The Holiday Weekend Beckons

It surprised me the other day when I realized that the Memorial Day weekend was upon us (at least for those of us in the U.S.)!  Usually today would be a busy day for me, finishing up at work since I would be taking Friday off, and then making sure that the pet sitter was lined up, packing was done, etc.  The flurry and sometimes panic of an upcoming weekend away, you know? 

But here we are anyway, with a big holiday weekend and no where to go.  Since today is Three on Thursday, I thought I'd share three things we usually do and three things we'll be doing instead this year.

For those who don't really know what I'm talking about, usually every Memorial Day weekend, we go to my sister's house in WV, where most of the family and tons of friends gather on one of the days for a big picnic.  It's one of the highlights of the year for everyone, and kicks off summer in a great way (even to me, not a summer fan).

1.  Usually - we spend the couple of weeks prior to our weekend away collecting things we want to take with us (games, gifts, etc.) or, in the day or so before we would leave, baking cookies or some other treat to take along.

Instead - we have been deciding what we want to fix for ourselves, and if we want our "holiday" meal to be on the holiday itself (Monday) or one of the other weekend days.  Not nearly as much fun, or quite as anticipatory.

2.  Usually - we decide ahead of time which friends we would like to be sure to see while we're home and see if they will be at the picnic or if we'll get together separately, or both.  A lot of people are only around one of the days of the weekend since they have other plans, so we have to try and get a chance to see them when it works for their schedule.  We also decide what games we want to play at the picnic, and choose teams if appropriate (I still get chosen last.  Some things never change!).

Instead - we have planned a "party" Zoom meeting on Sunday afternoon with most of the family.  This way, at least we'll get to see the ones we most want to see and catch up a bit.

3.  Usually - the menu includes so much variety, that you can easily spend the day trying everything there and not try it all.  Everyone brings something, and all the family provides the basics.  Even if you are a vegetarian as we are, there is an enormous choice of goodies.  Hamlet, and Dug before him, think it's the best day of their lives because everyone is giving them food!  Both of them have been known to park themselves in one place for most of the day - next to the grill!  We also spend a large portion on the morning of the picnic decorating the yard and setting things up.

Instead - the choices will be much more limited, Hamlet will get a *doggie* treat, and we'll just eat in our own garden, ourselves.  That's already set up.

So, it will be a nice weekend anyway.  But a whole lot quieter, a whole lot calmer, and not quite as funny or noisy or silly. 

On the plus side - DEFINITELY not as much clean-up. 

Though I'd trade for that happily at this point.  😊

My niece Amanda sent me this photo yesterday, which is appropriate for today's post.  Here is our sweet Dug the Doodle Dog, taking a break after "helping" us get my sister's yard ready and decorated the day of the big picnic.  I love this photo so much, I decided to share.

Whatever you do, have a good holiday weekend - or regular weekend, for those of you elsewhere - and stay safe!

Adaptable Traditions

Today I'm taking another turn contributing a post to sprite's Virtual Advent Tour.  Before saying anything else, I have to tell you that it has been so great to read everyone's posts this year.  I hope she will consider hosting again next year.

Part of what makes the whole thing so interesting is finding out how people "do" holidays.  To some degree, it's all variations on a central theme, but I don't think anyone celebrates holidays *exactly* like anyone else.

Now as anyone who knows me knows, I truly love Christmastime.  All of it.  I like making/buying gifts for others.  I like wrapping gifts.  I like baking goodies.  And I love decorating.  Just to name a few things ...

Years ago, I remember reading an article in the newspaper written by a family therapist, and she said that most of the couples who come to her had issues with two topics:  Money and holiday traditions. I read that part out loud to The Tim, and then said, "Fortunately, we agree on money issues, and we've never argued about how to celebrate holidays."  And he responded, "That's because we've always done it your way."

The short version of the discussion that followed was that first and foremost, he was giving me a hard time, and secondly, there were very few traditions that seemed overly important to his family, so he was more than happy to adjust to how I wanted to do things.

Which is lovely, and we have had wonderful holidays throughout our marriage.  And I realize that I do take it all more to heart than he does.  Everyone teases me, for instance, about my "Christmas Rules" (many of them), which of course I feel everyone should follow.  Intellectually, I accept that everyone does things their own way, and should be able to do just that; emotionally, I am convinced they should follow my example ... ;-)

Having said that, we have adjusted some of our traditions as well as created new ones over the years.  Originally, we both used to have jobs where we could either take the week between Christmas and New Year's off, or could take the time off without any problem.  So we would travel to be with our families.  It was always fun, and there are so many happy memories from those times.

Once The Tim started working in retail, not only did we no longer travel at Christmastime, but we had to adjust to the fact that he couldn't take any time off, and was also required to work six days a week during December instead of only five.  Trust me, that took some adjustment!  But now it's the usual, and though I would love to be able to see more people and do more things at holiday time, we still have the best time ever.

Traditions are open to interpretation, is what I'm saying.  So if there are any of you struggling because you can't do things this year the way you have always done them before, remember that the holidays are supposed to be fun.  And no one can have fun if all they can think about is what they are missing.

