In My Next Life ...

1. Who are these people?

2. Where are they, and why do they look so content?

3. They are all white - so ... where is this, geographically?

4. Am I the only one who thinks the female patient almost looks like Carmen Miranda, with that plant above her head, looking almost like a hat??

5. Spoiler alert - the person who made this illustration has likely never visited a doctor's office or medical waiting room.

I had an appointment yesterday for my annual mammogram and a breast ultrasound. My appointment for the mammogram was for 9:30 a.m., and the ultrasound was at 10 a.m. I arrived as instructed by 9:15. I got home at 2:30 p.m.

My appointment was in a brand, spanking new, high-end, all-the-bells-and-whistles new building. Previously, I had gone to another building about a block away, and though it was likely about 40 years old, it wasn't an awful place to wait and/or have the appointments. So I was curious to see how the new place was so much better and more wonderful.

By the time I left, I decided that I should become a "patient consultant" to places building new and "better" facilities. Because this one had lots of issues.

Aesthetically, it is fine - new and "modern" looking, but not in an overly offensive way. No one would mistake it for anything other than a 2000s medical building, at least here in the U.S.

You enter into a glass-enclosed atrium. There are upholstered chairs placed in different areas of the lobby, along with the requisite large potted plants. And as you look around, there are kiosks situated along part of one wall, and tucked wayyyyy into a corner is a very small desk console with "Information Desk" on it in barely visible signage. There are three different elevator banks, again with barely visible signage, telling you what elevators go to what floors.

The kiosks are apparently where you initially "check-in." My instructions said to bypass those and head directly to the 4th floor. I was grateful for that, because I could tell that many people trying to use the kiosks (some quite elderly, and some for whom clearly English was not their first language) were having troubles, and there were lines behind them of 4-5 people each, which I'm sure didn't help.

I got to the 4th floor, and for the first time saw a decent sign telling me where to go. However, once there, it was unclear if someone worked there to check you in. I did find that person, behind a screen, and got checked in. 

After waiting a while, my name was called and I was directed to the Changing Room to change into the hospital gown for said procedures. The "lockers" provided to store your clothes, etc., were the size of a cubby at a pre-school. So you were supposed to put your winter coat AND your clothes in there. The person directing me said to bring my purse and any valuables with me, because the locking systems on said lockers didn't work. She vaguely pointed down the hall to the waiting room. And the hospital gown was in fact not a gown, but a cape - I spent an inordinate amount of time looking for something resembling a sleeve until I figured THAT out!

The waiting room as a) tiny, and b) had couches. Only. No individual chairs. Now I don't know about you, but I don't really enjoy sitting on couches with people I dont' know. Plus, couches encourage people to spread themselves and their belongings out, and there was a lot of woman-spreading happening. There was absolutely nothing else in the waiting room - not even a fake plant. And at one point, a couple of people had to stand, because the room was small and there was not any seating left. I was in there for an hour and a half, and let me tell you, I got really tired of just looking at my phone. There weren't even any "paintings" on the wall to stare at senselessly.

Then I got called for the mammogram. Holy crap, that room was HUGE! I am not kidding when I say it was approximately the size of our first floor in our house. And yes, there was lots of equipment, but there was also enough space to host a gathering. 

Then I was sent to another waiting room to wait for the ultrasound. Same set up as the first room. I waited in there for 2 hours. Finally got called to the ultrasound room, which seemed much more reasonable, size-wise. Then sent back to the waiting room to wait for the doctor and get the report from both tests. Another 2 hours. 

Once that was over, I was told to go back to the changing and leave by the "exit door, not the same door you came in when you first arrived." So I wandered down a poorly-marked hallway until I saw a small sign that said "Changing Room." It looked vaguely familiar and fortunately, it was the right place. Then I had to find my way to the exit, which was once again a) circuitous, and b) poorly designated, signage-wise.

When I FINALLY got home, I decided that in my next life, I should set myself up in business as a person who represents "the public" whenever someone is planning a new building. Because this new building may have been bigger, brighter, and contain more/better (?) technology, but it was a disaster as far as design usage was concerned for patients. I was honestly appalled, because the older building I was used to was only frustratingly the same as far as the small, cubby-sized lockers. It was the one thing I had expected to be an improvemenet in the new building.

Once again, I told myself that in a Bridget-centric world, that building could have been so much better. Unlike most of the time, I hope I get one of those surveys they send after an appointment - I have a lot to tell them!

On top of which - I have to go back for another test at the end of the month - GAH! I told The Tim that maybe I should pack a lunch ... 

Who Knew?

Did you know that today is considered to be Worldwide Social Media Day? I sure didn't, and you'd think that since I use social media, I would have a clue. Oh well. I found out when I read this post by Louise Tillbrook, and I think it's a great post in favor of the positives that come from the social media experiences.

And it got me to thinking that a lot of what she says is true. Face it, having a blog is an early form of social media, and it was a way for me to meet so many people of like minds and develop actual friendships, even if we never get the chance to meet in person. I really enjoy having a blog and reading other blogs, even if nowadays it is considered "old-fashioned" and/or unnecessary.

Now granted, I don't use every single type of social media available. I occasionally check Pinterest for things like recipes or haircut ideas; I check on Facebook daily or every other day to "talk" to family and friends I don't usually get to see, or to find out what is new with them; I still have a Twitter account, but seldom check in there, ever since Evil Elon took over. I will admit that my favorite is Instagram, because I follow a lot of accounts that are things I love - knitting, art, animals, books, travel - and so to be honest, I seldom come across really negative or damaging things there, though I am of course well aware of their existence. I have seen TikTok videos, but do not have a TikTok account - not because of any political beliefs, just because I truly cannot imagine what I would do with an account of my own!

Some of the others out there - I may have heard of them, but I have absolutely no clue what they are about, for, etc.

Now I do have some personal rules for checking social media that I put into place while The Orange Menace was in office. I found that I needed to stop looking at online news, social media, and just about everything else all of the time if I wanted to keep my emotions and blood pressure down, and be able to get any sleep at all at night. I'm not a good sleeper in the best of times, so things were heading downhill fast.

My personal rule is that in the morning, I don't look at any social media until after I've eaten breakfast; and in the evening, I don't look at any social media after 8 p.m. This means in my case that I am able to start my day by easing into things, and end my day without being angry/upset/annoyed/whatever - well at least as far as news and social media is concerned!

So thank you to all of you who read my blog for at least participating in this type of social media. If we are also friends on Facebook and/or Instagram, all the better. And thanks to some of the social media for - as Louise Tillbrook points out in her post - introducing me to small businesses where I feel like I am actually purchasing from someone who appreciates my custom.

What about you? Do you find social media has good points, or do you wish you could just ignore it all? I have to admit, my favorite thing is that it allows me to "talk with friends" without having to leave the house, in my own time, and if I feel like it. As someone who is an introvert, most of the time it's just the amount of interaction that I need.

Have a good weekend! Here in the States, we are leading up to July 4th, so there's lots going on. I have no real plans to do anything special this weekend, but I'm glad it's here so that The Tim can be home and I can watch him take naps ... 😂

I hope your June ends well, and July starts off just as you would like. Take care, and I'll see you next week.

Thoughts on a Monday

Did you ever notice that no matter what, Monday always shows up? What's that about? 😉

Do any of you remember years ago, "Saturday Night Live" had a segment called "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey?" They were ridiculous, for example:

Though thinking about it, I could see myself coming up with something like this.

Anyway, I have no specific topic for today's post, but instead decided to just share some random thoughts here. So you've been warned, and if you keep reading, that's on you.

