And Now We Start Over

 

Well. Welcome to the sh**show. Since we last "talked," things have gone downhill fast. Long story short (and it is a VERY long story!), Floor Guy turned out to be a) unreliable, b) unskilled, and c) a disaster. The last time he showed up, he said hi to Alfie, and Alfie growled at him and ran upstairs! As The Tim says, when Alfie turns on you, you're done.

So we are not only back to square one as far as finding another person for the floors project, the kitchen floor will have to be completely re-done. Which means something that we originally thought was not going to cost a huge chunk of money probably will. Sigh. But live and learn. And as The Tim says, this is the first time we've been left in the lurch, and we know a lot of people who have faced nothing but the lurch with their home projects. So we're moving on and hoping for the best. I already have another person coming on Monday to give us estimates, and another one on Wednesday. Please keep your fingers crossed we have success this time around. 

Needless to say, I've been in a tizzy lately, with anxiety ramping up, and I haven't really done much knitting at all. I've done a lot of reading, so all is not completely lost. And after much emotional eventage (not a word, but I'm using it), The Tim has convinced me that this is a part of life, and none of it means that our lives are ruined, or even that our house is ruined. So I'm talked down off the ledge and ready to see what's next.

*****

In other news, the plants that I have had in large pots in our garden since last year have done really well this year, even with the terrible heat. But since I have been conscientious about watering them, they have thrived. It makes me so happy, especially since in order to water them, I have go put on long pants, long sleeves, socks and shoes to go out into the garden, since there are so many mosquitoes I would otherwise seriously be covered in bites. It's been a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts though, since dressing in such hot clothes to water the plants has helped them thrive, so I dress in hot clothes to water the plants, etc. I'm looking forward to weather where I would be wearing long pants anyway, and won't have to change just to go into the garden!

I have been watching parts for the Democratic Convention and really enjoying it. I'm sure you can imagine how happy I was to hear the Obamas the other night, and you can also imagine that once again, it made me wish we were friends with them. 😂 After feeling so despondent for so long, I'm actually feeling hopeful that the Evil Orange One may be conquered. 

This past week we have had lovely weather, so my morning walks have been the best! I love coming back home and not being covered in sweat. And having the windows open with a breeze blowing through the house. Oh summer, why can't you be like this? We could be *such* friends!

I've been reading your blogs, but admittedly not been in the frame of mind to comment much. But it has helped me stay sane, so thank you for posting. 

Yesterday was my dad's, my father-in-law's, and our late kitty Tess' birthdays. Today is my sister Mary Ellen and brother-in-law Pat's 54th wedding anniversary. So there are things to celebrate during this time that has been otherwise stressful, and that is always a good thing. Though I realized the other day that the weekend after this one is already Labor Day weekend! That's always a reset for me, so I'm thinking of what I want to include in that, and since I enjoy making lists and then lists of the lists I make, that's pleasing me too. 

This is the first day in a long time that I haven't had a feeling of dread first thing on waking up. Getting rid of Floor Guy was one of the best decisions we have ever made. 

Onward!

Almost a Wrap

 

It's true. In a couple of days, we'll say goodbye to 2023, whether or not we want to do that. Whether it's been a good year, a bad year, or just a regular year, the next one is coming and will bring its own packaging along with it.

But before that happens, today is my niece Amanda's 50th birthday! She will be celebrating with her husband just the way she wants to, with a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. They have some favorite places there, and she said that rather than a party, going there was the best way she could imagine to welcome her fiftieth year. This pleases me, because she deserves to spend a special birthday in a special place. When you have a birthday so soon after Christmas, a lot of people just forget about it, because they are over celebrations, or they are busy looking forward to New Year's Eve. So I can't wait to hear about her wonderful birthday weekend!

Also today is Holiday Cheeseball making day! I usually make it during the week between Christmas and New Year's, and since I finally found some nice blue cheese (why was that so hard this year??), today it will happen and it will have a couple of days to blend the flavors before we break into it for New Year's Eve.

