26 June 2015

Personal Opinion

The title says it.  I don't usually get into social/political/religious commentary here, so if you don't want to read any further, please just click close or delete or whatever, and though I hope you'll come back, that is your decision to make.

Today, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that same sex marriage is legal in all fifty states.

I was raised by a married couple who were male and female.  First and foremost, they wanted us to be good people, with good values.  They were religious and they were spiritual, but they were also realistic and worldly.  They expected nothing less from us.

When I was a kid, I didn't really know or pay attention to whether or not anyone was homosexual (the term "gay" didn't apply at that point), and I do not remember my parents talking about it at all.  As a teenager, I remember being shocked when my mother said something about one of their friends being homosexual.  When I asked who it was, she said it was none of my business.

I am not a perfect person by any means, but I have to truly say that it never even crossed my mind to care if someone was gay or straight.  I dislike a lot of people, but that is not one of the determining factors.  I have never ever felt threatened when I was around someone who was gay, nor have I worried that their existence was a danger to my morals, values, or marriage.

I used to work with a guy who lived with his female partner for fifteen years when I met him.  He was really upset when our employer changed their benefits so that gay couples could share benefits, because they were not offered to opposite sex partner couples as well.  I pointed out that all he would have to do to get those benefits would be to get married, and he said that marriage was a meaningless thing, and he was never getting married. I said that he and his partner could go to a justice of the peace, get married, and the only thing that it would have to mean would be they could share benefits.  I pointed out that gay couples were not allowed to do this no matter what.  He was not in agreement.  But you know what?  We somehow managed to continue working together and we got along, even though I thought he was a jerk, and I'm sure he had his own thoughts about me.

I was raised Catholic, and though I don't spend a lot of time in church now, I still identify as one.  Maybe it's because I attended a Jesuit college, where the most important thing we learned was how to think.  I found out that among clergy, there was as much difference of personal opinion as there was among the general population.  Truth be known, many of the local parish priests felt that the Jesuits were a really suspicious group.

I guess what I'm saying is that I am glad that anyone who wants to get married can now do so legally.  And even if your individual religious beliefs do not embrace the idea, and it makes you uncomfortable, it's still the way things are as of today.  Believe it or not, it won't change my day-to-day existence at all - everyone I know will still be whoever they were yesterday.

I think the Supreme Court ruling is a good one.  I am thrilled for those who fought long and hard for the right to marry, and the other rights and benefits that come from being in a legal relationship.

But mostly, I just plan to live my life.  As I hope everyone else will be allowed to do.

Rainbow crosswalk in Philadelphia


Araignee said...

Well said. I live in a beach town with a large gay population and I'm also a part of the ice skating community here in the DC area so I can speak from plenty of authority on the fact that gay couples have the same dreams-and challenges as the rest of us. Thank goodness today they have one less to overcome.

Bonny said...

I enjoyed reading your thoughts and feel much the same myself. I am interested in the four dissenting opinions on the Supreme Court, and not being a Constitutional scholar, I may never really understand them, but I think the decision is good from a simple human viewpoint. A friend (who is gay) told me that this helps her feel validated and accepted as a human being; hopefully the decision allows more people to live their lives. Cool crosswalk!

Lorraine said...

Bridget- Hear Hear!

Unless you are a chikd-molester, I really don't care who you sleep with. It has no bearing on who you are, or your values.

I am happy that anyone who wants to, can, be married.

Caffeine Girl said...

I have never understood the opposition to equal rights for anyone, be they black, Latino, or gay. I hope this decision puts some discrimination behind our nation.

Mereknits said...

Bravo and I am so with you on all of this and feel it is long, long overdue. My sister-in-law and her partner are actually getting married next Friday after being together 21 years. Not because of the ruling but because they already had it planned. We were going up to Wisconsin for a trip so they picked a time we could be there. Upon hearing this my son's who were not going on the trip felt they needed to be there for the wedding as they love both of their Aunts. I was a proud Mom when they both brought it up to me each on their own and told me their wishes. My son's as well as good deal of the younger population have been brought up to feel this is no big deal, if you are gay straight, transgender, purple, pink or yellow. Young people don't see the differences other people do and that gives me hope for our future.

Linda said...


Linda in VA

Kym said...

Well said! What a lovely, heartfelt post!

April said...

Hi, I read often but have never commented before. I'm a practicing Catholic spending the summer in Italy. Saw Popw Francis last week. It was an awesome experience. The subject of gay marriage has never bothered me for some reason. It doesn't lessen my own marriage in any way. I'm not sure why others think it will. But like the Pope says, "Who am I to judge?" I agree with him. I'm not I this earth to do that, only to love and accept those around me. A daily challenge for sure. Plus I have several gay relatives and a new brother-in-law. They are fine men and women. I could never exclude them and only wish happiness for them. So I'm with them and you. Thanks for saying it so well.

Marie said...

It's mostly a small but really loud, obnoxious vocal minority, and Fox News of course, who actually give a hoot whether or not someone is gay or otherwise different. When the aforementioned vocal minority started going on with their blather about gay marriage undermining "traditional" marriage, my husband and I decided to tough it out and stay married, since we didn't see the imagined danger. The new SCOTUS ruling means that two of my nieces can marry their partners if they've a mind to do that. Same with some friends of mine who are male. And they damn well better ALL invite me to the weddings! ;)

elns said...

"I dislike a lot of people, but that is not one of the determining factors." Too right.