-- Since the governor of Florida has so many available funds at his disposal that he can use some of them to send immigrants to Martha's Vineyard, does that mean that when Hurricane Ian hits Florida this week, he won't need to request aid from the federal government to help people recover? Or did he use all of the money for the immigrants' transportation?

-- Does anyone else feel like NASA trying to explode an asteroid and change its course is a dicey experiment? I don't know, it just sounds like the beginning of a 1950s horror movie to me.

-- I am thrilled that not only has fall arrived, but it brought the fall weather that I love along with it. It gives me life, I have to say. 

-- Remember that hat I was knitting for the yarn shop that I felt was suspiciously like the Musselburgh Hat by Ysolda Teague? Well, I'm happy to report that people both online and in person are expressing the same thing. The hat in question is a "new" design by a designer whose name rhymes with "Flared Judd."

-- My friend and co-worker at the yarn store, Kathy, is having knee replacement surgery in mid-October. Our boss asked me if I would be interested in filling in for her on the Mondays she would usually work until she returns. I said that I would check the calendar, because I had purposely scheduled doctor appts, etc. on days I wasn't working at the shop. The previous week, she had asked if I would like to start working a third day on a regular basis starting in October, and I was happy to pick that up. So it may turn out that until the end of December, there are weeks when I'll work for four days. Which would be nice for the old bank account, but it means I'll have to plan things more closely as far as getting ready for holidays, etc. I have no obligation to do it, but I figure that if I can bank a bit more into savings until the end of the year, it will be a good start to 2023. And then I'll go to three days a week, which was my original hope for any part-time job.

-- Speaking of part-time jobs, I have still been applying for them when I see one that I could do and are interested in, and still nothing. Not even a "Thanks but no thanks." So I am even more grateful for my yarn store job than I was before!

-- Do you remember the challenge I was telling you I'm doing with a friend and also with my niece Amanda? We all agreed to try and walk/move a minimum of 30 minutes a day in September. We text each other to stay accountable, and it's gone really well for each of us. Over the weekend, we realized that this is the last full week of September, so we're trying to decide what/if to continue doing. So I would say if you want to try and get yourself any kind of exercise, but can't motivate yourself, find one or two friends to do it with you, and agree to text each time you have done something. We each live in different states, and even so, it's been both fun and motivating to have accountability. 

-- The other day, I heard a woman talking on her phone while I was waiting in line at the grocery store (of course I heard her - I'm pretty sure people in Maine could have also heard her). At one point she said, "I would rather be dead than keep getting old." Wow. I don't know, maybe she has some terrible health thing going on, though she looked fine. But if the only thing bugging her is that she is getting older, she's pretty darn lucky.

-- I think everyone should hug/kiss/say "I love you" to all of their family members (human and otherwise) at least once every single day.

And now, I'll just leave you with this - I hope your week is a good one!

Membership So Far: Just Us

For any of you who don't live in Pennsylvania, you may not even be interested in this post. Heck, even those in the state may not be, so let me say up front that this post is about politics. Which, like it or not, is part of every single part of our lives, in one way or another. So if you don't care, don't agree, or it makes you angry that this post is not about knitting, reading, cats, etc., my best advice would be to move along right now.

In the upcoming November general election, we have two statewide races that are big ones: John Fetterman, the current Lieutenant Governor (D), and Dr. Oz, television personality and resident of the state of New Jersey (R). 

You don't want me to get started on Dr. Oz. Trust me, you didn't even want that to happen before he decided to use his in-laws' address to "prove" his state residency. I was a non-fan of Dr. Oz before it become de rigueur here.

Then there is the gubernatorial race, which has Josh Shapiro, the current Attorney General (D), and Doug Mastriano, currently a PA state senator (R).

BUT.

Doug Mastriano is a danger to both PA and the country at large.

What you need to know more than anything else about Mr. Mastriano, is that he participated in the January 6 insurrection at the United States Capitol. He would be more than happy to de-certify the election results, is happy to oppose abortion on any terms, and thinks climate change is "fake science."

Did I mention that he participated in the insurrection?

Anyway, on one of the commercials featuring him, he is wearing a cap that says, "Cold War Veteran." This has put me over the edge. WTAF? It's the most ridiculous thing I've seen, and makes no sense. 

Why does he not have a hat that says "January 6 Insurrection Veteran?" Because, did I mention that he was there?

Anyway, I just cannot get over that stupid hat, I'll admit it. It represents everything I think is well, stupid about him. 

But then I realized - guess what? The Tim and I are also "Cold War Veterans!" Granted, we do not have gear proclaiming it, but we spent time as children hiding under desks to practice in case the Russians invaded, or dropped a nuclear bomb. We lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis - granted we were kids, but it happened. We spent many of our formative years hoping and praying that the Russians wouldn't find a way to get us, or our family and friends. 

I pointed this out to The Tim, and he agreed but mostly rolled his eyes as he is both annoyed (by having to always hear about it) and amused at my rants regarding Doug Mastriano.

Anyway, current Attorney General and gubernatorial candidate Josh Shapiro is the complete opposite. He has done a LOT of good as Attorney General - working to combat opioids in the community, filing a report showing the abuse rampant in the past in the Catholic Church here in the state,* to name just two - and is a reasonable, educated person. (OK, he also has two dogs, one of which is a Golden Retriever, so ... well, you know. 😉) He also seems to be a genuinely good guy. For a while he was the chairman of one of the local county's Board of Commissioners, and was well-liked.

You know what he's never been involved with?

The January 6 Insurrection.

And so, when the opportunity arose to get a yard sign to show our support, I hopped right on it. The sign arrived the other day, and we are now proudly declaring ourselves to be "Cold War Veterans" For Shapiro:

Membership So Far: 

1. Me

2. The Tim

But every great journey starts with a single step, you know?

No matter where you live, PLEASE VOTE IN NOVEMBER. More than ever before, our country's future hangs in the balance.

My name is Bridget and I approve this message.

*For the record, I was raised Catholic and still consider myself to be one. I am not offended by Josh Shapiro's report and the evidence produced, because guess what? Priests do and have done things that are terrible and should be prosecuted. They should not be above the law more than anyone else should be. So no, I'm not "anti-Catholic." Thank you for reading.

In Which I Am Annoyed

I'm sure you saw that title and thought, "And so why is that different than any other time?" and you would be correct.  But if you are still reading, that's on you.

Here is the specific thing I am annoyed about today.  Patreon.  

Let me say from the get-go that I have no opposition to creative people making money and being paid for their work, and I also know that only a very few, elite types can make a living through the things they design, sell, license, etc.  For example, the knitwear designers and/or yarn dyers that I know who are even doing well at all are fortunate to have either another full-time job to keep them going, or a partner who earns enough to allow them to pursue their work full-time.  I get it.

Do I appreciate free knitting patterns?  You bet I do, and I make A LOT of things from free patterns.  But I also purchase a lot of patterns, as well as buy books of patterns from time to time.  Because I know that everything isn't free, nor should it be.  Yes, sometimes I use a coupon code or a discount, but I completely understand the idea of monetary compensation for work.  

But frankly, I'm getting annoyed by people starting Patreon accounts for access to "special" patterns, "additional" content, etc.  

For example, there is a knitting designer whose designs I usually really like, and I have purchased as well as made a few of their patterns.  But they have decided to offer Patreon as an option for people.  You pay a monthly subscription fee (there are different levels of membership) and you receive a "special" pattern monthly not available to others, as well as a look into their design processes, their personal lives, etc.  

There are also a lot of knitting podcasters who have also set up Patreon programs, providing more access to them, their patterns/yarns/dogs/whatever.  