Am I happy to see the year end? This year has been a mix of good and bad, but the most important and best part of it is that we have been together all year, and we added Miss Esmeralda to our family. Any year that we are all still together is a good year, no matter what else does or does not happen. So I'm not necessarily happy to move on to the new year because there are no guarantees it will be the same in that regard. We have to hope for the best.

Having said that, no year is all good or all bad, so 2024 will bring what it wants to bring. I hope it will be mostly good things, but I have no expectations that it will be perfect. I already know of a couple of things that I am happily anticipating, and that's always a good way to start a new year.

Here's hoping that the remainder of 2023 will be kind to you and that at a minimum, most of 2024 will have good things coming your way.

Oh and also - enjoy New Year's Eve, because:

12/31/23

Right??? 

Perspective on 2020

Well, to hear everyone else talk, the entire universe is anxious for 2020 to be over, and people are already celebrating today as much as tomorrow.  

Not me.  I think it's disingenuous to write off an entire year as terrible, because first of all, if you can do that, it means that you made it through the year.  Secondly, I don't want to live my life focusing on only what comes next.  If you only live in the future, you miss the good in the present.

(Also - remember people who kept saying "Oh my God, I can't wait for 2019 to be over - bring on 2020!  Well, watch what you wish for.)

In the overarching sense of time and this past year, of course it was tough.   And heartbreaking.  And frustrating.  And in so many ways, not good at all.  I don't know anyone who wanted the Covid-19 pandemic to happen, or who wants it to continue.  I'm not talking about that, because that is something that required a whole 'nother level of thought, behavior, and caring (or none, if you are certain people who shall not be named here because we all know who they are).

But guess what?  People still had birthdays.  Babies were still born.  Things could still be funny.  You were free to keep loving your family and your life.  Even at the worst of times, being around to experience all of it was better than the alternative.

At the beginning of the year, I choose the word "Attend" as my One Little Word.  Not in the sense of attending a party or a concert or whatever.  In the sense of pay attention, attend to the world and your life.  If anything, the lockdown and the pandemic only helped me with all of this.

When dear friends lost loved ones to Covid-19, I was able to feel their sorrow and do what I could through words, prayers, and actions to help.  It likely didn't help that much, but paying attention to their grief gave me the chance to know that they needed love and friendship more than ever.

Because none of us could really go anywhere, I learned to pay more attention to my everyday surroundings.  I noticed the true sweetness of not just my husband and our pets, and how we all *attended* to each other, but how the world outside, in our garden, or our neighborhood all attended to each other.  The birds sang no matter what, the squirrels chased each other up and down and all around for God knows what reasons.  Geese and sea gulls still flew past, making noise and headed someplace where they felt they needed to go.  Bugs and insects still flew around, to plants, flowers, and into the dirt to do all they things they need to do (even mosquitoes, my archenemies, goddammit!).  I spent more time walking around than ever before, *attending* to more because I wasn't involved in so much else that didn't and shouldn't really matter so much.

I appreciated the nice days when I could get outside for a nice walk.  I despaired of all the rainy days (there were way too many around here, while other places that needed it got none).  I still hated heat and humidity, and still wish(ed) for a decent winter with some snow.  I celebrated my birthday the first weekend of shutdown, and found ways to celebrate everything else as time continued.  

I learned that I disliked certain things and certain people even more than I believed I did.  (I won't go into that here, because a) you probably can guess some things, and b) knowing the others won't change your life for the better.)  I found truth in the feeling I always had that if I could ever retire, I'd be pretty darn content (nice to know, but unlikely to happen anytime, especially anytime soon).  It was frustrating to not be able to just say, "I think I'll go to ____" tomorrow and be able to do it, but it was/is rewarding to know that not only am I not sick from Covid, but that hopefully I didn't contribute to anyone else getting it.  

And don't forget - we voted and got rid of Donald Trump - a true highlight for me!

