Perspective on 2020

Well, to hear everyone else talk, the entire universe is anxious for 2020 to be over, and people are already celebrating today as much as tomorrow.  

Not me.  I think it's disingenuous to write off an entire year as terrible, because first of all, if you can do that, it means that you made it through the year.  Secondly, I don't want to live my life focusing on only what comes next.  If you only live in the future, you miss the good in the present.

(Also - remember people who kept saying "Oh my God, I can't wait for 2019 to be over - bring on 2020!  Well, watch what you wish for.)

In the overarching sense of time and this past year, of course it was tough.   And heartbreaking.  And frustrating.  And in so many ways, not good at all.  I don't know anyone who wanted the Covid-19 pandemic to happen, or who wants it to continue.  I'm not talking about that, because that is something that required a whole 'nother level of thought, behavior, and caring (or none, if you are certain people who shall not be named here because we all know who they are).

But guess what?  People still had birthdays.  Babies were still born.  Things could still be funny.  You were free to keep loving your family and your life.  Even at the worst of times, being around to experience all of it was better than the alternative.

At the beginning of the year, I choose the word "Attend" as my One Little Word.  Not in the sense of attending a party or a concert or whatever.  In the sense of pay attention, attend to the world and your life.  If anything, the lockdown and the pandemic only helped me with all of this.

When dear friends lost loved ones to Covid-19, I was able to feel their sorrow and do what I could through words, prayers, and actions to help.  It likely didn't help that much, but paying attention to their grief gave me the chance to know that they needed love and friendship more than ever.

Because none of us could really go anywhere, I learned to pay more attention to my everyday surroundings.  I noticed the true sweetness of not just my husband and our pets, and how we all *attended* to each other, but how the world outside, in our garden, or our neighborhood all attended to each other.  The birds sang no matter what, the squirrels chased each other up and down and all around for God knows what reasons.  Geese and sea gulls still flew past, making noise and headed someplace where they felt they needed to go.  Bugs and insects still flew around, to plants, flowers, and into the dirt to do all they things they need to do (even mosquitoes, my archenemies, goddammit!).  I spent more time walking around than ever before, *attending* to more because I wasn't involved in so much else that didn't and shouldn't really matter so much.

I appreciated the nice days when I could get outside for a nice walk.  I despaired of all the rainy days (there were way too many around here, while other places that needed it got none).  I still hated heat and humidity, and still wish(ed) for a decent winter with some snow.  I celebrated my birthday the first weekend of shutdown, and found ways to celebrate everything else as time continued.  

I learned that I disliked certain things and certain people even more than I believed I did.  (I won't go into that here, because a) you probably can guess some things, and b) knowing the others won't change your life for the better.)  I found truth in the feeling I always had that if I could ever retire, I'd be pretty darn content (nice to know, but unlikely to happen anytime, especially anytime soon).  It was frustrating to not be able to just say, "I think I'll go to ____" tomorrow and be able to do it, but it was/is rewarding to know that not only am I not sick from Covid, but that hopefully I didn't contribute to anyone else getting it.  

And don't forget - we voted and got rid of Donald Trump - a true highlight for me!

Don't get me wrong, it will be nice to be able to see my family who are all out-of-town sometime again, or spend a day at the shore in the summer, or even just decide that I'll walk into Center City and meet a friend for lunch.  But I have to be perfectly honest - I'm not sorry that the world slowed down and even if forced, other people had to start "attending."  

To paraphrase one of the songs from the musical "Wicked"

Who can say if I've been changed for the better ... but because this happened ... I have been changed for good.

Congratulate yourself because you made it to today.  Let yourself be sad for the losses, and happy for the good, no matter how small.  Thank whatever/whoever you believe in that 2020 is on its last day, and you are here for it.  Do it today, because when tomorrow comes, this will be the past.

Enjoy your New Year's Eve - drink a toast to this past year, and then look ahead and drink another one to 2021.  We can't know what it will be, but we'll all be there anyway.

Before I Forget ...

A bit before Christmas, my niece Amanda told me about an after-New Year's offer that I thought might be of interest to some of you.  

A few months ago, Amanda decided that she would give yoga a try, since it was something she could do at home during the pandemic, and did not require tons of special equipment.  She started following the YouTube channel Yoga with Adriene to try it out.  And she really enjoyed it.  As she told me, "It's not intimidating, and sometimes her dog interrupts, which is great."  (Can you tell we're related?)

In any case, Adriene is offering a special program to start 2021 with a fresh outlook.  It's free, and sounds like something that even beginners (like me) could do without a ton of difficulty.  So I thought I would share the link where you can get details and sign up, in the event that anyone else wants to give it a try.  

