12 November 2015

The Tim Is a Problem, People

Before I say anything else, please be aware that I know that what I am about to say is what my sister Mary Ellen would call a "White Man's Problem."  I know there are bigger, more serious things for all of us to think about, deal with, and work to solve.  But The Tim is my current issue, so he is the topic of this post.

The Tim is a lovely person, for the most part.  Like all of us, he has flaws and problems, but he is a good person and much more of a kind human than I can ever hope to be.  And I have to say, he excels at gift-giving.  He chooses great gifts, and always seems to have ideas.

This is largely because I am simple to buy a gift for - as a matter of fact, my mother used to claim that even if "a box of sh*t was wrapped up, it would still be a present, and you [me] would be happy."  Not far from the truth.  But The Tim always gives nice gifts that show that he took the time and made an effort to get things he knows I like.

I am a person who truly LOVES to give gifts!  Small gifts, big gifts, silly gifts - if I know someone will like something, I can't wait to give it to them.  And giving gifts to my loved ones is even better.

And here, my friends, is where The Tim is a problem.  He is one of those people who, if there is something he'd like to have, and it is affordable, goes ahead and buys it.  Making it very hard to buy him a gift.

Our anniversary is October 28.  His birthday is November 18.  Christmas is December 25.  You can see why this is frustrating for me.

He is extremely appreciative of knitted gifts.  But he has told me that he has enough socks, scarves, hats, and mittens and doesn't want/need more.  He buys his own clothes.  He works in a bookstore where he gets a nice discount, so buying him books, CDs, etc. is out since he already has the ones he wants.  A few years back, I was thrilled when I thought to get him an MP3 player.  That has since died, and he replaced it himself.  He likes cooking and baking, but there are only so many gadgets or cookbooks that you can buy, and even more importantly, that we have room to store in our small house.

We aren't talking about someone who is interested in many "guy" things - sports, cars, or the like.  Occasionally, he will tell me something specific to get.   Other times, he'll hand me something, and say "give this to me for my birthday" etc., Which is great, since I know it's something he really wants.  But it certainly spoils any surprises or mystery surrounding gifts.

And so, here I am, less than a week away from his birthday.  I have purchased one thing he specifically requested, but am saving that for Christmas, since it was kind of a big-ticket item.  I told him I'd take him out to dinner, and that will be fun.

But having presents to wrap is a whole lot more fun, if you ask me.

White Man's/Woman's Problem, indeed.  :-)

NaBloPoMo Day #12


Araignee said...

We are reversed. The Mister starts making out his gift list like a crazed little kid months before any big event. Me, I never want anything because I already own too much of everything. My rule is if you can't eat it, burn it, smoke it or drink it-I don't want it. Consumables only.

Kim in Oregon said...

My Tim's birthday is 11/20 so I feel your pain (our anniv is in June though). This year for birthday he is getting tickets to the Bejing Acrobats' show in January (and hand knit Christmas stockings). Christmas he is getting mementos from our trip to New Zealand--books! So I can't help you at all!

Wanderingcatstudio said...

I have a similar issue with the Dave. I always try to make him socks, but I like to have something bigger too. this tough because he has so much, and what he doesn't is usually to expensive. Something that might work is concert/Event tickets - even if it's a few months off, getting the tickets for something gives the "present" to unwrap plus the excitement of something to look forward to

sprite said...

Rudi has a similar fault. I've stopped buying far in advance for that reason, but you're right, it does amp up the stress levels. As Kim mentioned, tickets to something are always nice. Does he enjoy concerts or plays or something like that? I wish you luck in figuring things out.

Marie said...

I ask my husband what he wants for his birthday or Christmas, and he invariably says, "I don't know." This is not helpful.

elns said...

Wait a minute are we married to the same person with different names? What kind of Lifetime Channel show are we trapped in? ;) Just kidding, but this feels really familiar. I do buy him boring predictable clothing since he rarely shops for his own clothes anymore, mainly due to time constraints.

Honestly, you are a better partner than me, because some years, times because of this quandry, I don't try so hard.

Anyhow, some of the things that he's appreciated and found "different" were services. Mine isn't into massage, but he liked it when I got him a car detailing package. I know, sounds boring, but it's something he won't nec. pay for himself. Also tickets to something he likes? Imax movie opening day, a music show or play? A tour of some sort?

Thats all I got, good luck.

Caffeine Girl said...

My husband is the exact same way. I pick up few little things for him to open and that's all I do. I don't worry about it anymore. If it doesn't matter to the guys, why should we drive ourselves crazy?

Kym said...

Oh, man. . . my husband's birthday is December 20 . . . so I get the "stacking up" issue. Sadly, I have no good solutions . . . (hoping to get some by reading your comments!).

Lorraine said...

Bridget- If I knit 100 pairs of socks for FC it wouldn't be enough.

I, otoh, purchase my own Christmas and BD gifts so I am assured of getting what I want.

Bonny said...

I can see that this might be a "First World Problem" but it's still a problem if you really enjoy giving gifts. My husband John is exactly like The Tim, and what's worked for me is to give him "experiences" instead of material things. One year it was a balloon ride, and another year I got him a Formula I driving weekend at Pocono Raceway. Some of the things on this site are $$$ but they might provide inspiration: http://www.cloud9living.com/philadelphia I don't always have big ideas for John, so sometimes I give him a personalized calendar or a photo enlargement for his office; other times we get one big thing for the house and call it our joint Christmas present. Last year it was a stained glass piece, and this year it will be a new mattress. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I think we are married to the same man.

But, really ... I am that same woman. Steve and I finally decided to stop doing presents and giving experiences. We go on mini vacations for birthdays and anniversaries.

I hope Tim has a GREAT birthday. He sounds like an amazing guy.

KSD said...

My father was EXACTLY like that. And I'm like you in the enjoying-giving-thing. I'm sure inspiration will strike soon. If you'd like, I can send him a University of Georgia can coozy or something.