Don't get me wrong, it will be nice to be able to see my family who are all out-of-town sometime again, or spend a day at the shore in the summer, or even just decide that I'll walk into Center City and meet a friend for lunch.  But I have to be perfectly honest - I'm not sorry that the world slowed down and even if forced, other people had to start "attending."  

To paraphrase one of the songs from the musical "Wicked"

Who can say if I've been changed for the better ... but because this happened ... I have been changed for good.

Congratulate yourself because you made it to today.  Let yourself be sad for the losses, and happy for the good, no matter how small.  Thank whatever/whoever you believe in that 2020 is on its last day, and you are here for it.  Do it today, because when tomorrow comes, this will be the past.

Enjoy your New Year's Eve - drink a toast to this past year, and then look ahead and drink another one to 2021.  We can't know what it will be, but we'll all be there anyway.

Be Brave

If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello 

-- Paulo Coehlo

Oh 2019, you weren't the worst year ever, but you sure weren't the best one, either.  All the same, I'm sorry to say goodbye to you, as I do not like most goodbyes, particularly those that can put me further away from those that meant something to me, or things and places that I love.  

I really do wish that I could say it's been a wonderful year, but well, it just hasn't.  I'm ending the year feeling that a lot of things that weren't that great to start are not getting better, and probably won't, if I'm being realistic.  At least not anytime soon.  Which is disheartening, but so much of it is seriously out of my control, that I need to learn to accept it the best I can for now.

Instead, I want to think about the things I can control in my life, and the good things that have happened, even if they didn't seem to be the overarching moments in my immediate memory.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again - no year is all bad or all good.  

And so, my hope for all of us is that we will give 2019 a break, because there were in fact moments of joy and fun and happiness, even if those are not the ones that immediately place themselves in the front of our memories. 

We're all still here.  That's what matters.  I hope your new hello will make you smile more than anything else in the next year.

The Good, the Bad

Hello there - I meant to write a post in the past couple of days, but got waylaid by some other stuff that needed more immediate attention.  But things have settled at least for the moment, so let's discuss some good things and some bad things, shall we?

Good things first!  On Saturday of this past weekend, I bound off the Scattered Wishes shawl!  Here it is in a state of unblocked, unwoven ended-ness:

Sunday morning I wove in the ends, and blocked it later in the day.  Stay tuned for an upcoming FO post about this one.  Here it is, folded up waiting for blocking:

It's not perfect on the lace border, but it's just fine as far as I'm concerned.  I fudged a couple of things but it's not that noticeable, and even if it is, you have to be mighty close and looking at each stitch to tell.  My plan to only do two rows of the lace whenever I sat down to work on it was the answer to my problems with the lace.  I'm waiting for a nice day when I can get a really good picture for a project post on it.

Another good thing over the weekend:

Sticky buns!  A bakery near our house has these on weekend mornings, and every once in a great while we treat ourselves to one.  These were nice and warm from the bakery, and soooooo yummy!  We are suckers for good sticky buns, let me tell you.

So the weekend was successful.  I am also not that far from finishing the pair of socks I'm knitting - I'm at the decreases for the heel gusset, and then will be able to sail along on the foot and toe, and another pair will be in the books!  Then I can start on my project for Dee and Vera's Fall KAL.  I need to finalize what I want to knit, but it's narrowed down to three possibilities, so I'll just need to decide what works best with the yarn I want to use.

That's all good.  :-)

Then there's the Bad.  Sigh.  Earthquakes and hurricanes.  With not even a breather in between!  This morning on the news, the death toll from yesterday's earthquake in Mexico City was already in the hundreds, with a lot more searching to be done.  I've never experienced an earthquake of any note (gratefully!), but I can only imagine the fear and horror.  

There are wildfires in the west, some barely being controlled, that are destroying forests, lands, homes, and habitat.  Some areas have been suffering from drought and so fighting the flames becomes even  more difficult and unmanageable.

