FO: Angypang Socks; Getting There; On the Needles; Local Wildlife

Hello everyone and thank you for your such kind comments on my last post. I think I may still have problems responding to comments on this post (which you'll understand soon), but I do feel like I might be getting there slowly. Thanks for sticking around and caring.

*****

Now for an FO to show you - TA DA!

Project: Angypang Socks

Pattern:  Little Boxes Socks by Summer Lee

Yarns: Farmers Daughters Fibers  Highwood Sock in the colorway Morning Honey; Farmers Daughters Fibers Rocky Mountain Purls in the Rooted Eartb colorway. Both are part of the Sock Squad 2026 club.

Needles:  US size 1/2.25 mm and US size 1 1/2/2.5 mm

Notes: I was cruising Instagram one day when I came across a post by Edble Thoughts Makes, where she showed her completed pair of these socks. I was so immediately hooked, and even knew what yarn I would use! So I bought the pattern, and cast on. 

This was in the middle of April, and I zoomed along pretty quickly (for me). While I knit the first sock, we still had Angus, and he would sit with me while I knit. I told him we should call these socks Sunshine and Blue Skies because I felt like that's what they showed and how I felt when he was with me. Then the day I was finishing the first sock, it was the day we were leaving to return him to thei rescue. He was leaning against me as I finished kitchenering them. I decided then and there they would be the "Angypang Socks" because I would call him Angypang when I was teasing him. 

In the photo above, if you look closely, you can see a few extra yellow stitches in the middle of the first toe round across the top. I told him that was the two of us, working on this sock together, and I would always be able to know that was the first sock I knit and that he was there. And now I'm sobbing again, which is why it took me so long to post this FO. I'm not sure I'll be able to wear them anytime soon, but they will be there when I'm ready. 💗💔

As for the pattern, if you want to try colorwork on a small area, this is a great pattern! So clearly written, and truly so simple. Once you get the first pattern repeat finished, it's pretty much in your head. And since they are Shortie socks, they go so fast! (Though I'm definitely gonna try this pattern on a regular pair of socks down the line.) This is the first time I've knit a Summer Lee pattern, and I get her popularity now, it's well-earned.

*****

OK I'm back after a good cry break, to show you one of the things currently on my needles. After I finished the Litle Boxes, it was about two weeks without any socks on the needles - I know, for me that's nuts!

First some background for you. The week before Memorial Day, Alfie and I spent some time in the garden cleaning up. I thought since we weren't going to WV for the holiday weekend, it would be nice if the garden was ready for us to be out there (spoiler alert: it rained all weekend, but we at least had cleaned up the garden!). 

Anyway, since then, Alfie and I have been going out into the garden first thing in the morning and hanging out, just enjoying it. Right now at least, the weather is pleasant, and there are no mosquitoes around yet (YAYAYAYAY!), so being out there is just perfect. Last week one day, instead of reading like I usually do, I decided to work on a pair of socks I've started. I've gotten more done since this photo was taken, but I am nonetheless really happy with how they are looking:

These socks are the Cottage Hearts pattern by Crazy Sock Lady Designs. They will be regular socks, as opposed to shorties, and again, I am having fun with colors. I have finished the leg, and just yesterday finished the gusset on the first sock, so they are zooming right along as well. 

While Alfie and I were out in the garden last week and I was knitting, we had a visitor:

This little squirrel youngster showed up. He got closer to both of us than he probably should have, but I of course was no threat. and Alfie was interested, but not enough to do anything about it. I'm not sure if he didn't want to get up, or if maybe he realized it was a young squirrel and was not going to engage. But anyway, we all sat out there together for about half an hour more after he showed up. We thought about calling him Tiny, but I told Alfie that was too easy, so instead we named him Petits Pois. It was a lovely time, our little trio just enjoying a nice morning.