Homemade Noodles

This post is actually related to two things I participate in:

Carole and Kat's Think Write Thursday, and Sprite's Virtual Advent Tour.  And as it so happened, both asked us to write about our favorite holiday tradition.  I have thought long and hard about this, and I cannot choose just one, or even decide if it's more favorite than another.  Instead, I've decided to write about something *related* to a holiday tradition in my family.

Our big Christmas meal was always on Christmas Eve.  This was largely because my parents were incredibly social, so Christmas Day, after church, we'd be lucky if we ever got near a meal, between people stopping to visit us, and us visiting others.  So about the time I was 8 years old, my parents decreed that our big family meal would be on Christmas Eve.

Something to keep in mind is that it was seldom ever just our immediate family.  There were always extra people, friends of my parents who might not have anywhere to be, friends of my sisters who weren't going home for Christmas, orphans from the orphanage where my great-aunt (one of the nuns previously written about) who had no where to go, and I don't know ... just others.

Also, my parents tended to go all out at Christmas.  We were relatively poor, but they would take money out of their savings, and use credit for Christmas - both for foods and for gifts.

So that's the background.

One year, my father realized that his Uncle Bill and Aunt Viola would be alone at Christmas for the first time, as both of their adult daughters had found jobs in California and wouldn't be able to travel home.  They didn't make plans to go to California, because according to my father, Uncle Bill was "so cheap he would not pay a nickel to see Christ jump off the cross."  (Yeah, I know.)  So my parents decided to invite them for Christmas Eve dinner.  When my mother called to invite them, she told Aunt Viola to feel free to bring anything that was something they generally had for Christmas dinner, and it would be included.  Aunt Viola said that she would bring homemade noodles, because they were "Bill Arthurs' favorite."*

Aunt Viola was a good cook (or, as my father said, "Does it just seem that way because you never get enough to eat at their house?"), and the idea of homemade noodles was exciting to all of us, particularly since my mother never really made homemade anything.  So we were all looking forward to trying them.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve dinner.  Everyone is there, and the table is COVERED with food of all kinds.  There's talking, laughing, drinking, eating, and at some point during the meal, Aunt Viola asked my mother about the noodles.  My mother responded in a surprised and contrite fashion, saying that with all the people and all the food, she forgot to fix them.  Disappointing to be sure, but it's not like anyone was going to go away hungry.

Only after every single person but our immediate family had gone, did we learn the truth.  Aunt Viola arrived with a small baggie of homemade noodles - enough for a serving for Uncle Bill!  My parents said there was no way in the world (well, they said it more colorfully) that they were going to cook a single serving of something for one person.  My father claimed this was further proof of their cheapness.  My mother pointed out to us that, "Well, it *is* your father's family."**

So we never did get the homemade noodles.  But to this day, whenever we eat our Christmas meal, I think about those homemade noodles, which have become holiday legend in our family.  We'll sit down to eat, and even The Tim will say, "Oh, I forgot to cook the homemade noodles!"

The Tim and I have a tradition of a special Christmas Eve meal, and then a special Christmas Day meal.

But sadly, neither includes homemade noodles in any amount ...


*Our last name was Arthur.  However, Aunt Viola always referred to Uncle Bill as "Bill Arthurs."

**My mother was from a small family, and had cousins rather than siblings.  So she enjoyed pointing out to us the failings of my father's family.  :-)


P.S. If you want to sign up for the Virtual Advent Tour, go here.   It's fun and there are still some slots left!

Turkey Tendon Redux

When I first started this blog (which now seems like a long time ago!), I shared a story about a particular Thanksgiving tradition in my family.  To this day, when I tell people the story, they are a) puzzled, b) amused, and c) confused.

In the last few days, I've been reading other blogs and a lot of people are writing about how they are getting ready for the big day.  So here is a version of the previously mentioned story, one of Thanksgivings Past, when one of the biggest highlights occurred the night before.  Now that I am a vegetarian, I don't miss having turkey, but I do kinda miss pulling turkey tendons ...

******

When I first moved to Philadelphia, a notice in the Food Section of the Philadelphia Inquirer caught my eye. They asked readers to submit a brief story about unique family Thanksgiving traditions. Three stories would be published on the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I knew I had something truly unique to send them.

My father, who grew up on a poultry farm, was the family expert on Thanksgiving turkey. The night before Thanksgiving was always a big night. After cleaning the turkey, it was time for the event of the year: tendon pulling! According to my father, if you pulled the tendons out of drumsticks before cooking, it made them easier to eat. We got the pliers out, and everyone got ready to take their turn. At the end of the drumsticks, there are often small holes, with pinkish-white tips sticking out. Those are the tendons. You take the pliers, hold the drumstick tightly, and try to pull the tendons out. It’s fun for the entire family!

