, feel a little better now that I've gotten that off my chest.

Which reminds me ... oh never mind. :-)

What Can I Say?

Sometimes I just suck.  Sigh.  Oh well.

Happy [belated] first day of Spring!  Which to be honest, has not been all that different from our alleged Winter here in Philadelphia.  Other than knowing it was officially here, the weather has not been as different as usual, so the first day of Spring just sort of came long.  And then went.

Anyway, I didn't mean to disappear for so long.  But at least I had things going on - a trip to WV to hang out with the family for St. Patrick's Day weekend, enjoying a zeppole for St. Joseph's Day on Monday, and then my last quilting class this past Tuesday.

Our trip was a blast.  And Dug came with us, meaning that as The Tim said, "He expanded his fan base westward."  He was a perfect traveler in the car, and a well-behaved guest at my sister's house.  Of course, he loved all of the extra attention and new smells.  We spent a lot of time just hanging out on the porch, and Dug thought that was pretty great.  The cats stayed home, and I told The Tim that they probably spent the time partying like it was November 2011 ...

My last quilting class was spent adding the binding and then learning how to finish it by hand sewing it, which I hope to do this weekend.  I'm very glad I finally took the class, I enjoyed it, and can see more quilts in my future.  At the moment, I am not feeling as obsessed as I felt when I first learned to knit, so maybe I can be more reasonable with quilting.  Who knows?

I had a couple of days off from work last week before we went away, and I realized that I have missed a lot of things, and that I often suck as a friend.  Even as a cyber-friend.  Both Marji and Kim tagged me in a meme that has been going around, and I missed that altogether.  I have missed several birthdays, anniversaries, and written notes.  Once this knowledge hit me, I tried to figure out what I was doing instead of all the things I feel that I missed or just failed to do.  I was willing to admit that the pneumonia in January threw me off, and until recently, I felt like I was playing catch up.  But I could not think of anything else that kept me from doing things for the past few months.  I'd like to say I was living in the moment, or treasuring the time I spent at home, etc.   But - I.Have.No.Idea.  And it is also not lost on me that this is not that kind, during a year when I have pledged to try and be more kind.

So I am recommitting myself to being more aware of time - my own, the universe's, whatever.  Because time is really all any of us have, and I don't want to fritter the bulk of mine away!  I know from experience that I do need to be conscious of the here and now, because life can change in an instant.

I would therefore like to apologize to anyone I've neglected, or has found me to be incommunicado, or that I seem to have forgotten about.  I can honestly say it was not a conscious decision on my part.

In other news, I do have some pictures to share.  And I promise to do so, if I ever get them out of my camera ... !

Will Power (not)

At the beginning of the year, as I was thinking of all the wonderful and magnificent ways I would become a better, more organized, kinder, and all around more wonderful person, I said to myself, "Well, Self, you really do have plenty of yarn here.  So why not decide to not buy more yarn unless you TRULY need a type of yarn you don't have for some special project?"  Self replied, "Oh Self, I think that's such a good idea.  I shall try it."  Myself was then quite pleased with itself.

Then I got an e-mail about the Rockin' Sock Club.  I had no desire to sign up (been there, done that, enjoyed it), and even if it had been my fondest wish, could not afford the price anyway.  But then I thought, "Well, I wonder what else it out there.  It's fun to get packages in the mail, and try new yarns."  So I Googled around, and came across the Mad About Tosh Club, from Twisted in Portland, Oregon.  I have limited experience with Madelinetosh yarns, but I know that they are pretty, soft, and have colors that appeal to me (even the ones I don't really like I think are beautiful). It was an every-other-month deal, and for what it was, the cost was reasonable (meaning I had some money left after buying Christmas gifts), so I decided that I would join.  My reasoning was that a) I could afford it, b) the package in the mail every other month would be nice, since I wasn't buying other yarn, c) I would only have six more skeins by the end of the year, and d) I am weak.

The first package arrived in the mail last week, and I was more than pleased with installment one:

Now you have to admit that it's mighty pretty!  (Even my questionable photography skills don't make it look bad ...)  It was accompanied by a pattern for a really lovely shawlette that just looked like springtime to me.  I hope to get it started before too long, because it would be nice to have it once Spring arrives.  I was determined to finish the one remaining Christmas gift that I was knitting before I started, though, and I finished that last night.  (But that will be a whole 'nother post.)  So maybe this weekend - which is a three-day weekend, as the library is closed on Monday for Presidents' Day - I can start!  Granted, a glance at the pattern shows some Wrap & Turn stitches (my nemesis), but I'm gonna try and get it figured out as best I can.

So to review:

• I talk to and respond to myself a lot;
• I make lots of grand plans;
• I have no actual follow-through when/if something new and shiny shows up;
• I hate W&T;
• I finished knitting the last gift for Christmas 2011;
• I have an upcoming three-day weekend.

Maybe my will power leaves something to be desired, but at least I have self-awareness ...