*****

And that's catching you up with things, more or less. Unfortunately, the hits keep coming in my family, but they are interspersed with some nice things, so I try to keep those in mind. We had a lovely Bloomsday yesterday, and also belatedly celebrated Milo the Koodle's birthday since we couldn't easily do it when it actually came around. And fortunately, he didn't mind. 😊

So I hope all of you are doing well, and finding some good/nice/happy to be thankful for even in any of the bad. I'm hoping to get myself more on track, and hopefully the universe will give me a break so I can pick up a little bit more momentum with everything. But regardless, once again than you for being here and being so kind. Enjoy your day!

Trying To Be OK

Hello Friends, and Happy June to all of you! I'm afraid I'm still having some troubles getting back into the swing of things. Besides having to say goodbye to Angus, there's been some not so great health news in my own family that is also causing me to not feel much better about things. But I really am trying to be OK, I absolutely promise you. And I know I'll be OK, it's just a never-ending pile up of stuff at the moment.

Which is also why I haven't responded much to all of you who have been kind enough to leave comments on previous posts. Even doing that is more than I can handle some days. So I'm not blowing you off, I just don't currently have bandwidth. I'm hoping that any comments I get on this post will be ones I can get the wherewithal to repond to, since "talking" to all of you is such a happy thing for me.

I'm still behind on other things too, though I am doing the things that absolutely are necessary to do, so I'm not a complete zombie. Which is good, because distractions (even cleaning things up, UGH!) are a good thing at the moment.

Other that that, I picked up a stitching project I started last summer, and did only a small amount on, and I did manage to finish a section (did I already show this to you? I can't remember):

I'm happy with how it is turning out. Hopefully I can finish it this summer. 

I also finally get started on a knitting project that I've meant to do for over a year - even had the yarn ready!  This is the start of the Skyline Tee, by Tori Yu. This is the first time I've knit one of her patterns, and it's so well written and clear. I was a bit hesitant because there were some things I've never tried before, but her instructions made things incredibly understandable. 

Like the stitching project, hopefully this will be finished this summer as well. 😜

After Alfie and I cleaned up the garden a few weeks ago, we have been able to enjoy sitting out there together first thing in the morning. He enjoys watching the birds and squirrels, and just hanging out. We usually go out for about an hour or an hour and a half, and it's nice because it's usually so quiet. I generally read and enjoy my cup of tea, and on very rare occasions a squirrel will not realize he is there and he'll go to chase it, but fortunately, the squirrels are MUCH faster than he is! It's become a pleasant ritual, and other than rainy days, we do it for sure. I don't know if we'll continue once the extreme heat and/or humidity arrive, but it's nice for now.

So that's the news from me. I hope all of you are well, and trust me, I've been reading all of your blogs even if I don't comment that much at the present. Thanks for hanging in, it's nice to have comments to read, even if currently I'm quiet at the other end of things. 

When The Right Thing To Do Is Awful

Please note - Mosf of this was already posted early this morning on both Instagram and Facebook, so unless you have the desire to feel bad again, feel free to wait for the next post. I've added a few things, but it's mostly the same.

*****

OK I just want to get through this. Warning - this is a long sad post, but I just wanted people to hopefully understand both our decision and our heartbreak. Sometimes the best thing is also the most awful.

First meeting, and adoption day a few days later.

This weekend we had to return our beloved Angus to the foster parents who had him when we adopted him from the rescue he was in. On Saturday, he attacked Alfie, and though Alfie is fine, it was the second time that it happened (the first was when he first came home; it was less serious and we realized he was new to everything), and this time, @philly.tim had a much harder time getting him to stop and let go.

We were told from the rescue that he was fine with cats, but even though our cats are very chill and are not running around all day, he never was completely able to even just co-exist with them. We tried our very best for 8 weeks and two days, but after Saturday, decided that it wasn't fair to Angus, the kitties, or to us to continue.

The small comfort we have is that he went back to his previous foster parents, who adore him. But a huge part of my heart and soul has been ripped out of me.