I'm not saying they have no right to do so.  I'm just saying it annoys the spit out of me.  First of all, if you want to "monetize" your work, then just do so outright.  If you feel that you put all kinds of effort and work into what you do, and that you are not getting the rewards from it you would like, then yeah, change it somehow.  But for myself, I don't like the feeling that I am paying a monthly subscription for something that is basically what you were doing anyway, but now costs something.  

From what I can tell, the monthly subscription costs can be as low as $3.00, all the way up to $10.00 per month.  OK sure, but unless there is only a single person that you love so much that you decide to support them this way, I don't have even $3.00 a month for ten different people.  Obviously plenty of people do/can provide support this way, but I'm betting most of us don't have unlimited discretional funds.  And frankly, I'm not sure that even if I did, I would want to support anyone this way.

The world is already too divided among the haves and have nots to drill down even more into those who can pay $3.00 a month and those who cannot.  

And if you are a podcaster, and still providing something online for free, I also don't want to always hear about what you offered to "my Patreon supporters" and not the the rest of us.  In this case, as far as I'm concerned, ignorance *is* bliss.  And personally I just think it's rude to keep mentioning all of the amazing things that they receive that the rest of us mere mortals do not.

Does this greatly change my life or my daily functioning?  No.  Does it have an effect on my crafting or the things I make.  No.  It's just to me more about the principle of the thing.  It completely turns me off when I hear about yet another person deciding to start a Patreon group and how wonderful it will be for those who support them.

It's a free country.  Spend your money the way you like, do things in a way that makes you happy and helps you to feel you are valued.  I get it.  It doesn't mean I have to like it, or even give it my own personal approval.

Now.  Aren't you glad you kept reading?  Feel free to write your own blog post about how it annoys you when bloggers complain about things they don't need to buy/participate in/do.  I'll get that too.  😏

Anyway, regardless of how you feel about any of this - or about anything at all, for that matter - I hope you have a good weekend.  I am getting my hair cut tomorrow afternoon, which I'm excited about.  Awful summer weather is due to return and continue though, and I'm less excited about that.  

But on the plus side, I figure that's why iced tea was invented, right?

Popularity Has Never Been My Strong Point

On the plus side, I've also never cared if I was popular, because I dislike so many people who are/were.  Life as an equal opportunity hater evens out every once in a while, you know?

But something recently reminded me of this, and so for Three on Thursday, I decided I would share Three Things That Have Not Made Me Popular:

1.  I do not believe that "All Women Are [fill in the blank]."  Why do I not believe this?  Because all people are not all anything, except maybe our skeletons.  I'm all for uplifting and supporting women, but I refuse to think All Women Are Noble when I know they are not.  Just like - and I'm sorry if this shocks you - All Knitters Are Nice is not true.  I know plenty that are terrible people.  It happens.

2.  There are areas of the country that, on the whole, I do not like.  I am sure there are people there I would like, and that I could become friends with, but unless I have to go where they are, I'll never find out.  I know it's probably based on certain personal prejudices of mine, but nonetheless there you are.  And to be perfectly honest, there are a couple of places that if I found out I had to move there again, I would require constant and heavy sedation.  But you know what?  It would never occur to me to say it to anyone other than The Tim and the critters, because I know it's ridiculous.  And I know that I would somehow manage to survive if I had to live/live again in these places.  That is what complaining is for, right??

3.  A friend's mother posted this on social media the other day:

Before moving on with this one, let me say that I get it - people should not spend their lives living in fear.  And I know that so many of us are really sick of this whole pandemic thing.  

But ... NOPE.  NO NO NO NO.  Here is how I responded:

"I appreciate what you are trying to say here, but I think it's best to not get together with family you have not seen or been around this year.  I don't feel it's worth it to create the possibility that it will be everyone's last Christmas."  

Granted, I would normally keep this to myself, but I feel really strongly about this whole thing.  Covid cases are leaping exponentially, and at least here in Philadelphia (you know, voting cheater country), we have been told that a majority of cases have originated with family gatherings since people are tired of staying apart.  Would I LOVE the chance to see my family this holiday season, or anytime soon?  You bet. Will I?  NO.WAY.  

Anyway, let's just suffice it to say it didn't go over well.  And I have lost no sleep over that.  (Over other stuff, of course, but not this.)

******

Thanks, by the way for your comments over my illness/reaction to my shingles vaccine. I'm feeling much better, and it was of course way better than getting shingles again because they are awful.  But really, did that all even need to happen?  Of course not!

Have a good one today, however you can.  

Some Instructions for The Tim, and Other Things

The other night, The Tim and were talking - as we usually don't because I am often ranting and he is ignoring me - because we had been watching a news story about a woman who had been killed in a car accident, and there was now a huge shrine at the spot where the accident had occurred.  The reporter was spinning it like it was the Most. Meaningful. Thing.  And The Tim said to me, "Are you writing in to the station about this?"

He of course was joking, but it's because he knows there are certain things that just set me off on a course that takes along time to come back around before the journey ends.  As I'm sure you know if you read my blog, or even more so if you know me in person, I have many opinions, some extremely unpopular because they seem uncaring and others because of my intense dislike for others that most people seem to like.  Such is life.  No one should feel that they have to go along with what everyone else thinks because others will be upset.  And yet so many do, or would rather be miserable than express an opinion.

Anyway, our initial discussion led to many other topics, and The Tim said to me, "You should share some of these golden nuggets on your blog, I'm sure others would find them ... fascinating?"  Well, the joke's on him, 'cause that is just exactly what I am doing.  You are under no obligation to keep reading, comment, or even care, but here we go.

There are two specific cases where I have left specific threats instructions for The Tim should my demise occur prior to his shuffle off this mortal coil:

1. In the hopefully-never-to-occur event that I die in any way unjustly or unfairly, such as murder, car accident, falling off a poorly constructed roof, etc., he is to not allow and/or is to destroy any tributes at my home or the scene of the event.  You know, candles, balloons, teddy bears, t-shirts with my photo - we've all seen it.  These offend me on every level.  I know people are trying to be kind, to grieve, etc. but NO.  

2.  Apparently it is not uncommon for you or your ancestors to be baptized into the Mormon Church even when dead.  This is also highly offensive to me.  No one who has passed should have anyone living decide their religion for any reason.  If one wants to be Mormon, Presbyterian, Catholic, Scientologist, or Shinto, they can decide that when alive.  The dead should be left to their beliefs when alive, no matter how wrong we the living think they might have been.

My instructions to The Tim in these cases are that should he allow either of these to occur,  I will: a) come back from the dead, b) beat the s**t out of him, and c) return to being dead.  This, he takes seriously.

*****

When we first moved to Philadelphia, we had a lovely apartment in an area of the city which was always very fancy - the well-to-do, well-known, better-than-us people had always lived there.  Our apartment building, for instance, had a fourth floor that was nothing but "servant's quarters" with small cells containing a bed and wash basin for those who worked for the people who had lived in the apartments when they were originally built.  Anyway, Christmas was near, and I talked The Tim into going to Christmas Mass with me at the Catholic Church up the street, which had been built by the benevolent rich people for their lowly Irish servants.  It's a beautiful church, but as we were sitting there waiting for Mass to begin, The Tim pointed out a mural to me that showed the Nativity of Christ - which of course, was appropriate and fine - BUT which showed St. Patrick and St. Bridget worshiping at the creche!!!  My indignation at this illustration still amuses him to this day.  I know that to a lot of people, the existence of God at all is just a story, etc., and that is fine. But I think it's safe to say that if any of it did happen at all as we have been told, that NONE of the saints traveled BACK IN TIME to be there!!!