I have never met anyone else who even knew about turkey tendon pulling, so I decided this story would be a perfect candidate for the “unique” Thanksgiving tradition the Inquirer was seeking. I figured if my story wasn’t chosen, the others that were published would have to be really unusual. So imagine my extreme dismay when I opened the Food Section on the Sunday before Thanksgiving and read the winning entries.

Story #1: A woman whose mother had been in the hospital on Thanksgiving had taken a complete dinner to her so they could have their holiday meal together. Her mother died shortly afterwards. Every year, she continues to take an entire meal to that hospital for any of the nursing staff that has to work on the holiday.

Story #2: A couple who were in the military and stationed in Germany one Thanksgiving invited their German neighbors to celebrate with them.

Story #3 (supposedly the best) was about a woman whose son had the flu one year during the week of Thanksgiving. The night before, to cheer him up, they had baked special pumpkin cookies together. Even though the boy was now 20-something, he still made sure he could be home the night before Thanksgiving to bake cookies with his mother.

These stories are heartwarming, feel-good stories; they may reflect lovely traditions. But am I the only one who doesn’t find them unique? The Tim suggested that maybe the Inquirer didn’t think my story was true, being "weirdly unusual."  Now really, could I have invented something that good? Maybe it was too unique for the Inquirer; they probably felt it would be more appropriate for the New York Post; right under a headline like “Family of Five Fancies Festive Fowl Fun!”

*****

My memories of turkey tendon pulling are happy and fun ones.  Yes, it was gross, but we were all so focused, that was secondary.  I think that even if I *could* do it today, I would be completely grossed out, so it's probably better if it remains in my memory ... :-)


NaBloPoMo Day #23

Christmastime Traditions

It's time for Ten on Tuesday again, and this week the topic is:

10  Cultural Traditions You Observe For the Holidays

My background - as you may have guessed - is Irish American, and when my grandparents came here, the idea at the time was to become as American as possible, so you didn't "stick out."  Especially if you were Irish, which was not considered a good thing.  As a result, a lot of the Irish traditions were put aside, so that they could celebrate American Christmas.

However, in the spirit of things, Carole has said that if we do not have a lot of ethnic traditions of our own, we should list 10 Traditions You Observe For The Holidays.  That is what I am going to do, listing a mishmash of family traditions, as well as ones that The Tim and I have created for our own little family.

1.  The definition of Christmastime.  We observe Christmastime beginning December 1 through January 6.  This is something that I have done since childhood.  My mother's birthday was December 2, so we didn't put up any decorations until after that, but we could play Christmas music starting December 1.  And the last day of Christmastime is January 6, the Epiphany, when the Wise Men arrived at the manger.  Decorations never even think of being put away before then.

2.  Christmas Eve.  This has always been a big deal in my family.  It's kind of the ultimate day of anticipation and preparation.  The Tim usually has to work on Christmas Eve, and doesn't usually get home until 7:00 pm or so.  I spend the day doing any last-minute preparations around the house, and making our dinner for that evening, Christmas Eve risotto.  If it's not pouring rain, I like to go out for a little while and walk around enjoying the hustle and bustle.  Once he gets home, we have our dinner, then put on our pjs and watch "It's a Wonderful Life," while having a gin and tonic, then put the gifts under the tree, fill the stockings, and sit in the dark by just the Christmas tree lights until it's time to go to bed.

3.  Christmas Eve Risotto.  A few years back, The Tim found the recipe, and we always have it on Christmas Eve because it has broccoli rabe and red peppers in it - thus red and green!

4.  Baby Jesus gets placed into the manger.  At midnight, our baby Jesus gets placed into the manger, after all of us kiss him and say "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus."

5.  "It's a Wonderful Life."  This must be watched on Christmas Eve, while having a gin and tonic, and you must be wearing your pajamas.

6.  "The Night Before Christmas" - we always read this aloud on Christmas Eve.

7.  Turnips and holly.  At least one turnip hollowed out to hold a lit candle, and with a sprig of holly next to it must be in one window of the house, so that the Holy Family will know where to stop if they need shelter.  (And don't worry, the candle does not stay lit after we go to bed!)

8.  A too-small dish for the cranberry sauce at Christmas dinner.  This goes for Thanksgiving too, but the cranberry sauce for dinner must be in a dish that is too small.  This is something that we always did growing up, and I found out as an adult that it was just because when my parents were first married, they didn't have a dish large enough for the cranberry sauce!

9.  Holiday cheeseball.  As long as I can remember, my mother would make holiday cheeseball, and for whatever reason, it should only be made between December 22 and 24.  (I have a feeling that this is a case of when she would finally get to it, but I still do it then.)

10.  Kielbasa.  My father's sister married a man from Poland, and they always had a big party on Christmas Eve, which was also my aunt's birthday.  They always had kielbasa, so my father would always fix some for us at our house as well.  Now we make vegetarian kielbasa at Christmastime.  (I will admit that "real" kielbasa is the only meat I actually ever miss, and only at Christmastime ...)

There are other things we do, and that I have always done, but these are the things that came to mind first.  As I said, some are family things, and some we have created ourselves.  They make the whole Christmastime experience better, if you ask me!