These pictures cover our first meeting to his last morning here (yesterday morning). The last photo is his "luggage" we were sending with him. He arrived with his collar, leash, and a peanut butter treat bar; he left with food, treats, clothes, toys, and a whole bag of peanut butter treat bars. Not to mention our hearts and souls.

We will ALWAYS love you, Angus Podgorny Clancy, and you'll always be our sweet boy. I'm sorry all of the wonderful and joyful things about you in our lives was undone by your only real fault. I hope you find a family who will love you beyond reason like us, in a wonderful, cat-free home. God bless both you and your foster parents, who immediately were ready to take you home again, who absolutely love you, and will not let anyone but good people adopt you again.

I truly believe we did the right thing, but oh how it hurts.

My last photo of him - yesterday morning after a walk. 

His luggage. Not shown: our hearts, which cannot be placed into bags, but that we hope he knows are always his. I am counting on Duggie and Hamlet to watch over him for us.

I am at a loss, since having Angus really gave strucure and extra joy to my days. As you all know, dogs are different companions than cats are. And Angus was my shadow, my walking companion, and my partner in crime.

One of the best things about our neighborhood has always been the amount of dogs in it. Being out and seeing them with their people, sometimes getting to pet them, and generally just watching how happy they were to be going along, makes you smile. But I have to say today, and for a while going forward, that's also going to be one of the most tortuous things about our neighborhood.

And yes, I know that I'll be OK, that I'll get used to it even though I won't get over it. I know that, because of an entire lifetime of experiencing heartbreaking loss. I know he is being loved and adored with his foster parents, and that they will not allow him to go to any family but a good one.

 I got dressed and took a walk this morning and it was agony, even though it's a lovely day. But right now, and for a while, it just sucks too much to bear.

Anyway, now you know. I'm turning off comments for this post, because I know how all of you will commiserate with me and offer your love and prayers, and that is appreciated more than you know. But right now, I am 100 percent certain that I couldn't handle reading them, much less responding. I'm hoping you will understand.

*****

I will be posting tomorrow, because as is often the case, with the worst news also comes reasons to smile. So I'll talk to all of you again then. 

... And Start All Over Again

Nothing's impossible, I have found

For when my chin is on the ground

I pick myself up, dust myself off

And start all over again.

-- Lyrics by Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields

Well, the end of last week certainly took care of any good feeling happening after the beginning of the week. For me, personally, and for a lot of us in the States as well. I was still adjusting to one gut punch when another one showed up saying "Hold my beer."

And now it's Monday morning, which let's face it, few people anticipate with joy. But we're all still here, and we have a choice - give up and be miserable forever, or pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again.

Yet again. There have been so many agains, it's easy to take the giving up route. And if that is what you choose, that's up to you. It's hard to collect your heart and soul when it's been pulverized and put it all together well enough to keep going. I don't know about you, but I tend to go back and forth on it. But then I realize that in spite of what I might wish to do, if I wake up every day, maybe the universe is saying I should try my best.

Easier said than done.

Whenever I am in the depths, and have even one iota of physical and mental energy, I try to make myself do one thing that I hope will be successful. Not necessarily any specific thing, and nothing major. Maybe I'll decide to take a long, quiet walk. Or get rid of one corner of clutter. Anything that I can "accomplish."

On Friday, I took some of the scarves and mittens we wore during the winter and washed them so they could be put away until needed again. (Yes, I  know it's nearly the end of June and we haven't needed them for a while. So sue me.) While I was waiting for the washing machine to finish, so I could hang them up near a window upstairs to dry, I was reading a book, and the main character was making breakfast for some guests, and she made Rosemary-Orange Muffins. Hm, I thought, that sounds good, as I like every word of that phrase. So I headed to Google, and found a recipe that sounded a) good, b) simple, and c) had "normal" ingredients (i.e., not something like "1 milli-teaspoon of the rosemary oil of the plant only found in Bulgaria"). I decided to give the recipe a try for Saturday morning's breakfast. This gave me something to look forward to doing, and in the state of mind where I found myself, that was a definite bonus.