Somewhat related to the above, do not ever send me a Christmas card that shows Santa kneeling to the baby Jesus.  Santa and Jesus have no business appearing together.  Jesus is Jesus and Santa is Santa and though both are a part of Christmas, they have not, do not, and never should hang out together.  This is a hill that I am willing to die on.

*****

And finally, I know that this one is something a lot of people support but - stop putting frilly headbands on baby girls so that GOD FORBID no one thinks they are a boy baby!  I cannot tell you how stabby this makes me.  First of all, if you insist on doing this, then it is only fair that you make baby boys wear full-fledged tool belts.  Secondly, it's a g*****n baby, and does not need head ornamentation especially headbands or bows which don't even stay on properly because few babies are born with adult head of hair.  And why is it a problem if a baby girl is not immediately recognizable from the way it is dressed?  Why is it impossible for people to say, "What a cute baby" instead of "What a cute baby boy/girl/squirrel?"  WHY DOES IT MATTER IT'S A BABY???  As someone who was occasionally mistaken for a boy as a young child, I'm here to say that my parents and myself were somehow able to continue living our lives in spite of such a tragic occurrence.

*****

I'm sure that you have your own opinions on all/some of these, or that you just don't care, which is fine.  But just know I will fight you on all of them.  😀

Ask The Tim.  He'll tell you.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

In Which I Rant About Unsolicited Advice

Everyone has advice.  A lot of people are more than happy to give it, whether it's been requested or not.  One of my friends and I joke that you should never take your own advice, because it's only important for others.  ;-)

Most of the time, when people give me unsolicited advice I ignore it and move on.  But there are some things that when someone "advises" me for the billionth time, just make me want to scream. 

Example the First:  When we adopted Hamlet, he was wearing a choke collar.  I asked Jeff (his former owner and "employer," so to speak) why this was the case.  He pointed out that the collar had a plate on it identifying Hamlet as a dog from the Seeing Eye Foundation in Morristown, N. J.  They put it on all of the dogs.  But as Jeff pointed out, they also showed them how to use it.  When you attach the leash to the collar, you NEVER attach it to the part that pulls and chokes the dog - you attach it to the other ring that is just like a regular collar.  They use choke collars because they are less likely than leather or fabric to cause an allergic reaction on the dog's neck.  So that is the background.

We left the collar on him because a) he is used to it, b) it provides a kind of identification even if his tags fall off, and c) because we know how to use it.  Out of approximately every 10 walks I take with Hamlet, I receive advice about choke collars at least 8 times.  Originally, I would stop and show people how the leash was attached so that he would not be choked, etc., but ever since I showed someone 3 times and they still lectured me, I just tune them out.  If you can't listen to what I have to say in response to your advice, I can't be bothered to listen to you in the first place.

Example the Second:  Whenever I mention that we have cats, someone advises me not to declaw them.  They are not declawed.  However, our late cat Jetsam was declawed when we got him.  People would come to the house, meet him, and then lecture me for 10 minutes about the evils of declawing cats.  Immediately after I mentioned that he was that way when he arrived.

Example the Third:  I have a friend that I have known for years (since college) who is a nurse.  She lives in another location altogether, so we don't see each other very often, but we do keep in touch via social media on occasion.  But I seldom interact with her there anymore because she drives me crazy with her unsolicited advice about health, behavior, etc.  A couple of years ago, I posted a picture of my little great-niece with Pip on her lap, giving him a kiss on the top of the head.  She posted under it that I was endangering the child because even if the cat is friendly her face was too close, and she could be scratched in the eye.  And then she posted on my niece's account the same thing, and also on my sister's account (the child's grandmother), since "not being a mother" I did not seem to be paying attention to her warning/advice.  I finally took the post down because it was just not worth it.

Example the Fourth:  My hair.  OMG, sometimes I am tempted to wear a headcovering so that people - both known and unknown - will stop telling me that my hair is too short!  Spoiler alert:  It's on purpose.  I would love to have long, luxurious hair, but I do not.  So unless it's a state occasion, I am not interested in spending a lot of time to fix my hair.  Also, particularly in the summer, I don't like having hair that I can feel on my neck, face, etc. - I'm already hot enough, thank you.  So your advice that I wear it to a) not look manly, b) not be mistaken for a lesbian, or c) let it grow because husbands like long hair is not just useless, but also something that is really, truly, absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS UNLESS I ASK FOR YOUR OPINION.

I generally respond by saying, If someone thinks I look ______, it's their problem, not mine.  Which is nearly always rewarded by a pitying glance which just says, Oh sweetie, you don't understand, do you?

I guess what I am trying to say overall is that maybe we should all refrain from advising others unless they ask for it.  If someone says to me, "Do you think I should buy this pair of shoes," they are asking for my opinion/advice.  If I say to someone "You shouldn't buy those shoes because _____," that is a whole 'nother story.  And I deserve it if said person tells me to go away or whatever.

So that is my rant, as well as my reminder to myself, for this Friday.  If no one is asking, keep it to yourself. As illustrated below.

But now, some unsolicted advice from me that will hopefully not offend:  Have a good weekend!

Life on the Margins

I just wanted to put this out in the universe, because I've been thinking about it a lot, and if nothing else, it needs to leave my brain so I can have some personal peace.  Having said that, feel free to stop reading if you aren't interested, or for other reasons that you may have.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you have heard about Ravelry's statement released just this past Sunday regarding their new policy dealing with support of the current occupant of the White House and his administration.  It's been trending on Twitter, all over Instagram, and even covered by CNN, The Washington Post, and The Guardian in the UK.

I will admit that I was really surprised when I first heard about it - because I didn't realize that anything was happening, though upon reflection, I shouldn't have been surprised.  Knitters, crocheters, weavers, etc. are all people.  People think (well, at least some of them), and they have feelings, and they react to things.  As a knitter, I enjoy thinking about patterns, yarns, seeing what others are doing, and laughing when things go wrong.  I also have strong opinions about many things and many people, and have no qualms about expressing them when the spirit moves me.  I live in the world, and have serious concerns about what is happening locally, nationally, and globally, and I do what I can to support individuals and organizations that share my values.

Some people I know think and believe differently than I do, and for the most part, I can respect them even if I disagree, because they have come to their feelings and decisions based on experience, thoughtfulness, and consideration of facts.  I have no issues with these people, because it is a live-and-let-live sort of relationship.  We agree to disagree, as it were.  I don't preach to them, and they don't preach to me.

This is completely different than dealing with extremists, no matter what the cause or belief system.  I will admit that I am in no way a supporter of the current occupant of the White House or anyone of his ilk.  Do I think they are to blame for every single bad thing going on in today's society?  No I don't.  But - and this is a big BUT - I think that they are responsible for bad things getting worse, because they do not condemn them.  They are not going up to individuals and saying, "Yes, have a rally against minorities," but they are not condeming them when they happen.  They are allowing every base, terrible instinct to become just another part of our lives.  For example, toxic masculinity and obvious racism has always been around, but through the example from the top, it's more publicly prevalent than ever.  Some would say, "Well, at least it's out in the open," but when actions follow that hurt or endanger others, it needs to be stopped.  We should all strive to be better than this.

