So Long 2021

Just like always on December 31, here we are on the last day of the year.  I always see it as bittersweet, because you can't help but think of what was, what wasn't, and what could/should have been.  Much of life is that way, but I think New Year's Eve brings it to the forefront.

The past year has been good in so many ways.  Everyone in our house is first of all, still alive, and that overtakes anything else both good or bad.  We all managed to stay fairly healthy, with a few bumps along the way but nothing serious.  That first and foremost makes it a good year as far as I'm concerned.

And I managed to get a fair amount of knitting done, a lot of reading, a good spell of exercising and working out before something put the kibosh on that for a few months; I've done pretty well on keeping up with the house and to some extent, our garden.  

We were able to take a trip to WV for Memorial Day, and then a weekend in Baltimore in the fall, so we saw some of our family in person finally - whoo hoo!

WE PAID OFF THE MORTGAGE ON OUR HOUSE.  That is something I never thought happened to anyone, much less to us!

But as you likely know, and as I don't mind telling you, I have struggled mightily this year, mental health-wise.  It hasn't been good that way.  Even on my a best days, the darkness is only about an inch away, but most of the time I'm used to it being there and can just tell it to stay there and move forward with my life.  

Unfortunately, this year that was not the case.  And 99.999999% of it had to do with my workplace.  As I have mentioned, at the beginning of the year, our CEO decided to take over direct supervision of our dept when our previous supervisor took a sabbatical.  That meant that a tenuous situation took a serious nosedive.  He has no idea what any of us actually do, and more to the point, doesn't care and doesn't want to know.  Yet he is the one in charge of us and the one who evaluated us at the end of the year.  There is only one person in the dept he likes, and well, he likes her a bit too much.  Out of the four of us, there are two left - me and Little Miss Favorite.  She doesn't even speak to me (no one has ever figured out why), and for the near future I'm stuck with the two of them.  This is the same person who told me I was stupid in a meeting with other people, and who regularly finds ways to harrass and/or criticize me.  I've reported him to HR, but nothing has happened.  

I did learn before the holidays that one of the managers lodged a formal complaint about him with HR, which will lead to an official investigation, so that small amount of misery-loving-company made me feel a bit vindicated.

But it's been hard to get up each day, go to work, and repeat.  And even though I have tried really hard to leave it in the building once I walk out the door (something that I am usually able to do), it just hasn't been the case.  Even over this past week, the spectre of the holiday week being over and having to go to work has just been there, laughing at me.  Ugh.    

I really hope I can find something - anything - in 2022.  So far, I've been lucky enough to get interviews for 2 part-time jobs, and then failed to be the person chosen.  That's gotten harder each time.  So please keep a good thought for me, since being able to leave where I am would be a huge help.

 ...

But - I'm still lucky, because I am surrounded by love and ridiculousness that can make me laugh, even when I feel the worst.  For instance, this photo:

This is an official Koodle selfie.  Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting on the couch reading, and Hamlet was being a real goofball.  So I grabbed my phone to take a picture of him.  Just as I got ready to snap the photo, the Koodle jumped up, bumped me on the elbow, which apparently changed the setting to selfie mode, and here he is!  It's not a great photo, but frankly it's a heckuva lot better than any selfie *I've* ever tried to take ... 😀

So let's all hope for more of this in 2022, and less of You-Know-Who.  I have been telling myself that it just has to get better, even if it is worse right now.  I'm not a Pollyanna by any means, but with a brand new year around the bend, I want the good parts to outweigh everything else.  

So long, 2021 - you weren't easy, but it wasn't all your fault.  Let's hope that the new year will brush off some of your dust so we can just be ourselves again.

Here's to 2022 - hopefully a new job, more vaccinated people, more goodness in the world!  Let's normalize the pandemic as a thing of the past, right?

How Easily I Forget

It's the time of year when "Year in Review" things are everywhere, and just like every year when they do them, I realize how much I forgot even happened at all; or someone will have died, and I'll remember thinking they had already been dead for years.  Does that happen to you?

I mean, not all of it is worth making the effort to remember, but there are some things that were SO big when they happened, and I at least apparently moved right on.

Case in point:

I remembered the inauguration and the insurrection, but until someone posted this photo, I forgot all about Bernie Sanders and his mittens:

(Source: New York Times)

And then remember how people were so anxious to knit a pair?  I mean, that was all pretty popular at the time.  Left my brain completely.

And this - completely forgot that it happened this past year - the ship stuck in the Suez Canal:

(Source: New York Times)

When it was happening, I found it weirdly fascinating, and wondered how they would be able to get it to move so they could get it out of the way.  Now it feels like it happened 20 years ago.

