The other night, The Tim and were talking - as we usually don't because I am often ranting and he is ignoring me - because we had been watching a news story about a woman who had been killed in a car accident, and there was now a huge shrine at the spot where the accident had occurred. The reporter was spinning it like it was the Most. Meaningful. Thing. And The Tim said to me, "Are you writing in to the station about this?"
He of course was joking, but it's because he knows there are certain things that just set me off on a course that takes along time to come back around before the journey ends. As I'm sure you know if you read my blog, or even more so if you know me in person, I have many opinions, some extremely unpopular because they seem uncaring and others because of my intense dislike for others that most people seem to like. Such is life. No one should feel that they have to go along with what everyone else thinks because others will be upset. And yet so many do, or would rather be miserable than express an opinion.
Anyway, our initial discussion led to many other topics, and The Tim said to me, "You should share some of these golden nuggets on your blog, I'm sure others would find them ... fascinating?" Well, the joke's on him, 'cause that is just exactly what I am doing. You are under no obligation to keep reading, comment, or even care, but here we go.
There are two specific cases where I have left specific threats instructions for The Tim should my demise occur prior to his shuffle off this mortal coil:
1. In the hopefully-never-to-occur event that I die in any way unjustly or unfairly, such as murder, car accident, falling off a poorly constructed roof, etc., he is to not allow and/or is to destroy any tributes at my home or the scene of the event. You know, candles, balloons, teddy bears, t-shirts with my photo - we've all seen it. These offend me on every level. I know people are trying to be kind, to grieve, etc. but NO.
2. Apparently it is not uncommon for you or your ancestors to be baptized into the Mormon Church even when dead. This is also highly offensive to me. No one who has passed should have anyone living decide their religion for any reason. If one wants to be Mormon, Presbyterian, Catholic, Scientologist, or Shinto, they can decide that when alive. The dead should be left to their beliefs when alive, no matter how wrong we the living think they might have been.
My instructions to The Tim in these cases are that should he allow either of these to occur, I will: a) come back from the dead, b) beat the s**t out of him, and c) return to being dead. This, he takes seriously.
*****
When we first moved to Philadelphia, we had a lovely apartment in an area of the city which was always very fancy - the well-to-do, well-known, better-than-us people had always lived there. Our apartment building, for instance, had a fourth floor that was nothing but "servant's quarters" with small cells containing a bed and wash basin for those who worked for the people who had lived in the apartments when they were originally built. Anyway, Christmas was near, and I talked The Tim into going to Christmas Mass with me at the Catholic Church up the street, which had been built by the benevolent rich people for their lowly Irish servants. It's a beautiful church, but as we were sitting there waiting for Mass to begin, The Tim pointed out a mural to me that showed the Nativity of Christ - which of course, was appropriate and fine - BUT which showed St. Patrick and St. Bridget worshiping at the creche!!! My indignation at this illustration still amuses him to this day. I know that to a lot of people, the existence of God at all is just a story, etc., and that is fine. But I think it's safe to say that if any of it did happen at all as we have been told, that NONE of the saints traveled BACK IN TIME to be there!!!
Somewhat related to the above, do not ever send me a Christmas card that shows Santa kneeling to the baby Jesus. Santa and Jesus have no business appearing together. Jesus is Jesus and Santa is Santa and though both are a part of Christmas, they have not, do not, and never should hang out together. This is a hill that I am willing to die on.
*****
And finally, I know that this one is something a lot of people support but - stop putting frilly headbands on baby girls so that GOD FORBID no one thinks they are a boy baby! I cannot tell you how stabby this makes me. First of all, if you insist on doing this, then it is only fair that you make baby boys wear full-fledged tool belts. Secondly, it's a g*****n baby, and does not need head ornamentation especially headbands or bows which don't even stay on properly because few babies are born with adult head of hair. And why is it a problem if a baby girl is not immediately recognizable from the way it is dressed? Why is it impossible for people to say, "What a cute baby" instead of "What a cute baby boy/girl/squirrel?" WHY DOES IT MATTER IT'S A BABY??? As someone who was occasionally mistaken for a boy as a young child, I'm here to say that my parents and myself were somehow able to continue living our lives in spite of such a tragic occurrence.
*****
I'm sure that you have your own opinions on all/some of these, or that you just don't care, which is fine. But just know I will fight you on all of them. 😀
Ask The Tim. He'll tell you.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
19 comments:
Yes, Ma'am!
(Besides, I agree on all three.)
I love this.
Having grown up with no religion in the house I really don't have a frame of reference on any of it. I just look on in amazement.
We have so many of those huge road side memorials down here that I swear at one time I thought about writing a coffee table book about them in the Wisconsin Death Trip type of genre. Don't even get me started on the memorial benches we have on the boardwalk. You can't even sit down from all the flowers and stuff hanging on them. It's crazy. No one wants to put their tired rump on someone's loved one.
Your post just made me laugh out loud today. Your stabby opinions sound a lot like mine.
And I had no idea that you could be baptized into a faith after you were already dead. The nuns that taught catechism were very firm that we needed to be ready at a moment’s notice to baptize a baby that might be dying, but once they were dead, too bad. Off to Limbo they go.
While I don't have an opinion one way or the other regarding "shrines," I also think that the Mormons' habit of baptizing non-Mormons after they die is incredibly offensive.
I also have very strong opinions, which Keith sometimes finds annoying, but I like other people who do, too. Keeps life interesting.