Growing up, I was often at the margins of "normal" life.  We moved a lot, so I spent a lot of time being "the new kid," which is as much about being someone no one knows in school as it is about being a curiosity because you're not part of "them."  My family didn't have money, so I didn't travel to exotic places on school breaks or vacations, like nearly every other kid in my school did.  I was never popular, and was often bullied.  The fact that I was smart (i.e., got decent grades) meant that sometimes, kids were nice to me because they hoped I would do their schoolwork for them (I wouldn't).  I was never boy-crazy, which as a teenager made me a really suspicious character.  It was usually unpleasant, often lonely, and sometimes heartbreaking.

But here's the thing.  I was never left out because of the color of my skin.  I've never been the recipient of cruelty or negativity based on the person I chose to marry.  No one's ever told me to go back to where I came from, even if I was born here.  I've never had to explain my decision to change my gender.  I've never had anyone threaten to kill or lynch me.  No one has ever followed me around a store because they were sure that I'd steal something, even if I'd never even considered doing such a thing.  No one has ever called me terrible names related to my ethnic background or religious beliefs.

These are examples of people who are truly marginilized.  These are the ones who get hate mail, or mocked on Twitter, or in worst-case scenarios, have people call them on their phones to spew filth, or show up at their homes to harrass them.

There are not "very fine people on both sides" of extremism.  Ravelry took a stand, which was within their rights.  The First Amendment protects free speech, but only regarding the government.  Individuals and private companies can decide for themselves what is acceptable and not acceptable.  Those responsible for Ravelry decided where the line in the sand was located, and unlike many other websites, companies, and individuals, they said enough is enough, here is how we will go forward.

We all need to follow their example.  Thank you for reading.

EDITED TO ADD:  Thoughtful comments, as always, are welcome.  Rude, abusive, or threatening comments will be immediately deleted, because, to use a popular saying, "Ain't nobody got time for that."

Meditations on the Last Monday in April

I just returned from a dr appt to have my wrist x-rayed for the eleventy-thousandth time, and I got a good report, but of course was instructed to keep working on my exercises.  Occupational therapy is finished, but the rest of it will be up to me.  I have a lot of determination to get back to as close as 100% as possible by the time I go back in November.  The dr said there is a good chance that I may never be 100% in all aspects of movement in my right hand and wrist, but I'm gonna try to do the best that I can.

Anyway, the weekend has moved on, and April is getting ready to exit.  Our weekend was quiet, which was fine, since last weekend was so busy.  Yesterday, I returned to my Scrappy Sunday - using Sundays to work on scrappy projects, in my case, finishing another row on my Cozy Memories blanket.

I added the final three blocks on the left to the top row.  I've really enjoyed Scrappy Sundays, even though this is only the second one for me.  But I like picking up this project every week and remembering everything included in it.

So there I was, happily knitting away on the blocks, and then I heard the news about the shooting at a synagogue in California.  And I thought about how I was sitting with my project, thinking about projects and people associated with the various blocks.  A few of the blocks are from mini skeins and leftovers given to me by friends.

And whenever I am knitting, I remember how the watermelon block on the bottom left is from a pair of socks I knit a few years back.  I was working on them while we were in West Virginia for Memorial Day, and my niece Annie was so incredibly fascinated.  She kept saying, "But ... how does the yarn do that, how did they know to make it that way?"  The first block of the blanket, on the bottom left, is from Dee, who gave it to me when we went to see her and Steve at Christmastime the first year they moved back to Pennsylvania.  She handed it to me and said, "This is to get you started."  In the second row, the blue square that is the second one on the left, is made with a colorway called Unity, a sock yarn dyed in 2008 by my friend Carol, who sent the proceeds from it to the Obama Presidential campaign.

This was my meditation from yesterday.  I was in my own house, and feeling safe, because hopefully everyone does feel safe in their own house.  And I realized that the California synagogue (and months ago, the one in Pittsburgh) were houses of God, where those gathered felt confident and safe, and were thinking of loved ones near and far, those who were gone in body but not in spirit.  They were meditating on the meaning of Passover this year, and celebrating the end of the holiday.

That is, until a 19-year-old nursing student (a *nursing* student - a caring profession if there ever was one!) decided that it was up to him to get rid of them.  And of course he had a gun to do it.  Because the only thing these days more available than thoughts and prayers are guns.

His actions didn't just kill a person, or injure others.  It took away their sense of safety in what should be one of the most universally safe places - a house of worship.

But his actions also served to make all of us wonder how safe we are once again.  We think if we're home, we're safe.  We think if we are at school, or church, or a work meeting that nothing terrible will happen to us.  When it turns out that we just aren't really safe anywhere.

Maybe we never have been.  Maybe finally something will be done about guns in our culture.  Maybe someday we will have a leader and an administration that does not provide us with Exhibits A-Z in the story and action of hate and vindictiveness.  Maybe.  I don't know.

I just know that we need to live our lives and help others when/if we are able to do so.  We need to vote and be active in our neighborhoods and communities.  We need to share our opinions and feelings with each other without it turning into a free-for-all.

Yesterday, I took Hamlet for a walk, and we stopped to visit with a neighbor on our street.  She asked me if he ever growled at the cats, or at dogs who lunged at him or growled at him on a walk.  I told her that he never does.  And that it seems if the cats are bothering him too muh, he just gets up and walks away.  She said, "If only people did that."

Thinking about it, I had to wonder: people say animals are "just animals," or "dumb animals."  But what if humans are the dumb ones?

Here's to a better week ahead.

Meanderings

I really didn't intend to go quiet for so long, but the past week was just not kind to me.  And though I kept up with your blogs, I mostly didn't take the time to comment because ... well, because.

But I have been knitting away (finished the stripey socks!), and reading, and paying attention to the world - and doing my usual amount of overthinking the little things.  It's what I do.

Here are just some of the things that have passed through my brain over the past week.

-- Am I the only knitter in the world who doesn't mind purling and/or seed stitch?  I've never thought purling was annoying or difficult, and I love the texture created by seed stitch.  But nearly everyone I know will do anything to avoid the purl stitch, and some people will skip something entirely if seed stitch is involved.

-- Why do people want to have a gun?  I know people who want/have them, but even when they give me legitimate reasons, I don't understand.  I guess because I've never even been curious about or fascinated by guns at all.  And I will never ever ever ever understand why individual citizens should have an assault weapon.

--  Am I the only person who doesn't care about the British Royal Family and in fact actively dislikes everything they represent?  Even friends of mine who are not obsessed with them seem addicted to knowing everything they do, etc. 

--  I watched a lot of the Olympics, and I enjoyed a lot of it, but why in the name of a small black dog named Pete did it seem that the bulk of the events covered were snowboarding?  I do not wish ill to snowboarders or their activity, but there are other sports, and I would have liked to seen more of them.  Even those where (gasp!) there was not a touching/tragic/American human interest story.

--  Dystopian books/novel/plays do nothing for me.  It would be hard for me to find them more annoying.

--  Why does everything have to be a MAJOR THING these days?  Can't things happen, or can't people have experiences, without it becoming somehow Very Important or Extremely Symbolic? 

--  Following up on that, why are stupid people famous and even worse, admired?  Not that I want them rounded up and shot (well .... no, no I don't), but why are they so celebrated?   Smart people - heck, even just average people with sense - are looked on with suspicion or even mocked. 

--  Also, you will never convince me that it is a bad thing to be a feminist. 

OK, I've gotten all of that off my chest.  Time to leave for my appointment with the eye doctor, and then on to the hilarity and wonderfulness of the work day.  [insert sarcasm]

Happy March, Happy Friday, and here's to a wonderful weekend! 

Random Musings on the Last Day of the Month

Oh January, you've been quite the month, haven't you?  And that's without any snow or terribly cold weather (at least here in Philadelphia)!  You've still managed to keep us on our toes (or in my case, on my crutches).