I decided that since I had never tried the recipe, which said that it made 20 muffins, I'd cut it in half, just in case it wasn't really that great. Because if you are not that fond of something, having 20 of them is a lot.

But I shouldn't have worried, because THEY. WERE. YUMMY! 

I would say that it took me maybe fifteen minutes to do the prep - mostly zesting the orange took the longest to do - and the ingredients were things at least in our house are generally around anyway. Especially in the summer when we always have at least one rosemary plant going.

Here are the muffins cooling out of the pan:

And here is my fancy-schmancy presentation, along with the pieces of the zested orange and some cottage cheese:

If, like us, you are a fan of three things - rosemary, oranges, and muffins - you need to make these. First of all, the house smelled amazing while they were baking. Second of all, they were so very very good. And third of all, they taste just as good, maybe even a bit better, the longer they sit. (I wrapped the extras and froze them. Took one out to thaw yesterday and have with a cup of tea, and it was perfect!)

Now the woman in the book I was reading referred to Sarah Chase's recipe, and I must admit I have no idea who Sarah Chase might be. I used this recipe, and can personally recommend it. You can bet that these will be added to our "keepers" and that the next time I'll likely make all 20 of them. 😊

In conclusion, what I can tell you is that yes, I am tired. Very, very tired. I am beyond mad, sad, and frustrated. And so much of the world is crap, we didn't need anymore, but we got it anyway. I hope you can find something small to call a win, because if you are reading this, you woke up today and you might as well try to make that worth something. Even if it's only trying a new recipe that makes you happy.

Time to start all over again. 

Again.

Go Easy and Be Kind

This isn't the post I was originally planning to write today.  Not that what I was going to say was life-changing and important, but I had something else in mind.

As I was walking out the door this morning to church, our next door neighbor was coming up the street towards their house.  I was surprised to see him, because I knew their teenaged daughter's school was already closed for the holidays, and we expected that they would be spending their holiday in Maine.  They are in the process of building a vacation house there, and love to go up and spend time there whenever they have a bit of extra time off.  I mentioned this, and he said that was the original plan, but things changed suddenly.

His mother died this past Thursday.

Now we don't know his parents well, but we saw them regularly when they would visit next door.  They moved from their family home in Illinois about five years ago to be closer to the couple who lives next door, and I always thought it was especially nice how much they seemed to love their daughter-in-law, and how she was crazy about them.  Todd's mother was a lovely woman, always smiling, and with a wonderful sense of humor.  In the past few years, she had two hip replacements and bounced right back with few problems.  Todd said that she had a massive stroke last Tuesday.  Apparently her birthday was last Wednesday, and she told them she wanted to hang on for that.  She had always insisted that her birthday be celebrated separately from Christmas, so they had cupcakes and sang Happy Birthday to her, which she really enjoyed.  She told them it would be OK to have to leave now, and she died the next day.

That is so poignant to me.  I'm very glad she didn't linger and suffer, and I know it's a shock for all of her family, but to some degree it sounded like she did things her way, on her terms.  And in the end, she was surrounded by those she loved and who loved her, and frankly, I envy her that.  Todd says that she had always wished her adult children and their families would spend Christmas together, enjoying each others' company and telling funny stories, etc.  He said that in the saddest way possible, she finally got her wish.  They are all going to try and have as good a Christmas as possible in her honor.

Todd also told me that his dad and his mom were "lifelong buds," having met each other in elementary school.

I guess you don't really need to know all of this.  But I wanted you to know, because I think it's important to know that someone is no longer here who mattered to so many people.  We get so caught up in our own plans, thoughts, and problems, that we forget that when someone - anyone - dies, it's a ripple effect to an extent we might never know.

