21 November 2020

In Which I Decide (for the millionth time) That My Sister Is Just ...

I don't know, choose one.  Clueless.  Annoying.  Even more self-involved than I am (quite a feat!).  Unrealistic.  

Background: my oldest sister Nancy and her husband live in southern California (where "all the beautiful people are," as she tells us. A lot).  Her two children and their families live in northern California and Arizona respectively.  My sister - much like my parents - is the kind of extrovert that makes regular extroverts look like introverts.  So yes, this pandemic has been especially hard for her, because she is not someone who reads, or knits, or can easily entertain herself.  She likes to go shopping, get together with her friends for lunch or for pickle ball, go to concerts, etc.  Though she is disgusted with people not wearing masks, etc., she also has a blind spot when it comes to certain things.  This is a summary of a conversation I had with her last week on the phone:

Me:  So what are the kids and their families gonna do for the holiday?

N: Chad and family are staying in Arizona.  The two oldest are coming home from college, but they will get tested beforehand.  We were thinking that we would see Ben and Lauren and the kids, but Lauren said that in San Francisco, they were doing a shut down order that said anyone who traveled even within the state would need to quarantine at both ends of it for two weeks.  

Me:  Yeah, a lot of places are doing similar things.

N:  Well, in some places it made sense, but I said to Lauren, "Do they realize you'd be coming to visit Orange County?  That shouldn't be on the list." 

As you may have figured out, my sister lives in Orange County.  Which is apparently a special place free of anything awful, where flowers grow, birds sing, and unicorns dance while exuding glitter from their butts.

I understand that she wants to see her kids and grandkids, I do.  And trust me, I know how frustrating it is to be doing the right thing while other people go around like nothing different is happening.  But just because you live in Orange County, with all of the "beautiful people" and the wonderfulness of it all, it doesn't mean you are any different than anyone who lives anywhere else.  I think for a lot of people, that's as much the disconnect as anything else.

But sometimes a conversation with my sister can make me realize that we don't just live in different states, we live in different worlds.   And again, I also realize - as much as I love her and would do anything I could for her - that if we were not related, we would not ever even be friends.  

Family is weird.  Mine more so than most, and overall in a good way.  This whole thing though?  Ugh!


Nance said...

Oh, Bridget. I understand. Sometimes I look at Certain Members of my family and think, "How on earth did they happen?" We are absolutely nothing alike. As the old adage says, "You can choose your friends, but you sure can't choose your family."

I sometimes wonder if they look at us and think the same thing. Or are they so self-obsessed that even *that* doesn't occur to them?

But we do love them anyway (from a distance, hopefully, which helps).

KSD said...

During all this, I've often wondered what my parents would make of it. As were their personalities, I suspect their views would be rather opposite. . .

Dee said...

I think we may have the same sister, except that mine lives in the Villages in Florida. Yes, THAT The Villages. The one Trump claims as HIS PEOPLE.

And yes, sadly, she is one of HIS people. :-(

Patricia & Fouad said...

Hi Bridget. It's me, Pat, from Orange County CA! I have to agree with you about Orange County. It's crazy here since Covid 19 has arrived. Although we are on different political spectrums, I admire both Governor Newsom and LA's Mayor Garcetti's guidance. They have been on point from day when when this virus hit us. Unfortunately, Orange County is run be a group of commissioners. The head one is a woman (Michelle Steel) who thinks this virus is not as lethal as it is. And, we have suffered from her inadequate policies. She, has now been elected to congress. There has been almost virtually no guidance for us down here in Orange County. My husband and I are staying home, wearing masks if we need to go out and we are NOT socializing in any way. Zilch. It's been this way since early March and we will continue this new way of life until things get better. It's too sad that people can't abide by the rules and this horrible virus can maybe decrease. I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. And, give your precious fur family a hug from me. Pat xx

Caffeine Girl said...

Orange County brought us the current GOP (yes, that's where the Barry Goldwater movement started and there is a throughline from Barry to Trump). So, what can you expect.

It is hard when families live in different worlds. My family has its issues, but we are all very liberal, so at least we can talk about politics. Religion...that's harder!