Anyway, there are things floating through my brain, and I've decided that I *must* share them with you, my captive audience faithful reader friends.

*A person where I work had a baby boy.  They named him "Lennon," or so I thought.  But it turns out, they named him "Lenin," because they like the unusual spelling, and "didn't really know who it was."  OK, but this is only acceptable if you have another child and name him Stalin.

*Why do so many people obsess over the British Royal Family?  I find them rather appalling, to be honest, and also feel that they strongly resemble horses.  (Sorry if I have offended any horses.)  I guess I fail to see their purpose.

*Why do some people say, "Do you really need those crutches?"  WHO walks around with crutches if they do not have to???  Please supply names and addresses, so I can visit those people in person and smack them upside the head.

*Is/has anyone else watched "A Series of Unfortunate Events" with Neil Patrick Harris as Count Olaf?  We are finding it highly amusing.

*The other day, I happened to mention that one of the local oddball channels here was showing "The Honeymooners" and how it is one of my favorite shows ever.  I was told that it encourages violence against women.  Ugh (both to violence against women and to that opinion).

*Someone asked me the other day how Jack the kitten was doing, and why I don't post more pictures of him.  A) He is doing just fine, and having a grand old time.  The other day, The Tim said he thought Jack had a self-esteem problem.  I said, "Are you serious?" and he responded, "Yes.  He has TOO MUCH self-esteem."  HA!  B) It is nearly impossible go get a photo of him, as he is moving 99% of the time, and the photos turn out incredibly blurry.  Trust me, I'm trying though!

*Speaking of The Tim, why does he decide to undertake major projects all of a sudden, and then I'm suddenly supposed to drop everything and do what he needs me to do to finish it?  He does this every once in a while, and it makes me nuts.  And he can never understand why I think it's a problem.  Grrrr.

*Our dryer stopped working last week.  The Tim called to have it checked out and repaired, and fortunately it was just that the innards needed to be cleaned, because so much linty stuff was built up.  We are very conscientious about cleaning the lint trap, but I also wonder why they don't make it possible for you to get to that area of the dryer  yourself, instead of having to have a repair person come, and then pay for an expensive service call.

*Speaking of repair stuff, here in the Philadelphia area, we are bombarded with commercials about Horizon Plumbing Services.  It's all about how service-oriented they are, how clean-cut and considerate their employees are (my read: nice white men) etc., etc.  A few months ago, when we were getting a new dishwasher, and needed some plumbing work done, we called them, and the person on the phone informed us that they don't service Philadelphia itself (my read: scary city with scary people).  Their commercials have always driven me nuts anyway, but now every time I see one, I wish that kid on the commercials would have to move into the city and survive.

Please note that I am not condoning violence against children.  Maybe just this one ... and not necessarily real violence ... just perhaps pulling his chair out when he goes to sit down - you know an old-school amusing prank.

I should probably close now, before I dig a deeper hole for myself ...

Pensive

Tomorrow is the beginning of the last week I will be in my fifties.  It seems weird to say that, even weirder to realize it.  I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about turning 60, which I guess is not surprising since it is a milestone age.  I'm fortunate to live in a time and place where it doesn't mean that I'm being put out to pasture so to speak, but there are still realizations that come with making it this far.

When I turn 60:

I will have outlived my father by seven years.  That's crazy, since dying at the age of 53 seems so uncommon and young.  I remember that even at the time, he didn't seem *that* old to me, but now I realize just how young he was.

I will still be working with no real end in sight and in a job I truly hate.  This disappoints me, I have to be honest.  Not the still working part, because I didn't have any plans for early retirement.  But the job-hating part is the kicker.  For so many reasons, I'm pretty stuck where I am for the duration, and that is depressing.  And since recent illnesses have pretty much taken care of any financial cushion we may have had, retirement is likely a looooonnnng time away for me.

I will have survived three different cancers.  That's both ridiculous (no one should get three different cancers, one is insulting enough!), and wonderful (I am only too well aware of how lucky I am!).  I am fortunate in this as well, that I live in a time and place where surviving any cancer at all is a strong possibility.  My father, mentioned above, died from liver cancer when it was basically a death sentence from the get go, and that less than 50 years ago!  Now cancer can be detected long before you have any noticeable symptoms.

I will remember things like dial telephones, non-remote TVs with antennas, black-and-white TV, party lines on your telephone, cameras that used film you had to send away to be developed before you knew how the pictures looked, and so many other things that seem like distant relics today!  That's so weird, it's like I've done time-traveling or something!  :-)

I will be closer to dying than not.  I don't dwell on this fact, certainly, but it can be sobering to realize that your chances of dying are stronger than they were when you were 40.  Having said that, I certainly hope my time will not be up for a long time, since I have no desire to leave.

I will be able to appreciate the fact that I know myself pretty well.  I've always been self-aware to some degree, but only as I've gotten older have I realized how important that is.  I think it's one of my strengths and I feel bad for people who never seem to understand the concept.

I will be - to some degree - living the life that I want to live.  If you take away the work thing (and sadly, that is a big chunk, but it's not everything), I am lucky to have the life I do.  I have a house that I love in a place that is somewhere I enjoy living, I have The Tim, who even if we are not madly, passionately embracing every minute, is my true companion and partner in crime.  I am surrounded by animals that I love and that has always been a dream of mine.  I have books, music, yarn, TV, and a few true friends.  I have many friendly and pleasant acquaintances.  I've been able to travel, and hope to do some more.

I will have led a good life so far.  :-)

So even if I can't say "Here's to the next 60!" (because frankly I have no desire to live to be 120 years old), I can say "Let's keep doing this, and see what happens!"

Have a good week, and remember to be glad you are here.

Well, That Was Stupid

Most of the time, I would like to think that when I write a post here, or on Facebook, or send an e-mail, that it is something clear and [probably?] sensible.  I don't go out of my way to cause controversy, because a) I don't feel like creating controversy for the sake of it, b) I don't feel those are appropriate platforms, and c) because, frankly, unless I am engaged person-to-person with someone, I don't care to drag things out online (I don't like it in person, either, but I think it's easier to contain.)

Yesterday, I posted this on Facebook, thinking it was a relatively benign thing to say:

"This morning I woke up feeling really sick (thanks, Obama), so maybe I am feeling extra cranky (though I'm not sure that is possible), but wow people are being worse than usual.

I have seen at least three posts where someone has asked others to pray for the victims of the attacks in Paris, etc. And then barrages of commenters lambasting them because praying does nothing, prayer is stupid, prayer causes cancer (OK I added that to see if you were paying attention).

Everyone deals with tragedy and sadness in their own way. If you do not believe in prayer, then ignore that post. It doesn't offend the person who posted, and it doesn't make you look like the kind of person you would normally be criticizing big time.

Rant over. (This one, at least. For right now.) Back to my box of tissues and my cough drops."

Well, That Was Stupid.

What I was trying to say was that, if you don't pray/believe in prayer or a higher being, are opposed to organized religion, etc., just move on rather than attack the person who posted the original thought.  And that was really what I meant.  I don't know about you, but on Facebook and plenty of other places - as well as in my daily life - I scroll past/ignore so many things people say.  I consider myself to be a pretty tolerant person, and really only use Facebook and other social media to have fun and to see what with up for my friends and family.  It's fun and for a lot of family members especially, would be the only way I would ever know if they were still among the living ...

Anyway, I got a couple of funny comments from a friend, and a lovely comment from another friend who is actively atheist, and generally grumpy.  She basically said (I'm paraphrasing here) that when people would say, "I'm praying for you," she used to be really obnoxious and rude in response.  Then she finally realized that they were being nice, and wishing her well.  So now she says "Thank you" and moves on.  