After talking to Todd, I walked up to church, and as it turns out, a baby girl was being baptized today.  There she was, dressed in a fancy christening dress, with her proud parents, older brother, and others, all smiling and beaming because of the occasion.  And I thought, wow, universe, way to remind me of the circle of life and all that.  That little girl will never know Mrs. Drake, but she will meet others like her; she has a grandmother that means everything to her.  Or maybe she'll have next door neighbors with a mom like Mrs. Drake.  She will undoubtedly have an intersection in her life with someone like Todd's mother, though she may never realize what that woman means to others.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is no doubt that everyone has lost someone along the way.  And no matter what, it's not easy, and it is never fair.  Having loved someone and/or knowing they loved you is so hard, but so worthwhile, even when you have to say goodbye.

Tread lightly around others when you can.  You don't miss someone only when they die, any more than you are only happy when someone is born.  Smile at someone and mean it.  Wish someone a Merry Christmas.  Make someone laugh.  Hold someone's hand.

Be kind.  We can't always love everyone, but we can try to be kind and that's better than nothing.

Oh Canada! Oh Rest of the World!

When I was a little kid, and would say I hated someone, my mother would always say, "Don't say that.  It's not good to hate people, and besides it takes too much energy."  Years later, she mentioned someone, ans said, "You know, I think I hate her."  I pointed out what she told me, and she said, "Yeah, well, it takes very little energy to hate her." 

And I have to say, the Orange Menace occupying the White House  definitely falls into that category.  Words cannot describe my loathing for him and his group.  On top of of which, he has decided that the last few countries who were are friends need to know "who's in charge," and wants to teach them a lesson. 

To my friends in Canada, and the rest of the world - PLEASE know that he does not speak for me, or for a large number of people in this country.  He is just simply one of the most terrible persons ever, and has always been that way.  I've got nothing, as far as understanding or explaining why anyone supports him.

I do my very best to try not to talk about it here, but lately he has just gone above and beyond, even for him, and I just want any readers who are not from the U.S. to know that I do not support his actions, his behavior, or his ideas. 

God help us all.  Now onto the week.

A Poem for This Friday

Letter Beginning with Two Lines by Czelaw Milosz
by Matthew Olzmann

You whom I could not save,
Listen to me.

Can we agree Kevlar
backpacks shouldn't be needed

for children walking to school?
Those same children

also shouldn't require a suit
of armor when standing

on their front lawns, or snipers
to watch their backs

as they eat at McDonalds.
They shouldn't have to stop

to consider the speed
of a bullet or how it might

reshape their bodies.  But
one winter, back in Detroit,

I had one student
who opened a door and died.

It was the front 
door to his house, but

it could have been any door,
and the bullet could have written

any name.  The shooter
was thirteen year old

and was aiming 
at someone else.  But

a bullet doesn't care
about "aim," it doesn't

distinguish between
the innocent and the innocent, 

and how was the bullet
supposed to know this

child would open the door
at the exact wrong moment

because his friend 
was outside and screaming

for help.  Did I say 
I had "one" student who

opened a door and died?
That's wrong.  

There were many.
The classroom of grief

had far more seats'
than the classroom for math

though every student 
in the classroom for math

could count the names
of the dead.

A kid opens the door.  The bullet
couldn't possibly know,

nor could the gun, because
"guns don't kill people," they don't

have minds to decide
such things, they don't choose

or have a conscience,
and when a man doesn't

have a conscience, we call him
a psychopath.  This is how

we know what type of assault rifle
a man can be, 

and how we discover
the hell that thrums inside

each of them.  Today,
there's another

shooting with dead 
kids everywhere.  It was a school,

a movie theater, a parking lot.
The world

is full of doors.  
And you, whom I cannot save,

you may open a door

and enter a meadow, or a eulogy.
And if the latter, you will be

mourned, then buried
in rhetoric.

There will be 
monuments of legislation,

little flowers made
from red tape.

What should we do?  We'll ask
again.  The earth will close

like a door above you.
What should we do?

And that click you hear?
That's just our voices,

the deadbolt of discourse,
sliding into place.