And then, Hurricane Maria heading right for my beloved Puerto Rico makes me incredibly sad.  I keep thinking of the horses, chickens, iguanas, and other animals on Palomino Island.  My hope is that they were able to move the horses somewhere else that is safer, but I also realize they do not have a ton of resources to work with, and will concentrate on people first.

Places right on the water will be especially hard hit, and likely destroyed.

And I keep wondering how people will survive and rebuild.  I know they will want to, since it's their home and their lives, but they are having so many financial issues to start with, there isn't a lot of anything else to use for a jumping off point.  

It's overwhelming when there is just one terrible thing happening - but there have been two earthquakes in Mexico in only a few weeks, and then Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and now Maria all in a row.  And OK, technically, Hurricane Jose has been riling up the waters and flooding along the East Coast, which is not good, but at least it's not as destructive as the others are/have been.  

We can only do so much to help, but it's better than nothing.  And we don't even have the example of compassionate leadership for direction and comfort to make us feel like can and do and will help.  Instead we are stuck with someone who wouldn't know what compassion and empathy were if they were standing in front of him personified.  It boggles my mind that people can exist who are like that, but we have our very own shining star in that arena.

Ugh.  It's up to the rest of us to do what we can, however we can, and when we can.  We're the ones who need to act and do a Good Thing.

November Is Ending

So yes, today is the last day in November, that last day of NaBloPoMo.  I'm happy that I decided to play along again this year.  The only time it was a challenge to post was last weekend, when I was sick, and then I realized that my post saying I couldn't say much counted ... :-)  But seriously, I enjoyed it.  I like that it forced me to sit down and actually organize thoughts and turn them into posts.  I compose so many posts in my head that never actually see the light of day.

I was thinking about this November, though, and it feels like the beginning of the month was so long ago.  Everyone was so excited about the upcoming election.  I remember when I actually cast my vote, I teared up, because I never ever thought that during my lifetime, I would be able to vote for a woman to be President.  And though I have no immediate plans to depart from this vale of tears, I do sometimes feel that it might have been my one and only time.  After Election Day, it just all seemed so sad, then upsetting, then infuriating.  I feel like it overshadowed any of  the good that happened.  Which is too bad.

Because there was good.  People found new ways to connect with each other.  Birthdays and anniversaries were celebrated.  Thanksgiving showed up right on time and helped to remind us of the importance of being in the present.  Several people were motivated to some sort of activism, which is never a bad thing when you are standing up for your beliefs.  Fall colors surrounded us, reminding everyone that ultimately, we are not the ones in charge.  For all of the horrific things that happened, good people pulled together and helped.  And if you are reading this, it means you woke up on the alive side of things, which is always a good thing.

Part of me is sorry to see November leave, because usually it's a month I really enjoy.  Though I had happy times related to special events, I think this year I'm ready for it to move along.  I sincerely want to be here to see it again next year, and hope that it will go back to being the kind of month it usually has been.

Goodbye, November.  I hope during the next year you have the chance to get over the turbulence of this year, and can come back to us ready to be enjoyed.

May you always have walls for the winds,

a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,

laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,

and all your heart may desire.

-- an Irish blessing

Thanks to all of you for stopping by and reading this month (and always, of course).  Part of the fun of NaBloPoMo is hearing from you more often than I might otherwise.

On to December, with hopes for the best it can bring to us!

Bad Surprise, Good Surprise

As I was walking to work today, all of a sudden I started crying.  I could not for the life of me figure out why.  I am a person who lives with a low level of depression on my best days, and I am an easy crier, but I always know *what* is causing the tears, good or bad.  It really surprised me, and I told myself to pull it together and gave myself a little pep talk, and I was fine again.

I don't remember ever crying without being conscious of why I was crying.  For a couple of minutes, I wondered if something had happened which I'd blocked and was suddenly reminded of it, but if so, it remained blocked even then.

Then I told myself that it was probably Obama's fault.  I realized I have only a year left to blame him for things, so I've gotta really pick up the pace.