She *got* exactly what I meant. 

Someone else though, took it to another level, talking about how she has been nice to people about it and they try to convert her, etc.  I replied that I was talking about something completely different, but she didn't let go, and railed on about people preaching to her and not leaving her alone.  

I truly only meant in my post that I wished people would allow other their opinions, and if they don't agree, rather than attacking them, move on.  I think political, social, religious discourse all have a proper place and time, but should try as hard as possible to remain civil.  I'm not perfect, but 99% of the time, I keep my thoughts to myself when someone posts something I find ridiculous, stupid, annoying, etc.  Because again, I use social media for fun and for actual exposure to others, and decide who does or does not seem to be someone I want to be in touch with on a regular basis.

That is why my post made me realize - Well, That Was Stupid.  Look what I said.  Look where I said it.  

I still believe what I said in the post, in case you were wondering.  A lot of you probably don't.  Fine with me.  Let's agree or disagree, but let's also pay attention to what people are *actually* trying to say, not what we decide they must be saying.  

Do me a favor, will you?  If this post offends you to the point where you feel the need to go on and on and on, please just do that in your head.  I'm sorry I opened my mouth in the first place, but there you go ...

*by the way, I like to "blame Obama" for everything ... since everyone else does!  ;-)

NaBloPoMo Day #16

Personal Opinion

The title says it.  I don't usually get into social/political/religious commentary here, so if you don't want to read any further, please just click close or delete or whatever, and though I hope you'll come back, that is your decision to make.

Today, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that same sex marriage is legal in all fifty states.

I was raised by a married couple who were male and female.  First and foremost, they wanted us to be good people, with good values.  They were religious and they were spiritual, but they were also realistic and worldly.  They expected nothing less from us.

When I was a kid, I didn't really know or pay attention to whether or not anyone was homosexual (the term "gay" didn't apply at that point), and I do not remember my parents talking about it at all.  As a teenager, I remember being shocked when my mother said something about one of their friends being homosexual.  When I asked who it was, she said it was none of my business.

I am not a perfect person by any means, but I have to truly say that it never even crossed my mind to care if someone was gay or straight.  I dislike a lot of people, but that is not one of the determining factors.  I have never ever felt threatened when I was around someone who was gay, nor have I worried that their existence was a danger to my morals, values, or marriage.

I used to work with a guy who lived with his female partner for fifteen years when I met him.  He was really upset when our employer changed their benefits so that gay couples could share benefits, because they were not offered to opposite sex partner couples as well.  I pointed out that all he would have to do to get those benefits would be to get married, and he said that marriage was a meaningless thing, and he was never getting married. I said that he and his partner could go to a justice of the peace, get married, and the only thing that it would have to mean would be they could share benefits.  I pointed out that gay couples were not allowed to do this no matter what.  He was not in agreement.  But you know what?  We somehow managed to continue working together and we got along, even though I thought he was a jerk, and I'm sure he had his own thoughts about me.

I was raised Catholic, and though I don't spend a lot of time in church now, I still identify as one.  Maybe it's because I attended a Jesuit college, where the most important thing we learned was how to think.  I found out that among clergy, there was as much difference of personal opinion as there was among the general population.  Truth be known, many of the local parish priests felt that the Jesuits were a really suspicious group.

I guess what I'm saying is that I am glad that anyone who wants to get married can now do so legally.  And even if your individual religious beliefs do not embrace the idea, and it makes you uncomfortable, it's still the way things are as of today.  Believe it or not, it won't change my day-to-day existence at all - everyone I know will still be whoever they were yesterday.

I think the Supreme Court ruling is a good one.  I am thrilled for those who fought long and hard for the right to marry, and the other rights and benefits that come from being in a legal relationship.

But mostly, I just plan to live my life.  As I hope everyone else will be allowed to do.

Rainbow crosswalk in Philadelphia

A Tuesday Post, But Not That One ...

I was going to try to participate in today's Ten on Tuesday, with the topic being The First 10 Songs That Play on Your Favorite Pandora Station.  Fun, right?

Except that I have started four different times, trying to note the songs, and each time I get distracted and pet one of the cats, think about pie, wonder how close I am to the end of my current book ... well, you get the picture.  Apparently I do not have a decent attention span at the moment, so no playing along this week.

However, I do have something to share with you, for any that are interested.  I know I have mentioned here that I have another blog.  I think I have about four or five regular readers (two of them even comment regularly!), and I wrote a post the other day that seemed to strike a nerve.  Two people sent me private e-mails about it, and being that I think I have eight to ten regular readers here,* I decided to go ahead and share it. 

Take a look, and if you are inclined, tell me what you think.  

*I know there are more, and I thank all of you! :-)

Mega Decisions

If you are a book reader or a book lover, you may have seen this article in today's New York Times.  It's a sign of the times in big cities (and probably elsewhere) that rents are ridiculous, and some businesses have a hard time staying put.  In this case, the article is about bookstores, which are one of my particular loves.

These days, too many places are full of "mega" stores, or chains that everyone knows.   I will admit that sometimes, I'm glad to see a Starbucks in a strange town, because I know exactly what I will get there.  I'm not a big coffee drinker, but when I do have a cup of coffee, I'm pretty picky about it.  However, a strange town without a Starbucks is also fine, and there's always the chance I will find something better than I could have ever imagined.  Even here in Philadelphia, there are places with wonderful coffee that are not national chains.  I would be depressed if they had to pack up and move because they were priced out of the city.

But - back to bookstores.  For the last decade or more, people have been lamenting the demise of the independent bookstore.  Once Amazon became a habit, and Barnes & Noble moved in, many small, independent, interesting, and quirky bookstores closed because they couldn't match prices.  The MegaBookstores ruined the neighborhood bookstore.

I will be the first one to be appalled that local bookstores are disappearing.  There is nothing more fun to me than walking into a bookstore, to discover its personality, and also find things that I might not ever even think of seeing everywhere else.  To a book nerd like me, *that* is a fun experience.  Fortunately, there are still some of these bookstores in the Philadelphia area, albeit fewer than when we first moved here, many years ago.

But I usually buy books from Barnes & Noble.  And that is related to the real subject of this post.

On a personal level, I would rather go just about anywhere than ever be caught dead in a Walmart.  It's a strictly personal thing - I know plenty of people who shop there regularly, and love it.  Walmart is someplace that to me, represents evil, and the loss of local flavor.  It's one of the "Mega" stores that has ruined local businesses, and even in some cases, made local downtowns ghost towns.

So given my feelings for Walmart, why would I buy books from Barnes & Noble, one of the Mega bookstores that have led to the demise of some local stores?  Well, the short answer is - money.  Ah yes, money, the answer to so many questions.

When we first moved to Philadelphia, it was because The Tim had accepted a job at a scholarly press here, as the Assistant Director.  He had been in publishing at that point for about 15 years, moving up in the ranks, and he loved his work.  We were both thrilled that he had gotten this job.  And for nine years, he worked at it and did really well.  Then the Director left for other pastures, and The Tim was named Acting Director.  This was a job he held for about 18 months, during which the press in question had one of the best years in its history.  But when they hired a permanent Director, he was passed over in favor of someone else.  Unlike me, he was OK with it, and worked to get the new person settled in.  Then we went on vacation, and on our first day back to work, the new person called him in to tell him his job had been eliminated, and he would be finished by the end of that month.

This stunk, big-time.  But after looking into it, we realized that we could not afford to mount a legal fight, especially just for the satisfaction.  So we tried to figure out how to move on.

