16 November 2015

Well, That Was Stupid

Most of the time, I would like to think that when I write a post here, or on Facebook, or send an e-mail, that it is something clear and [probably?] sensible.  I don't go out of my way to cause controversy, because a) I don't feel like creating controversy for the sake of it, b) I don't feel those are appropriate platforms, and c) because, frankly, unless I am engaged person-to-person with someone, I don't care to drag things out online (I don't like it in person, either, but I think it's easier to contain.)

Yesterday, I posted this on Facebook, thinking it was a relatively benign thing to say:

"This morning I woke up feeling really sick (thanks, Obama), so maybe I am feeling extra cranky (though I'm not sure that is possible), but wow people are being worse than usual.
I have seen at least three posts where someone has asked others to pray for the victims of the attacks in Paris, etc. And then barrages of commenters lambasting them because praying does nothing, prayer is stupid, prayer causes cancer (OK I added that to see if you were paying attention).
Everyone deals with tragedy and sadness in their own way. If you do not believe in prayer, then ignore that post. It doesn't offend the person who posted, and it doesn't make you look like the kind of person you would normally be criticizing big time.
Rant over. (This one, at least. For right now.) Back to my box of tissues and my cough drops."

Well, That Was Stupid.

What I was trying to say was that, if you don't pray/believe in prayer or a higher being, are opposed to organized religion, etc., just move on rather than attack the person who posted the original thought.  And that was really what I meant.  I don't know about you, but on Facebook and plenty of other places - as well as in my daily life - I scroll past/ignore so many things people say.  I consider myself to be a pretty tolerant person, and really only use Facebook and other social media to have fun and to see what with up for my friends and family.  It's fun and for a lot of family members especially, would be the only way I would ever know if they were still among the living ...

Anyway, I got a couple of funny comments from a friend, and a lovely comment from another friend who is actively atheist, and generally grumpy.  She basically said (I'm paraphrasing here) that when people would say, "I'm praying for you," she used to be really obnoxious and rude in response.  Then she finally realized that they were being nice, and wishing her well.  So now she says "Thank you" and moves on.  

She *got* exactly what I meant. 

Someone else though, took it to another level, talking about how she has been nice to people about it and they try to convert her, etc.  I replied that I was talking about something completely different, but she didn't let go, and railed on about people preaching to her and not leaving her alone.  

I truly only meant in my post that I wished people would allow other their opinions, and if they don't agree, rather than attacking them, move on.  I think political, social, religious discourse all have a proper place and time, but should try as hard as possible to remain civil.  I'm not perfect, but 99% of the time, I keep my thoughts to myself when someone posts something I find ridiculous, stupid, annoying, etc.  Because again, I use social media for fun and for actual exposure to others, and decide who does or does not seem to be someone I want to be in touch with on a regular basis.

That is why my post made me realize - Well, That Was Stupid.  Look what I said.  Look where I said it.  

I still believe what I said in the post, in case you were wondering.  A lot of you probably don't.  Fine with me.  Let's agree or disagree, but let's also pay attention to what people are *actually* trying to say, not what we decide they must be saying.  

Do me a favor, will you?  If this post offends you to the point where you feel the need to go on and on and on, please just do that in your head.  I'm sorry I opened my mouth in the first place, but there you go ...

*by the way, I like to "blame Obama" for everything ... since everyone else does!  ;-)

NaBloPoMo Day #16

1 comment:

Araignee said...

I rarely post anything on Facebook (or Ravelry for that matter) anymore because most of the people that I know are pretty much idiots. Oh....that's harsh but people will post things that they would never say outloud. I live by the rule if you can't say something nice don't say anything.