Rush Limbaugh died.  I forgot all about that, but was pleased to realize it again when reminded.  Same with anything Kardashian-adjacent (divorces, show cancellations) that happened that I had to hear about even when I didn't try.

Bill Cosby was let out of prison. Ugh.

On the plus side, a vaccine for Covid-19 was approved and available, but of course some people didn't get it due to their "freedoms" and so we are still in the pandemic.  Ugh.  But seriously, I forgot that at this time in 2020, we were all still hoping it would be a reality (the vaccine, not the stupidity).

Remember the approximately 2-week period when we were told that things were under control enough that we didn't have to constantly wear masks, even outside?  Again, I would have sworn that was 20 years ago.

Time is weird.  Fascinating, but weird.  Who knows what I'll have forgotten about by this time next year??

Scenes and Gifts of Christmas Day

Well, I meant to post yesterday, but I had an awful headache in the morning, and by the time I felt better, it was late in the afternoon, so I decided to just wait until today.  

As previously mentioned, we had a wonderful Christmas Day.  I thought you might enjoy some of the scenes and gifts of the day.

First of all, Hamlet and His Big Weird Package.  This was from Santa, and required a lot of sniffing.  

But he was *very* happy with what was inside - a new bed!

Pip was annoyed that we took SO LONG to open presents - The Tim and I made our breakfast and ate it before we got started, and he let us know of his displeasure.

This was the view from the breakfast table.  Everyone was hinting!

The cats also got a bed from Santa, which has been a BIG hit!

Between resting in the new beds, and playing with some toys from Santa, Hamlet and the kitties had a lot of fun all day.  They were so busy!

Here is a gift Santa brought to me - The Gallery of Dug the Doodle Dog!

I love this so much!  The Tim and I both cried when I opened it.

And look at the one photo - The Doodle with his Koodle!  Look how *tiny* the Koodle is here, I forgot he was ever that small.

I got a tiny Baby Yoda in my stocking:

And I'm sure you can imagine that this gift from The Tim was a huge hit with me:

I asked him where he found these, and he laughed and said, "CVS."  Clearly not the one near us, though, since you're lucky to find things you actually *need* at that one!

He also got me this Gritty ornament, but I'm going to put him on my desk at work to make me smile instead.  Gritty is the mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers hockey team, and he is basically a very funny a**hole, and it amuses me to no end.

And finally, this little kitty ornament was in my stocking - I love his knitted hat and scarf!

I'll have to try and get photos of the mugs I got The Tim for Christnas - they cracked me up when I got them, and he LOVES them!  So stay tuned for those.

Today I have no specific plans but will likely write some thank-you notes for gifts we received, and then do some knitting.  Not a bad way to spend time, you know??

The Second Day of Christmas 2021

Hello - I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas Day if you celebrate, and a wonderful long weekend in any case.  Ours was really enjoyable, and I'll have some pictures for you this week, I promise.  

This morning I had an appointment at 7:30 a.m. for my annual mammogram.  Now, every year I tell The Tim that I should get 50% off the cost, but he always points out that since insurance is paying for it, I should just not worry.  Which is a good point, but ANYWAY, on my walk over I stopped and took this photo:

This is the 1700-1900 block of a street in our neighborhood (the photo is taken from the end of the 1900 block).  Spoiler alert - these lights are up all year.  But nonetheless, they make me even happier when I see them during Christmastime.  It really is lovely to walk down these blocks, and be within the lights, and see the houses decorated.  For the rest of the year, they provide happiness whenever you walk past these blocks, but it just seems extra special right now.  And when it has just snowed, it really looks magical!

Earlier this year at some point, I had just received a refund check for something from my health insurance when Joanna of Stitching the High Notes started offering her Holiday Boxes.  She provided an overall idea of what would be included, and mentioned that it would be twelve days' worth of goodies. 

Now, as you know if you have read this blog for a while, that we celebrate Christmastime starting December 1 and ending on January 6.  I have always wished that the indie dyers who make Advent calendars would mix it up and also offer something for the 12 Days of Christmas, because it would be fun to still have some surprises to open.  

OK, so when I saw Joanna's description of her boxes, there I was with a refund check that would cover it.  When I asked The Tim if he thought I should use the money for that, he said something to the effect of "Do what you like with it - it's money you didn't think you had anyway."  So I ordered one, and it arrived in late November.  

Yesterday, I realized that it was the first of the 12 Days of Christmas, so I could open the first package!  It was a really lovely winter-themed project bag with a contrasting base in sparkly fabric, which is both a nice size, and really well-made.  Today, there was a very nice thermal mug.  Here they are:

Nice, right?  I'm so thrilled to have some surprises left!  The rest of the packages look smaller than either of these, so I'm intrigued as to what my be inside of them.  