Thanks, Obama.

;-)

Continuing on my walk, I cut through Rittenhouse Square, because a) it's on the way, b) it's lovely, and c) there are usually lots of people walking their dogs.  I noticed a stroller parked on the grass, and a young woman playing with a Bernese Mountain Dog, and running back and forth to the stroller.  The dog was loving it, the woman looked happy, and you could hear a baby laughing, in that way babies have that make them sound kinda like dirty old men.

When I got to where they were, I told the woman that I was happy to see someone with a baby still enjoying and interacting with their dog.  So many people walk their dogs while walking with a stroller, and seem completely annoyed by the dog's existence, or desire to sniff things.  She said that when she was pregnant, everyone told her that she should get rid of the dog, and/or that she would ignore the dog because the baby would be more important.  She said that really upset her, and that it's never once occurred to her to do anything differently, because her husband and she decided to "fit the baby into their life," not have the world stop because of the baby.  (I immediately wanted to nominate this woman for a Nobel Prize or the Medal of Freedom or something like that.)

I think she said the baby was 8 months old, and boy was she a cutie - red hair, and a big smile.  Whenever the dog would come near here, she would squeal with joy, which also clearly pleased the dog.  The little girl's name was Jane, which I like.  It's an old-fashioned, but nice name, not like Hildegard or something.  (Apologies if your name is Hildegard, I'm sure you are a lovely person.)  The dog's name was Colonel.  They were adorable together.  The woman said that there were days when she gets nothing accomplished because they are both so great, she just enjoys being with them.

I'm glad the good surprise came after the bad one.  And I'm glad there are people like this woman and her husband.  I hope the woman's sister is really annoyed that her prediction proved wrong ...

Happy NaBloPoMo Day 2!  Here is a picture of my great-niece Penn dressed as a mummy for Halloween.

The Good, The Bad, The Annoying

Let's see what is going on with me.

The Good:  I am off work until Wednesday of next week.

The Bad:  It's too hot and humid today to go outside unless you have to.

The Annoying:  I was told I had no vacation at all for this fiscal year, after my surgery last year.  Then I got a message Tuesday, saying that I would lose 5 accrued days if I didn't take them by June 30.  But of course, everyone else had planned their vacations.  So I have these days, plus a day next week.  This after a year of trying to get someone in HR to give me details of whether or not I had time off at all.

The Good:  Pip is home from the animal hospital, and feeling better.

The Bad:  He was at the Veterinary Hospital of the U of Pennsylvania for four days last week for a urethral blockage.  

The Annoying:  He is no longer friends with me since I am the one giving him his medications. 

The Good:  The Tim only has to be at work until 2:00 today, and is off tomorrow.

The Bad:  I have a dr appt at 4:40, so I can't just simply hang out with him when he gets home.

The Annoying:  My appt was originally set for a few weeks ago, in the a.m., but a co-worker said she would be out.  I switched it, and of course she was there that day.  Now I'll be lucky if I get home by 6:00 p.m. tonight.

The Good:  Tomorrow is World Wide Knit in Public Day.

The Bad:  It's supposed to be miserably hot and humid.

The Annoying:  Due to the weather and the fact that my elbow has been bothering me lately if I knit for more than 5 minutes, I'll miss the get-together.

The Good:  I have managed to get myself back into exercising regularly, even if not doing heavy-duty workouts yet.

The Bad:  I've lost so much of the progress I'd made over the past couple of years.

The Annoying:  I have to break down and get a new exercise mat, since Pip did a MAJOR pee on my current one this morning.  It soaked in to the foam, which is old and crumbling anyway.

I'm sure I could go on, but the important thing is that I know that I am lucky and that there are many more good things in my life that I could list than there are bad.  Though I think that sometimes it makes the bad/annoying things seem even worse than they are.  I mean, look at the list above - I have nothing to really complain about, right?

I hope you are able to find the good things as well.  Have a lovely weekend, and stay cool!