I would love it if I could get going on this, since my flexibility is pretty non-existent, and I also can't do a lot of high-impact exercise due to other issues.  Who knows, maybe I'll be able to keep up with it - or at least manage the 30 days!  (I hope so, I need to get myself back on track with moving around more.)

Please know that I get no compensation or anything for passing along the info, I just thought that since it was a free course, I'd let others in on it.  

 

Let me know if you decide to try it - we can compare notes as we go along.

Scenes from Christmas Day 2020

Hello there - I hope you are still enjoying your Christmastime.  We are definitely still taking advantage of the season.

Hamlet and Pip were worn out on Christmas Eve night, with all of the preparations finished and it was just time to wait for Santa.

(The Koodle was still eating dinner at this point, but trust me, shortly after joined Hamlet on the couch!)

Our Christmas Day was really nice, and lots of fun.  Everyone seemed very pleased with their gifts, and we had a lot of laughs watching Hamlet and the kitties deal with all of the excitement, wrapping paper, and treats.

The Tim's various "projects" were all finally finished, and we were able to decorate the tree.

Hamlet felt certain he could smell something that seemed an awful lot like treats in his package!

I ended up with two stockings - one from Santa, and one from The Tim with Rudolph on it, and a teddy bear like Mr. Bean's stuffed inside.  

Cream Puff celebrated his 60th birthday with a big red bow, and enjoyed hanging out with us and checking out the tree.

I received Cream Puff for Christmas when I was 4 years old, and we lived at 162 Park Avenue, Teaneck, New Jersey.  He has been my best, most steadfast friend since then, and though both of us are a little bit worse for the wear, I'm glad we got to celebrate this mileston together.  (Fun fact: he was the only one of my toys who ever called my parents by their first names.  I don't know why, and he's never really explained it. 😊)

We ate, and drank, and opened gifts and stockings, listened to Christmas music,  took a few walks with Hamlet, and had a wonderful yummy dinner fixed by The Tim.  Later in the evening, we celebrated with some tea and Christmas cookies.  Not a bad way to end a special day.

I hope all of you had a lovely day as well, whether or not you were celebrating the holiday.  

Christmas Day 2020

 

Merry Christmas to you and yours 

from everyone at our house!

"Until Then, We'll Have to Muddle Through Somehow"

Happy Christmas Eve!  One of my favorite days, filled with joy, anticipation, bustling around (though granted, this year, the "bustling" is at home), and thinking of those you love, both here and otherwise.  I am writing this post not just for myself, but also as the final entry in sprite's 2020 Virtual Advent Tour.

Whenever I hear the Christmas song, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," I think of two things: 1) the movie "Meet Me in St. Louis," where the song debuted, and 2) those I love, both here and gone.  I think it is one of the most bittersweet songs, period, whether or not it is Christmastime.

I don't know if you have seen the movie, but one of the main aspects of the plot is that a family has learned that they will be moving from their St. Louis home shortly before the 1904 World's Fair that will be held in St. Louis.  This sends various members of the family into a tailspin for several different reasons.  One of the family members (played by Judy Garland) sings the song to her younger sister (played by Margaret O'Brien).  The part that *always* gets me are these lines:

"Through the years, we all will be together,

If the fates allow.

Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow.

So, have yourself a merry little Christmas, now."

THIS.  None of us is guaranteed another Christmas.  *Every* Christmas is, unfortunately, someone's last one.  And that always hurts.  In my family, both of my parents were people who loved this holiday, especially my father.  Through many years of slim finances, questionable living conditions, and uncertain futures, Christmas was still special.  They have not been here to celebrate for a while, but nothing can take my memories away.  

More importantly, what and who is here today, right now, is what is important.  If you are reading this, you are here.  You may be missing someone, but you are here, and this is Christmas Eve.  Even if you are by yourself, you are here and you can love, and feel, and enjoy, whether or not anyone else is around.

People always say, "If I'd only known ... " Well, none of us knows.  We have right now, that is all that is certain.  It's Christmas Eve, maybe not like before, definitely not lilke ever again.  If you are feeling sad, I wish you joy again soon.  If you are feeling lonely, I hope you know you are loved.  If you are thinking it's all ruined because you can't do what you usually do, you are sorely mistaken.  Don't feel sorry for yourself.  Be glad that those you love are doing OK, and that to some extent, it's because of you and your actions.  

Muddle through.  Have a very merry, happy, loving Christmas.  Because in the end, it's your decision how you want this to be, and how you want to remember Christmas 2020.  Make it a memory of love, and one where you may have been inconvenienced, but in the end it was all OK.

That's all we can do.  It's all we should do.  

I hope you can move beyond your own self and your own feelings to enjoy what is happening and what you are doing for those you love.

So have yourself a merry little Christmas, now.