Today is colder than it has been lately (which I welcome) but kind of dreary, so it's a good day to cozy up inside and read, knit, or whatever I decide to do.  The Tim had to work today, so it's just me and the critters, and it's not like they are complaining that nothing is going on.

I hope you can also enjoy your Second Day of Christmas, no matter what you may or may not be doing.  Take care.

Christmas Eve at Aunt Mary's

Here we are, at Christmas Eve, and the end of the Virtual Advent Tour sponsored by sprite.  She asked me if I would like to write the post for today, since I've done it for a couple of years, and I'm more than pleased to do it.

Until I was about 6 years old, we lived out of town, away from the rest of our extended family.  My parents always had plenty of friends, so it wasn't like we were never around other people, but it was quite a shock to me when we moved back to the town where both of my parents had grown up, and all of a sudden I had tons of relatives who knew all about me, and I was just learning about their existence!

My father was part of a family that had four children: himself, his sisters Mary Agnes and Helen, and his youngest brother John.  When he was about 13, his father was killed by a train, and the kids were split up to live with relatives - my dad and my Aunt Mary went to live with one set of grandparents, and Aunt Helen and Uncle John went to live with their mother and her parents.  From what I was able to gather, they never spent a whole lot of time together as a family after that, and my father and my Aunt Mary were very close to each other as a result.

Aunt Mary married a wonderful guy from a really large Polish family, and they had four sons - the three older boys were in between the ages of my sisters and me, and the youngest boy was two years younger than I am.  Aunt Mary's birthday was Christmas Eve, and of course, that was when her husband Uncle Eddie's family had their big Christmas celebration.  So from the time I was pretty young, we always went to their house on Christmas Eve.

And oh, was it something!  Uncle Eddie's family would be there, and they were such a fun group of people - they loved singing, dancing, and just laughing together.  They treated us like family as well, and walking into Aunt Mary's house on Christmas Eve was like walking into a family reunion of people who had longed to see you for years (even though it was always just a year since we'd last seen them).  

And the food - homemade by Uncle Eddie, all of the pierogies, cabbage rolls, breads, and sweets, etc. that you could imagine.  Walking into the house, the smells alone made your mouth water, and even if you had just eaten dinner an hour ago, Uncle Eddie made you a plate, and no matter how full you were, you devoured every bite and it tasted better than anything you could ever remember eating!

But wait - then there was birthday cake!  Always a bakery cake (I don't think Uncle Eddie ever tried to make a cake for her, and the boys were typical boys of the time and likely couldn't even boil water).  Everyone - and there were usually at least about 40 people crammed into their small kitchen around the table - would sing "Happy Birthday," and we'd all have some cake.  Then everyone would move into the living room, admire their tree, and Aunt Mary would have small gifts for each person.

At the time, I thought this was just the best - it was *her* birthday, and we were the ones who received gifts!  It was never anything big, but it was a package to unwrap and take home, and frankly that was as exciting as anything else.  

I think of Aunt Mary and her family every Christmas Eve, and especially remember that it's her birthday.  She and Uncle Eddie both passed away years ago.  We never really kept in touch with our cousins, nor did they make an effort on their part.  When I was in college, I heard through a mutual acquaintance that the eldest had moved somewhere in the South to start over after kicking a drug habit; the next kid was in prison for drug dealing and theft; the third son had married, had a couple of kids and moved to Utah once he came out of rehab for alcoholism; and the youngest was married and working in the coal mine.  I am sorry to say that at this point, I know nothing about any of them, or even if they are still alive, and that's really too bad, because I know that would make my Aunt Mary sad to know.

But even now, my sisters and I still talk about "Christmas Eve at Aunt Mary's" and how much fun it was, and who would always be there, the food, the singing, the polkas, and the warm embrace of love to anyone and everyone who walked through the door.  They were like the rest of the family - hardly any money, making it through things as well as they could, and wanting the best for their kids.  Outsiders looking in probably felt sorry for them, since they never had a nice house, or a fancy car, and because their kids had so many troubles as they got older.

But Christmas Eve at Aunt Mary's was the highlight of the year.  And now I realize that it was because of the feeling of family and belonging, and unconditional love just because you existed.  Not the gifts, not the food, but the people, the excitement and huge greetings you received when you opened the door and crossed the threshold.  I've never experienced anything like it since, and that could be just my imagination and my memory telling me so, but I'm not convinced that is the case.

My wish for all of us this Christmas Eve is that we all have at least one small part of this feeling for the holiday.  Whether you are with the family of origin, or the family you have created; with your friends, or your roommates, or even on your own with some furry or other pet companions.  I hope that you will have one second of the feeling of being loved, being special, being welcome.  Christmas should be that as much as anything else.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

And Happy Birthday, Aunt Mary.