I hope you feel better. I'm still smiling.
well, that was a laugh out loud post....especially the baby girl headbands! I could never get that one, although I'm definitely not a frou-frou girly girl, nor is my daughter, and certainly not my DIL. Phew. Thank goodness. I'd hate it if I had had to fight that battle!!!
I am not fond of the road-side memorials, but mostly because people abandon them after a while and but instead of taking them down, they leave them and they end up looking like shabby garbage. I do agree that I don't want one if I die horrifically.
I've also instructed my mother and Dave that under no circumstances is my Aunt Cathy allowed to speak at my funeral. I am happy for others to practice their own religion, but I am staunchly atheist. And every funeral I've ever attended that Aunt Cathy has been to, she's made a speech all about her beliefs, and blah blah blah. People from her church also ALWAYS attend, even though they'd never met the dead person - that's just weird to me. I call them funeral groupies.
Also with you on the Santa/Jesus thing. That's just weird.
And baby headbands.... I have never understood them. They just look weird.
On a random note, Rudi's dad's family was able to escape the Netherlands during WWII because they (and their relatives back through time) converted from Judaism to Mormonism. (I wouldn't believe the story if it were someone else telling me the story.)
1. Not only do I detest the roadside memorials, I detest the car rear window memorials too. I am astonished when I see on a back window "RIP Aunt DeeDee 1955-2018" or "In Honor of Biff Budgewood, RIP August 18 2002". How very tacky.
2. No idea there were posthumous baptisms. I am atheist, as are my sons and husband. I was raised RC, one son was baptized as same. He keeps asking if there is a way to UNDO it.
3. My youngest son, Sam, was born with curly blond hair and huge blue-green eyes. Even when I dressed him in overalls with tool or train appliques, every single person asked "What is her name?" or said, "Aren't you a pretty little girl?" I don't mind the baby headbands too much, except that they always look itchy to me. But here's one for you: I personally know someone who used Scotch tape to fasten bows onto her baby's head. Now THAT is objectionable.
I am SO with you on headbands and other sex-organ-pseudo-specific paraphernalia on babies. For heaven's sake. Unless you're changing the baby's diaper yourself, what difference is it to you?
(On a similar subject, I loathe "gender reveal" parties. No, you can not reveal anyone's gender until that person has one. All you can do is identify physical characteristics at birth, which may or may not correspond at some later date to a cis identification.
(I'll stop growling now.)
You are RIGHT.
Bridget, I love yo and I love this post. I agree with the shrines to the dead. I think they are very weird and actually distracting when you drive, I mean who would want to cause another bad accident at the scene where one has already occurred? As for Santa and Jesus, I completely agree. I am completely against headbands on babies. Babies skulls are very fragile, I know I work on them all the time and tell every parent to take those horrible things off because they are compressing the very skulls I am trying to fix. I am sick of gender reveal parties and those ridiculous photos of pregnant moms and dads in fields? Okay I'm done.
I’m going to jump in here and say yes to having strong opinions on things. I agree with all of the things you mentioned, although they’re not my personal “start yelling” places. I know it’s not pc, but I get very upset about terrible parenting taking place. Like giving a baby Pepsi in their bottle. I will tell you what I think if I observe this. Yes, I actually saw this, but I was young and doubted myself. I’m over that, let me tell you. A lot of religious stuff is over my comfort line, especially making laws for everyone based on the unscientific views of the religious. Let’s base public policy on actual facts, please!
Okay, thanks for the invitation to rant.
Have a lovely day!
I live in fear that someday there will be a horrific accident in front of my house and I will end up with a rain-soaked/road weary giant teddy bear tacked to a cross with a headband of neon-colored plastic flowers right out my window.
We've already had several accidents. Thank goodness they have NOT been horrific (just loud).
LOL -- now I want to see a baby boy wearing a full toolbelt.
I am in total agreement with you about the majority of this stuff! The rest I am too lazy to have an opinion about. About which to have an opinion.
And I have many more things that set me off!
love the Santa and baby Jesus....that one cracked me up. I never know who the shrines are for on the side of the road...so it makes me wonder.
Wow, I wish you were around when I was growing up when the atmosphere was a very Catholic religion rule, as also the male half gets the first say, and kids should be seen but . . .ya. Children are on not allowed voice and many women either - unless they’re grumpy?
I’d love to be as outwardly disgruntled, have a voice, though I have worked on it, it hasn’t worked well so I pick my battles, my default mode is to think-on-it.
Could I have your husband next, after you kick the bucket? Though I feel I am older than you so, . . never mind.
You have gumption, and I do admire that, so keep on truckin’ in the blog, we all need someone to voice our concerns and inequalities.
The only thing I disagree on in your statement is that for funerals, it go on as however anyone wants it to be - for instance in mine, I’ll be dead so I won’t care.
Anonymously, Annette
Oops I put headbands on Al . But she had an unruly head of black hair at birth!!!
On the saint thing...it is fairly common in Italian paintings (of the Renaissance) to show all kinds of later saints at the nativity and even the patrons who paid for the painting to be included with those (wisemen/shepards) others. lol Oh and for Mary and Joseph etc to wear clothes from the time of painter and patron if for no reason other than not really knowing what was worn in 'biblical' times. I think we do the same in paintings today. The only one who usually has his costume right it John the Baptist, but that's because of the 'animal skin' clothing of being out in the wilderness?
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