The Tim found two jobs - one was a part-time bookseller position at Barnes & Noble, the store in question being very close to our house.  The other was as a one year, permanent substitute as a fifth-grade teacher in one of the Philadelphia public schools.  He would teach all day, work in the evenings, and all day on Sundays.  And though he loved the teaching job as much as the bookstore job, in order to do that, he would have had to return to school for his teaching certificate, and then start at the bottom of the pecking order for seniority.  He decided that he wasn't up for that, so signed on at the end of the school year to work full-time at the bookstore.

All of these years later, he is still there.  He is now one of the Assistant Store Managers.  He loves it, and they [apparently] think he does a good job.  Working at Barnes & Noble has meant that we could pay our mortgage, stay in our house, pay our bills, and sometimes take a wonderful vacation.  They have treated him well, providing benefits that are much better than ones I've had from my two most recent employers.

Why am I telling you this?  Because I think it's important to remember, when you read about MegaStores making it more and more difficult for small businesses, that it does not mean evil is taking over our lives.  In the case of bookstores, just because one was local and independent, did not mean it was worthwhile.  But unfortunately, some really good ones got lost, and are still getting lost, in the shuffle, and not always because of high rents, like the article mentioned above is saying.

And I would also ask you to remember that for some of us, MegaStores have been a godsend.  And when you seek out a local store someplace - which you SHOULD DO, remember that we do not live in a perfect world, where the combination of both things would mean we could always find everything, every time we were looking.

For me, most of the time, I'm "staying with the one who brung me."

Anticipation and Celebration

December is all about anticipation for me.  Christmastime is my favorite time of the year, and I think part of it is that it's nearly an entire month of happy anticipation, followed by celebration.

A lot of people don't enjoy December, Christmastime, or anything about it. Which is up to them, though it really annoys me when they have to tell you every single time you see them or talk to them.  We all know someone who falls into this category, and we all have to listen to them, regardless of our feelings about things.

It occurred to me today that for a lot of aspects of my life, I have decided for myself the way things are, and I work hard to follow my patterns and beliefs that I have devised.  I am also good at compartmentalizing things.  For instance, when Christmas decorations go up at stores immediately after Halloween, I have no trouble ignoring them altogether.  Because Thanksgiving comes first, and should never be eclipsed by Christmas, as far as my beliefs go, so those way-too-early decorations are compartmentalized in a place where they are completely ignored.  I can then easily enjoy Halloween, anticipate and enjoy Thanksgiving, and only then give any serious attention to Christmastime.

It's all part of my own "rules" and it works for me.  I guess I enjoy holidays so much, that I don't want any of them to be cheated out of their special-ness.

This year, I'm not going to go out of my way to be rude, but I'm going to ignore the  holiday grouches.  They can be miserable, angry, frustrated, or morally superior to their hearts' content, and I am not going to stick around for it.  Life is too short to allow others with no Christmas spirit to decide the atmosphere for everyone.

Christmastime only comes around once a year.  And every bit of it is worth my time.

Stuff

I gotta tell you, these stupid shingles are killing me!  I've certainly had my share of painful experiences in my life, but these win the prize.  Geez.  On the plus side, I am getting better.  So - theoretically at least - I should feel even better by this time next week.  Or someone will pay.

I have not knit a stitch this week.  Mostly because I am truly wiped out when I get home from work.  But I have plans.  And yarn.  So it's just a matter of time.

There is a woman I know who is overall fairly nice, and she has a good sense of humor, but she is recently driving me crazy.  First of all, every other word out of her mouth is the f-word, and I'm not a big fan of that word.  However, since it's everywhere, that's not the main problem.  The main problem is that she is one of those parents whose kid is the smartest, prettiest, nicest, whatever-ist, and the people at the kid's [very expensive, private] school (that she manages to mention in every conversation), aren't teaching and doing things the way she  thinks they should be.  This can be a problem.  If it is actually the case.  But her latest thing is that her kid was caught skipping school, and now has detention for three days.  During which, instead of doing her homework, she has to work on an essay explaining why kids shouldn't skip school.  But the kid finds this boring, and the woman is incensed that they don't give her something "better" to do.  On my best days, I don't have a lot of patience for this kind of crap, but I think not feeling great is making me worse.  Clearly I need to avoid talking to, or ready any Facebook posts from this woman, at least for a while.

I have been reading the same book for almost a month now.  It's not that long, and it's very interesting, but I don't seem to make any progress of note.  I have a little more than 100 pages left, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.  But I have no idea why it is going so slowly.  Oh well.

Summer seems to have returned here for the week.  I want to know who said that was OK.  ;-)

One of my nieces is furloughed due to the government shutdown.  So she is using the time to decorate her house for Halloween.  She loves Halloween, and usually goes all out, but I think this year, it's gonna be even more amazing.  She seems to have found a way to make lemonade out of that lemon.

On October 19, Dug and I will be taking part in the Mutt Strut, hoping to raise money for homeless animals.  The sponsoring organization, PAWS, is the only no-kill shelter in the city, and they have a wonderful spay/neuter wellness clinic not far from our house.  If I ever get my act together, I'd like to volunteer there.  In any event, if for some reason you have some cash and can't think of what to do with it, you can certainly help out here.

Does anyone like any of the new shows this year?  To be honest, I haven't seen many of them, but on the other hand, I haven't noticed any that seem like things I MUST watch.  So feel free to offer suggestions.

The Tim is on vacation this week.  I think he is enjoying it especially, since he has the days to himself, since I am back at work.  I can appreciate that, but having used all of my sick leave and a little bit of the tiny amount of vacation that I have last week, I will admit to being jealous.  I think "vacation" is one of the best words, in any language!

And, finally, that's all for now.  I'm sure that if you have bothered to keep reading, you are pretty happy right about now.  That's fine.  I just wanted to get it all off my chest.

Lovely Links

So like most people, I spent some time poking around to see what I wanted to use once Google Reader bit the dust.  Granted, I didn't do as much research as a lot of other people seemed to - what with being lazy and impatient - but I ended up creating accounts at both Feedly and Bloglovin.  Lately, I've been checking Bloglovin more regularly, mostly because I actually found it easier to organize things.  But who knows, tomorrow I may change my mind altogether.

In the meantime, one day this past weekend I was poking around, and clicked on the links for other blogs - you know, "Most Popular, Favorites" or whatever they call them on various sites.  And I've come across some new things that I have added to my regular reads.  Then lately, I've found some things I really like on both the old and new regular reads.   So I thought I'd share them with you.

A regular read of mine is Mereknits, and today she posted about something called Yarn Alive.  I know I have some things to contribute, so I hope you will, too!

I also *heart* a site that is new to me, We Heart This.

How many times have you or someone you know been overrun with the success of their zucchini plants?  I had a co-worker who used to put some zucchini on porches in her neighborhood at night, she had so much (and that way, she avoided people saying "no thanks")!  Anyway, I like zucchini, and I also like zucchini bread.  But here's a recipe I'm really anxious to try, because I think it would really be yummy, and add a new dimension to regular zucchini bread!  (Watch this be the year of the Great Zucchini Die-Off or something, now that I really want some ...)

Speaking of yummy baked goods, Marie at Cats and Books etc. shared this recipe given to her mother by one of her co-workers, and it's going on my to-make list as well.

Kim has asked for "audience participation" in her last couple of blog posts, and since I am a sucker for those kinds of things, of course I responded - even if not many others did.  But I think it would be a fun thing to try from time to time.  And there's still time to respond to her first two questions, if you want to join in!

What about you - and good things to share lately?