Many years ago, in a different life, The Tim and I lived in Washington, DC, and we both worked jobs that had 8-5 hours, Monday through Fridays. So we often did our grocery shopping early on Sunday mornings, because most of the grocery stores were not crowded at that time, and then we also had the rest of the day to do other things.
The two primary grocery stores at the time were Giant and Safeway. There were no Giant stores that near to us, so we would most often go to Safeway.* A friend let us in on the secret that the Safeway in Georgetown was especially nice, and had really great produce, since "it's where the maids shop." So we tried it out, and she was right - all of the produce looked nice, it was a clean store, and just overall much much nicer than our "regular" Safeway.
One Sunday morning at the Georgetown Safeway, we had gotten the stuff we wanted, and headed for the checkout lines. There was only one lane open (it was that quiet in the store), and a guy got there a millisecond before me with his cart. And then, even though I had made no comment or gesture indicating that I should have been before him, he said - in the most prissy way possible - "I was here first. And if you don't believe me, you can ask the manager," pointing towards the room where the manager was sitting, which had windows out onto the store.
Me (in my brain); What is your problem? Also, I'm sure the manager spends all of his time keeping track of who should be first in what lane ...
Anyway, no big deal. But then, when the cashier starting ringing up his order, he said to her, "I was in line first, no matter what SHE says" (pointing to me, again being REALLY prissy). As you might well imagine, the cashier was uninterested.
I noticed that everything he was buying was super organic, healthy food. And I was annoyed that he was making a big deal out of something that didn't even happen. So, I scanned the shelves at the checkout, and chose a king size bag of M&M peanut candies, and a small carton of Ex-Lax and added it to his order. When he saw them and said, "Wait, I didn't buy those!" and pointed at me, I was going to say, "Well, *I* didn't put them there. If you don't believe me, you can ask the manager."
The glee that was building in me was immense. No one was ever happier at a grocery store checkout lane, Georgetown Safeway or not. I kept giving The Tim meaningfully amused looks. He had a poker face.
So, you are possibly wondering - what ended up happening?
Well, he didn't notice the extra items, and therefore paid for them, and was likely infuriated to find them in his bag when he unpacked his groceries at home. I'm hoping took them back for a refund and talked to the MANAGER!
I was amused and pleased for the whole day, that I had gotten my revenge on someone who was such a twit.
The Tim had missed the entire series of events, and had no idea why I looked so pleased with myself. When I regaled him with the entire tale, he just shook his head. Apparently he does not find whimsical revenge amusing.
Oh well, that is his loss.
**Note: All these years later, this story still pleases and amuses me.